Quinn, Season 4
by WildDogJJ
Summary: The 2008-2009 recession adversely affects not only Quinn's life, but the lives of everyone she knows. Daria is forced to move back in with her parents while everyone is losing their jobs. They increasingly lean on each other as they all hit a financial rock bottom.
1. Chapter 1

**The Story so Far**

In the interest of making my "Quinn" spin off easier to follow I've decided to open each new season with a synopsis of the previous seasons.

 **Season 1**

This season covers Quinn's senior year at Lawndale High and was originally intended to be a one season mini series. It begins with all of the Former Fashion Club taking jobs at Burger World. It all goes horribly wrong and ends when Tiffany accidentally burns the place down. Quinn soon finds a new extra-curricular: tutoring Kevin. While this is going on Quinn and Jane bond over the fact that they both miss Daria and quickly become friends. Quinn is also still friends with Lindy and grows even more concerned about her continued drinking. Daria is having a hard time adjusting to college life and things come to a head when she becomes convinced that Quinn is trying to steal Jane from her. The sisters soon reconcile, however, and grow closer as a result. Stacy volunteers for the school paper and quickly becomes the Jane to Quinn's Daria. She also begins to stand up to Sandi more often, creating tension in the Former Fashion Club. Quinn soon learns that for the past year Stacy has been secretly in an on and off relationship with Upchuck. While this freaks Quinn out at first she soon gets over it and is supportive. By November the mounting tensions between Quinn and Sandi come to a head and the two have an epic showdown in the school hall. This results in Sandi not only being on the outs with the Former Fashion Club but the popular kids in general. After this Jane reveals to Quinn that she and Sandi had been friends in elementary school but in middle school Sandi fell in with the popular crowd and turned on Jane. By Christmas time we are introduced to a new character: Helen's mother, Emma. Emma is a stuck up matriarch who is obsessed with status and has a habit of hitting people with her cane. After the holiday Jane goes to BFAC. Quinn now becomes so concerned with Lindy's drinking that she stages an intervention. After this Lindy finally acknowledges that she has a problem and gets help. Quinn is supportive every step of the way. Stacy comes into possession of evidence that Ms. Li has been embezzling school funds for years. Quinn convinces Stacy to hand the evidence over to the authorities, which she does anonnymously. Ms. Li is arrested and most of the school administration are fired. As the most senior member of the faculty, Mr. DeMartino is appointed the new principal of Lawndale High. For spring break, Quinn and Stacy decide to take a road trip to Florida. Tiffany can't come because she has to attend a family member's wedding and Sandi is on the outs with everyone, so they take Daria and Jane. While in Miami Jane has a one night stand that goes horribly wrong, Daria runs into Tom and loses her virginity in a drunken hook up with him, Stacy and Upchuck have a hot tob encounter that is cut short by his paying too much attention to the other girls there and Quinn gets so drunk that she makes a complete fool of herself in front of everyone. Soon, it's college admissions time. Stacy is accepted at State U while Quinn waits to hear from Pepperhill and East Coast University. Quinn is accepted at ECU but, due to the recent scandals at Lawndale High, is rejected by Pepperhill. At this point Sandi, humbled by months of lonliness, comes to the Former Fashion Club to beg for forgiveness. They are skeptical at first but Quinn soon decides to give Sandi the benefit of the doubt and welcomes her back with open arms. Stacy and Tiffany follow suit. When Quinn graduates Stacy and Upchuck publically come out as a couple. At the ceremony Quinn recieves an award for academic improvement and philantropy. She shares the spotlight with Daria.

 **Interlude**

During Quinn's college years she remains friends with Stacy while growing closer to both Daria and Jane. She also has her first serious boyfriend, a football player named Trevor Anderson. Quinn majors in marketing and is a fine student. After her third year she moves out of the dorm. Daria and Jane, having finished college at this point, move to New York City (where Quinn is attending ECU). Jane plans to break in to the New York art scene while Daria pursues a PhD in literature. Quinn, Daria and Jane share an apartment in the city. As Quinn's college graduation approaches her relationship with Trevor starts to go downhill.

 **Season 2**

This season opens as Quinn is on the verge of graduating college. Her relationship with Trevor has deteriorated to the point where she is seriously considering breaking up with him. Meanwhile, Upchuck asks Stacy to marry him and she says yes. After graduation they move back to Lawndale. When Trevor tries to pressure Quinn in to marrying him she decides that it's over. She and Trevor break up but agree to remain friends. On July 4th Jake suffers another heart attack that nearly kills him. The Morgendorffer sisters return to Lawndale and prepare for the worst. Jake survives but it will take him almost a year to fully recover. In the mean time someone has to fill in for him at Morgendorffer Consulting. Quinn, with her marketing degree, volunteers as she is the most qualified. While in the process of moving back to Lawndale Quinn meets a young man named Jim Carbone. After a few dates they become a steady couple. Quinn proves to be so good at her new job that Morgendorffer Consulting is soon a booming business. Jim makes friends with Upchuck (who's now only known as Chuck) and Kevin, albeit grudgingly in the case of Kevin. Jim and Quinn soon fall in love. Quinn finds Sandi working as a checkout girl at Food Lord and learns that after graduation Sandi came out as a bisexual and was disowned by her family for it. She also discovers that Tiffany now works at Cashmans after a failed move to Hollywood. Quinn and Daria spend Thanksgiving at Grandma Emma's, where Quinn sees firsthand just how toxic Erin and Brian's marriage is. She offers to help Erin out if she ever decides to leave him. After hearing the story of Jake and Helen's early years as a couple Quinn and Jim admit to each other that they are in love. Erin eventually does file for divorce and comes to Quinn for help getting back on her feet. Quinn, whom has just been made Jake's business partner, gives Erin a job at Morgendorffer Consulting, which has been renamed Morgendorffer and Daughter Consulting. Emma tries to force Erin and Brian back together but eventually backs down in the face of opposition from not only Erin but also Quinn, Jim and Helen. After dating Quinn for a year Jim is offered a promotion that requires him to move to Tokyo, Japan. He accepts the job and breaks up with Quinn, leaving her devastated. He soon regrets his decision and quits his new job and returns to Lawndale. He and Quinn have a heartfelt reunion and move in together.

 **Season 3**

Season three opens with Jim looking for a new job while Jane asks Quinn to model for her. There's just one catch; Quinn will have to pose nude. She does it despite her misgivings. Jane makes the piece a social commentary. After this Jim gets a job as an auto mechanic. When Quinn discovers that Sandi is now stripping for a living the two have a heart to heart about what's been going on with Sandi in the years since high school and Sandi tells how during her first semester at community college she discovered she was bi when she fell in love with an attractive female classmate who was also bi. When Sandi came out to her parents she was immediately disowned. She has been alone ever since. Quinn then declares that she and their other friends will be Sandi's new family. Later, they all attend a costume party at Tom Sloan's house during a thunderstorm. At the party Sandi begins a romantic relationship with one of the three J's, Joey. A stray puppy crashes the party. Quinn and Jim decide to keep the dog and name him Storm. For Thanksgiving Quinn and Jim visit Jim's family on Long Island. Jim's father, Tony, doesn't even try to be nice to Quinn and she immediately sees parallels between Tony Carbone and her own grandfather, Mad Dog Morgendorffer. When a fight breaks out between Tony and Jim the couple decide to leave. During the holidays Quinn runs into Jeffy and the two catch up on their lives. It soon becomes apparent that Jeffy is stalking her and has been doing so for years. When Quinn calls him out on it he goes completely insane and tries to kill her. Jim stops him and Jeffy is arrested and eventually sent to a mental hospital. The experience leaves Quinn so rattled that she signs up for a martial arts class taught by Ms. Barch. Quinn soon develops an agressive streak that the others find unsettling. When she accedentally hits the dog she decides to seek professional help and quickly overcomes her issues and snaps back to normal. When Jake lectures the economics class at Lawndale high he accidentially gives the economics teacher a fatal heart attack. To make it up to the school Jake ropes Quinn into subbing until a replacement can be found. Quinn soon bonds with Alyssa, a student who reminds Quinn of her old self. Using her wisdom Quinn helps Alyssa avoid some of the mistakes that she had made at that age. Later, Jim tries his hand at stock car racing but quits after surviving a potentially fatal crash. Season 3 ends with Jim's parents visiting the Morgendorffers for memorial day. It turns out to be a disaster as Rita and Emma are there as well. When Jim is distraught about the situation Quinn reassures him that she doesn't care and she loves him anyway.

 **Are We There Yet?**

When a greatful client offers Quinn an all expenses paid trip to Europe she accepts. Quinn, Jim, Jake, Helen, Daria, Jane, Trent, Lindy, Sandi and Joey come along. The journey spans from London to Paris to Munich to Florence. In London Trent and Lindy grow close while Sandi and Joey have an awkward first night due to his having lost physical interest in her. Daria and Jane act like ugly Americans just for the fun of it. In Paris, Trent and Lindy officially hook up while Jim sneaks off and buys an engagement ring, planning to propose to Quinn in Florence. In Germany the guys plan a romantic surprise for the girls while Joey and Sandi accept that their relationship is over and break up. Joey flys back home. They visit the village of Morgendorf, the home of Jake's ancestors. They are chased out after Jake accedentally incites a lynch mob. When they are in Italy Jim starts to have doubts about proposing to Quinn as he feels unready to take that next step. The guys spring their surprise at a restaurant with a karaoke machine. Jim, Jake and Trent seranade Quinn, Helen and Lindy with a rendition of "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Asthley. Afterwards, Jim tells Quinn about the ring he bought but explains that while he loves her he isn't ready to make that commitment just yet. Quinn agrees that it's still too soon and they decide to keep things as they are. When they all get back to the US Lindy and Trent decide to continue seeing each other while Sandi agrees to go on a date with Tom Sloan.

 **Season 4**

This season begins with Daria and Jane being evicted from their apartment during the 2008 recession. Daria is forced to move back in with her parents.


	2. Return Of The Misery Chick

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme Song:** "Jersey Girl" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game at the shore next. We see Quinn calming down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Trent and Lindy. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"Return of the Misery Chick"**

 **written by**

 **WildDogJJ**

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

A now 25 year old Quinn seated at her vanity while a now fully grown Storm is laying next to her seat on the floor. Quinn is writing in her diary. As she writes...

 _August 5, 2008. Dear Diary, It's been a whole year since we had that trip to Europe, and what a year it's been. Jim and I are still together and still going strong. I can't believe he almost proposed to me. I probably would've said no for the same reason he decided not to ask, it was too soon. Still, we love each other and we're happy together. That's what counts._

She takes a sip of water before she resumes writing.

 _Speaking of relationships, Trent and Lindy are still going strong. They cyber date all the time and visit each other every chance they get. It's not so difficult since New York is only a two hour drive from Lawndale. Sandi and Tom, on the other hand, went nowhere. It only took one date for them to realize they were incompatable. As for the people in New York, Jane is still dating that archeologist, Alan, while Daria is still struggling to find a job. It doesn't help that we're in a recession. Even I'm feeling the effects of this one. Morgendorffer and Daughter keeps losing clients while Jim's hours at MacKenzie Automotive have been cut back to part-time, so money is a little tight right now. Jim started a YouTube channel about cars and has monetized it. That helps somewhat, though it'll need time to catch on before he can make enough to do that for a living. I worry about Daria. She entered the job market just as things were starting to go south. The current job market is so tight that no one has any chance of finding work right now. I know we didn't always have the best relationship growing up, but she is my sister and I can't help worrying about her. I hope she's okay. I told her she can come to me if she needs money, but I know she won't. She's too damn proud._

Quinn closes the book and gets up. Storm happily wags his tail, which Quinn notices.

She said "That's right, Storm. Mommy's gonna take you for your walk now."

With that, Quinn walks over to Storm's leash and attaches it to the dog's collar.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, in New York City...**

Daria and Jane are in the mail room of their apartment building. They make small talk while Jane checks their PO box.

Jane said "...so my latest piece remains unsold."

Unemotional as usual, Daria said "You mean to tell me that no gallery was interested."

"Oh, they were interested. They just didn't wanna pay for it. But, enough about me. How was your day?"

Daria said "Boring. There's no greater tedium than looking for a job during a recession. I would've checked the want ads but I haven't seen a help wanted ad in the paper in months. I see a lot of "not hiring" signs, though."

Jane opens the PO box and goes through the mail.

"Let's see...final notice...notice of late fee...letter from collection agency...subpoena, I'm being sued for credit default...again...bill, which we can't afford to pay."

Daria dryly remarked "In other words, the usual."

Jane said "Pretty much. That's what it's like for an unemployed PhD holder and starving artist these days."

"Damn recession."

They now proceed up the stairs to their second floor apartment. They continue talking as they walk.

Jane said "It was nice of our landlord to let us slide on the rent for the last few months."

Daria said "Well, I'm sure he wants a sexual favor from one of us. If we were guys we would've been evicted by now."

Sarcastic, Jane said "You always see the bright side, don't you."

They approach the door to their apartment. Once there they see a note taped to the door. Jane takes the note down. Both her and Daria's eyes go wide as they read it.

"Eviction notice!?"

* * *

 **A short time later...**

Daria and Jane are seated on the couch and are nervous. No money, no chance of getting a job because of the recession and now they are about to become homeless.

Daria said "You said he was letting us slide on the rent."

Jane said "I thought he was. I guess he ran out of patience."

Daria looks at the eviction notice.

"It says we have one week to pack up and leave. There's just one problem: where to go. If we can't afford this dump then we can't afford anyplace else either."

Jane said "Let's not start looking at homeless shelters just yet. My boyfriend, Alan, thinks we're at the point of living together and, in light of this development, I don't disagree."

Daria commented "Okay, you have an archaeologist boyfriend that you can mooch off of."

"If we Lanes are good at anything, it's mooching. Just ask Trent."

"That doesn't solve my dilemma. You have a sugar daddy, I don't."

Jane smirks as she can't resist an opportunity to tease Daria about her high school crush on Trent.

"You can move in with Trent. Your old high school dream come true. It could be very romantic."

Daria gives Jane a hostile look.

Jane said "Sorry, couldn't resist. Still, he wouldn't mind taking you in. You're as much a sister to him as I am."

Daria said "If only he wasn't already sharing a place with his bandmates. Not to mention frequent visits from Lindy. It could get pretty crowded."

Jane scratches her chin in thought.

"Yes, that is a predicament. I guess it'll have to be the homeless shelter for you."

Daria frowns.

"There is one other option. I'm gonna have to make the supreme sacrifice."

Jane's eyes go wide.

"You don't mean...?"

Daria has an even more dreadful frown.

"Yes, I'm moving back to..." She shudders, "...Lawndale."

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

 **Music:** "Who Says You Can't Go Back" by Bon Jovi

Quinn and Jim are having dinner and talking about their day.

Jim said "...so now Mack is seriously considering downsizing. This has me especially worried."

Quinn immediately tries to reassure her boyfriend by saying "Don't worry, Jim. So you're hours were cut to part time. It doesn't mean he'll throw you under the bus."

Jim appreciates her attempt to see the bright side. Nevertheless, there is the prospect of being unemployed at a time when finding a job is impossible.

Jim explained "If things keep on like this he might have no choice. But enough about me, how was your day?"

Quinn's smile vanishes instantly.

"I lost another client."

Now, Jim looks especially grim. The phone rings.

Quinn said "I'll get it."

She gets up and answers the phone.

"Hello...Hi, sis."

From her end of the line, Daria said "Hey, Quinn. I have a problem."

Quinn notes the tone in Daria's voice and is worried.

Concerned, she asked her sister "What's wrong?"

Daria explained "Jane and I are being evicted from our apartment. He have to be out by the end of the week."

With genuine concern, Quinn said "Daria, that's terrible. I'm so sorry."

Daria went on "It gets worse. Jane is moving in with her boyfriend. Since I don't have that option, I'm moving back to Lawndale."

Quinn couldn't help but feel a little happy about that. Even though she and Daria have kept in touch over the years it would be nice to have her sister closer to home. They could spend more time together.

"Do Mom and Dad know?"

Daria deadpanned "Have you heard anyone explode?"

Quinn understands this to mean "no".

Daria said "I'm calling them next. I wanted to tell you first as a practice run. I'm afraid they'll accuse me of being lazy when I tell them that I have to move back in with them."

Quinn reassured her and said "Daria, you couldn't find a job because of the recession. They'll understand that."

Daria explains her doubts.

"Mom won't. She believes ambition and hard work are enough. She might think she's rewarding laziness by taking me in."

Quinn said "You know that's not true. It's not your fault that you're in this situation. Mom and Dad will take you in, I know it. You're family, after all. But if I'm wrong you're more than welcome to stay with me and Jim."

"Thanks. But space might be tight given that you two live in a one bedroom apartment. Also, aren't you and Jim having some financial trouble of your own?"

"Still, you're my sister. I won't turn you away."

* * *

 **Chuck and Stacy's house, evening...**

Stacy is in the upstairs bathroom looking at a strip that she'd peed on with great interest. Thoughts race through her head.

 _It says to wait five minutes. I've been nauseous lately and my period was supposed to start four days ago. Has the year of almost nightly sex finally paid off?_

Stacy looks at her watch.

 _This is it._

She takes a look at the pregnancy test and gasps.

From downstairs her husband, Charles Ruttheimer III, can be heard calling out to her.

"Stacy, I'm home my ever so lovely wife."

* * *

Later on Chuck and Stacy are at the kitchen table having dinner and talking about their day.

Stacy said "...so after we wrapped I decided to take the rest of the day off. How was your day?"

Chuck looks very worried as he explains "I went over the quarterly earnings. Feisty IT suffered it's first loss since 2001 last quarter."

Stacy is immediately sympathetic.

"Chuck, I'm sorry."

Chuck sighs as he says "I think we should table the whole idea of having a kid for now. With the way things are going I don't think it's financially feasible right now. My business is starting to go downhill."

Stacy said "Don't worry. We've lived pretty modest for our means. I know you have money saved up and my paycheck can be stretched to cover the cost of having and raising a child."

Unconvinced, Chuck said "Look, I just would be more comfortable if we waited until the future of Feisty was more certain. You said if I changed my mind about children you'd respect that. I mean, what if bringing a child into this world just condemns said child to poverty? It would almost be cruel for us to have children now. Anyway, I just don't think now is a good time anymore." He now clearly wants to change the subject. "Anything else happen today?"

Stacy now looks very awkward.

"I'm pregnant."

Both of his eyes go wide.

* * *

 **Chuck and Stacy's house, evening...**

 **Music:** "Everything She Wants" by Wham!

Stacy has just dropped a bombshell on her husband: She's pregnant.

Wide eyed, Chuck said "You're pregnant!? How in the hell did you get pregnant!?"

Stacy rolls her eyes, saying "Duh, I went off of the pill six months ago because we decided we were ready for kids, remember? We've been having unprotected sex on an almost nightly basis since then."

Chuck calms down as he realizes just how stupid his question was.

"I'm sorry, it's just a shock. I find out that you're pregnant immediately after changing my mind about having kids."

Stacy now looks concerned.

"Chuck, did you mean what you said before? About it being selfish and cruel to have a child now?"

Chuck said "I meant it at the time."

Stacy looks taken aback.

"You said it less than one minute ago!"

"Yes, but look at the facts, my company could go under and that will affect my ability to take care of you."

Stacy, with growing frustration, said "And I told you my paycheck can be stretched to cover us and a child if that happens. Just because the economy's in the toilet right now and Feisty IT had a bad quarter doesn't mean your company's about to go under. Even if it does my job as a reporter is secure. I make enough money to provide for both of us."

Chuck looks as if he's just had his self esteem completely destroyed. Even though his wife means well it still felt very emasculating to hear what she just said to him.

"But I'm a man. Providing for a family is my responsibility."

Stacy throws her arms up and lets out a frustrated sigh. Talking to her husband was starting to feel like talking to a brick wall.

With even more frustration in her voice, she said "This isn't the fifties, Chuck. There's no shame in a woman being the breadwinner or the man being a stay at home dad, and it's not like we're in that situation to begin with. You're over thinking things again."

Now nervous, Chuck said "I'm probably gonna get in serious trouble for this, but...um...well...you see...maybe...abortion?"

This gets him an immediate death stare from his wife.

In a deadly serious tone, Stacy hissed "How dare you say that to me!"

Chuck looks terrified.

"B-but, I thought you were pro-choice?"

Now angry, Stacy said "Yes, and my choice is to have this baby!"

Chuck is now so nervous that he's unable to form a complete sentence.

"But...but...money...need...money...kid...cost...money..."

Stacy angrily cuts him off and said "Look, we'd already decided to have kids. We've been trying to concieve for six months now and when we succeed you get cold feet. You decide you're not ready for kids after you've already knocked me up. News flash, buster: TOO DAMN LATE!"

Chuck is now terrified.

"B-but...but..."

Stacy got right in his face and proceeded to unload on him.

"Look, you chickening out doesn't change the fact that I'm pregnant and I'm having this baby. I need you to be loving and supportive now more than ever and you want me to get an abortion!? SCREW YOU!"

Stacy storms off in a huff. Chuck looks resigned.

 _Looks like I'm sleeping on the couch tonight._

* * *

 **Morgendorffer house, day...**

Daria is back in her old room in Lawndale. Quinn is helping her unpack while Jim is hooking up her computer. The room still has the padded walls and barred windows.

Jim said "This has to be the coolest room I've ever seen. It's like a comment on society in general."

Daria smiles when she hears this. Next, she turns her attention to Quinn.

"And you used to think this room was geeky."

Quinn said "Don't remind me. I actually thought it was scary. Being a shallow girl was my defense mechanism back then."

Daria turned to Jim and said "By the way, Jim, thanks for driving the van with all of my stuff."

Shrugging, Jim said "No problem. I mean, that's what us guys are for."

At this point, Jake and Helen enter. Jake is absolutely thrilled to have Daria back at home while Helen is visibly displeased.

Jake hugged Daria and said "Welcome home, kiddo!"

Helen says nothing but shoots Jake an angry look.

"EEP!"

Jake releases his eldest daughter and steps away. Helen turns her attention to Jim.

"It was nice of you to rent the van and haul the furniture. You understand the value of work." She turns her attention to Daria, "Unlike SOME people."

There's now a tense silence. One could hear a pin drop. Jim is the first to speak.

"Um, I think I'll just go to the living room and watch some TV."

Desperate for an escape, Jake said "I'll join you."

Helen gives her husband a death stare.

"You'll do no such thing, Jake. As for you, Jim, I think it would be best if you let the family talk in private."

The harsh tone prompts Jim to leave the room in an uncomfortable hurry. Once he's gone Helen turns her full wrath on Daria and gets right in her face.

With stern authority, Helen said "Young lady, I am very disappointed in you. You clearly haven't been trying to get a job and now you come back here to mooch off of your father and I. I should charge you rent."

Sarcastic, Daria said "Nice to see you too, Mom."

Helen hissed "Don't you dare sass me. Just admit that you're lazy and selfish."

Quinn immediately springs to her sister's defense.

"Hey! That's not fair. She has been trying but it's hard to get a job when there's a recession going on. It's not her fault that she's unemployed."

Helen said "Don't give me that crap. I got a job straight out of law school and that was during the era of stagflation. Daria, if you really wanted a job you would've gotten one, but no, you chose to be lazy and apathetic instead."

Jake chimes in.

"Um, Actually, Helen, I think Daria has been trying but in this economy..."

Furious, Helen shouted "DON'T YOU DARE CONTRADICT ME, JAKE!"

"EEP!"

Trying to keep her cool, Daria explained "Mom, I have been trying. You seem to think it's easy but it's not. The last thing I wanted was to move back here. I'm only doing it because it's either that or the homeless shelter."

Determined to win this argument, Helen lays down an ultimatum. She said "You have one month to get a job. If you don't then I suggest you go to the homeless shelter with all of the other bums. I put a lot of money into your education and now it's all wasted. Look at Quinn. She has strong work ethic, that's why she's co-owner of your father's business."

Quinn said "Muh-om, we're losing clients left and right despite our best efforts. They all increasingly view us as an unnecessary expense."

Helen is now way to far into "alpha mode" to listen to reason.

"Be that as it may, at least you try. Daria, on the other hand, lets her anti-social mask hold her back. The recession is just an excuse."

After a sarcastic "Such a warm welcome.", Daria tries to explain "Look, Mom, I did try. It's not my fault. I need help and instead I get criticized and insulted." Her tone grows increasingly angry. "You make a demand and set an unrealistic time table. You even compare me unfavorably to your favorite daughter. Just like Grandma Emma. I guess the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree."

Helen is now totally insensed.

"WELL, I NEVER! YOU'RE GROUNDED!"

With that, Helen storms out of the room. Daria frowns while Quinn is visibly frustrated.

* * *

 **A street in Lawndale, later that day...**

 **Music:** "The Warrior" by Disturbed

Jim's Camaro going down the street. Inside the car, Jim is driving while a very angry Quinn is in the passenger seat.

Quinn said "I can't believe how unreasonable Mom's being! Where the hell does she get the nerve, anyway!?"

Jim said "I can sort of understand where she's coming from."

Quinn immediately turns her wrath on her boyfriend.

"WHAT!? JIM, WHAT THE F*&# IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"

Jim looks terrified.

"EEP!"

His frightened reaction causes Quinn to immediately calm down.

"Jim, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just really upset."

Jim said "Don't worry, I get it. As for your mom, I think she sees Daria's unemployment as a sign that she failed as a parent. She also doesn't understand your sister's position because she's never been in it herself. You could try to reason with her once cooler heads prevail."

Quinn is dismissive.

"Jim, my mother's one of the most stubborn people in the world. She's too damn proud to admit when she's wrong."

At this point they turn into their apartment complex and are surprised to find someone waiting for them. That someone is Chuck Ruttheimer, and he looks down. They park the car and walk up to him.

Jim said "Chuck, what are you doing here?"

Chuck explained "I need to talk to you guys."

Quinn asked "Where's Stacy?"

Chuck said "That's what I need to talk to you about. Stacy and I are having problems."

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, a short time later...**

Chuck, Quinn and Jim are seated at the kitchen table. Chuck is telling them about the situation.

"...so now I'm having second thoughts about kids but it's too late. Stacy's pregnant."

Jim said "You had one bad quarter. It doesn't mean your company's about to go under."

Anxious, Chuck said "But what if it does? I don't want the burden of providing to fall on my wife. It's emasculating."

Jim now looks thoughtful.

Quinn said "Chuck, you're over reacting. Your business just had a bad quarter, that's all. And what's with this whole provider trip, anyway?"

Chuck explained "Because if I can't provide for my family then what good am I?"

Quinn rolled her eyes as she thought _Boy, guys can be sooo dense about this stuff._

Out loud, she explained "Chuck, this isn't about who provides and who takes care of home. You and Stacy are supposed to be a team. If you're in a financial bad spot she helps you out because you'd do the same for her. I think the real problem is that you're scared. You're afraid you won't be a good parent despite your best efforts."

Chuck said "Easy for you to say. You and Jim aren't about to be responsible for the well being of another human being. I'm scared that I won't measure up."

Just then, there's a knock on the door.

Jim said "I'll get it."

He answers the door and is surprised to see Daria with a suitcase.

She said "Mom threw me out."

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, a few minutes later...**

Chuck, Jim, Quinn and Daria are seated around the kitchen table. Daria managed to get herself kicked out of home.

Shocked, Quinn asked "Daria, what happened?"

Daria explained "I tried to persuade Mom to make the job expectations more realistic but she wouldn't budge. We both lost our tempers and she told me to get out of her house, so that's what I did."

Quinn is now visibly furious.

"That's it! As soon as we're squared away with Chuck we're going over there and I'm talking some sense into her."

Daria turns her attention to Chuck.

"What's going on with you, Upchuck...I mean Chuck?"

Chuck doesn't take offense at being called by his old nickname. He explains "A few months ago Stacy and I stopped using birth control because we decided to have kids. Now she's pregnant but I'm having second thoughts. We've been fighting about it nonstop since then. She doesn't seem to understand that the recession has me worried about my ability to provide. If Feisty IT goes under how will I take care of her when she's nine months pregnant?"

Daria said "She's a TV news reporter. I think she makes enough money to do it herself."

Feeling his self esteem plummet all that much more, Chuck said "But I'm the man. I'm the one who's supposed to provide."

Quinn said "Chuck, you really don't get it, do you? You and Stacy are a team. You need to work out this issue."

Daria said "Granted, none of my relationships lasted more than a year so I'm no expert, but I think you need to talk this out with her. Explain where you're coming from and why you're having misgivings. Another thing is to stop thinking how it should be and try to do what works for you and Stacy instead. If it doesn't conform to a set ideal and people judge you for it then screw them. It's your and Stacy's life, do what works for you two."

Chuck has a look of realization on his face.

"You're right." he said, "I should stop worrying about the what ifs and focus of the what is. Stacy is pregnant, my company is losing business. That has yet to result in me being without a job but if it comes to that we'll deal with it then."

Quinn thought _Now he gets it._ before she said "Remember, if you need it there's no shame in turning to us for help."

Chuck said "Thanks. I'd best get going. The sooner Stacy and I make up the better."

With that he leaves. Once he's gone, Quinn said "Daria, let's pay Mom a visit. Jim, you don't mind taking Storm for his walk, do you?"

"Not at all."

He gets up from his seat.

"Hey, Storm, it's time for your walk."

The dog runs up to Jim and happily wags his tail.

* * *

 **Morgendorffer House, evening...**

Quinn and Daria are walking up to the front door. Quinn has a look of fierce determination on her face as she rings the bell. Helen answers.

"Quinn, Daria!?"

Angry, Quinn said "Mom, we need to talk."

Helen is surprisingly humble.

"Yes, we do."

Helen leads them to the living room. Jake is sitting on the couch while the rest of the family joins him.

Helen explained "Your father and I have been discussing things and he made me realize that I was being unreasonable. I just figured that an advanced degree would open doors for you because that's what it did for me. I forgot that that wasn't really the case for me either."

Jake said "I reminded her that the reason she took that job in Highland was because it was the only one she could get. The economy was pretty bad in the late seventies and early eighties, too."

Helen added "When we got to Highland it took your father nearly six months to find a job and he was laid off a year later."

Somewhat disbelieving, Daria said "I see. Yet you decided to have children."

A little embarrassed, Helen said "Actually, you were conceived as a result of our celebrating his finding another job after eight months of looking."

Scrunching her nose, Quinn said "Ewwww! We didn't need to know that."

Daria agreed. "Too much information, Mom."

Helen now looks a little sheepish.

Jake said "I was laid off again in 1982. That one was especially stressful because by then we not only had you, Daria, but your mother was pregnant again."

Helen said "By the time you were born in 1983, Quinn, the economy had turned around and your father had another job, which he hated."

Jake now looks angry.

"Fourteen years of abuse by that mini Mussolini who never ONCE..."

Concerned, Quinn said "Dad, your heart!"

This snaps Jake out of his impending rant.

"Thanks, sweetie."

Helen said "The point is that I'd forgotten how hard it is to start a career in a bad economy but now that I'm reminded I'd like to apologize. Daria, you're my daughter and you'll always be welcome here, even if you never get a job."

" Thanks, Mom. Just know that if I don't get a job it's not for lack of trying."

Daria and Helen hug. Pleased, Quinn thought _Well, that went a lot better than expected. I hope Chuck has the same luck making up with Stacy._

* * *

 **Chuck and Stacy's house, evening...**

 **Music:** "When You're Gone" by Avril Lavigne

In the living room, Chuck is calmly explaining his concerns to Stacy.

"...so I was worried about my ability to measure up as a husband and father if we wind up in a situation where I can't contribute financially. When you told me you were pregnant I panicked and just started blurting out a bunch of asinine BS. I'm sorry."

Stacy puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder. She said "It's okay, Chuck. It doesn't matter who makes the bigger financial contribution. My salary isn't my money, it's our money. Why do you think all of the bank accounts are in both of our names? If you can't contribute as much because business is slow that's okay."

Chuck said "I have to admit I was also second guessing my own judgment. That loss last quarter had me really rattled. If I'm not as good a businessman as I thought then maybe I'm not as good a husband and potential father as I thought either."

"It's okay." Stacy reassured him, "You had a bad quarter, that's all. That's to be expected in a recession. Besides, there are other ways to contribute. Ways that are more important than money."

Chuck looks curious.

"Such as?"

Stacy has a playful smile.

"You won't be as grossed out by the dirty diapers."

They both laugh. After this, she gets very affectionate.

Stacy said "Tell you what, stud, since I'm already pregnant why don't we have a little...", her voice takes on a sultry tone, "...fun. As in no clothes allowed fun."

Chuck perks up.

"You mean...?"

With a sultry smile, Stacy said "Yep. A night of hot make up sex."

"Grrrr, feisty!"

They start to take off their clothes.

* * *

 **Morgendorffer house, evening...**

 **Music:** "Big Yellow Taxi" covered by Counting Crows

Daria is sitting on her bed looking at a picture. It's a picture of her and Jane. Daria can't help being very sad.

"Daria."

Daria looks up and sees Quinn standing there looking concerned.

Quinn said "You look really down. What's wrong?"

With a sigh, Daria said "I just can't believe how it all turned out. I thought I'd be fully self sufficient by now. Instead I find myself right back where I started."

Quinn sits down on the bed next to her sister and asks "Is that really so bad?"

Daria said "I'm used to it being me and Jane against the world. I just can't accept the fact that I'm alone again."

Quinn puts an arm around Daria and says "You're not alone, sis. Jane's still your friend. She only lives two hours away. Even if the distance causes you two to drift apart, which I doubt, you'll always have me."

Noting the irony of this moment given what they were like growing up, Daria said "You used to claim to be an only child out of embarrassment, now you constantly try to be my best friend."

Quinn winces slightly. Even after all these years she still feels guilty about shunning Daria in public when they were kids.

"About the whole cousin thing, Daria, if I could take that all back I would."

"I know, Quinn. I guess after eight years this place just doesn't feel like home anymore."

Quinn said "Daria, home is wherever you're surrounded by people who care about you. Any place where I have a loved one is home to me. You're my sister. I probably don't say it enough, but I love you."

Daria smiles.

"I love you too, Quinn."

With that, the two sisters hug.

* * *

 **Next Time**

Jim loses his job and his self esteem.


	3. The Emasculation of Jim Carbone

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme Song:** "Jersey Girl" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game at the shore next. We see Quinn calming down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Trent and Lindy. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"The Emasculation of Jim Carbone"**

 **written by**

 **WildDogJJ**

 **Quinn's office at Morgendorffer and Daughter Consulting, day...**

Quinn is seated behind her desk meeting with a prospective client. The client is a handsome man in his early forties. He has slicked back dark hair, a chisled face and a perfectly slender build and wears a nice business suit. Something about him makes Quinn uncomfortable, however.

"So, Mr. DeAngelis, what is your business?"

Mr. DeAngelis explained "It's a dating site."

Quinn said "You mean like Match or EHarmony?"

Smirking, Mr. DeAngelis said "Not exactly. We cater to a specific kind, people who are already in a relationship and looking to get some side action. It's called StepOut. We basically help people who want to cheat on their significant other find someone to do it with."

Quinn now looks very uncomfortable. After taking a deep breath she said "I have to be honest. I'm not sure I should take you on as a client. I'd feel like a home wrecker."

Mr. DeAngelis grins. Clearly, he'd anticipated such a reaction. He said "I hope I'm not overstepping but are you in a relationship?"

Quinn said "Yes. My boyfriend and I share an apartment."

"And how long have you been together?"

Quinn looks really uncomfortable discussing her personal life with someone she's just met. _Might as well humor him._ she thought as she said "Three years".

Mr. DeAngelis explained "So you're still new to each other. Trust me, eventually one of you will want to stray. Maybe you, maybe him. My site caters to that. Many people stray, enough for this to be a profitable venture."

Quinn decided not to mention the time Jim successfully resisted another woman's attempt to seduce him. She thought _Well, we have been losing clients so we definitely need the money._ She made her decision. "Well, it's against my own moral judgement, but I'll take you on as a client."

Mr. DeAngelis grins.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, at MacKenzie Automotive...**

Mack is in his office seated behind his desk. The desk and office used to be his father's but his father has since retired and left Mack in charge of the business, which has not been doing well due to the recession. He's going over some documents and frowns.

 _I don't want to do this. I was worried this day would come. All those dedicated people I have to let go. I wish there was another way, but the numbers just don't agree with me._

Later on in the employee lounge a bunch of people are looking very anxious. Jim comes in and immediately notices the tension. He walks up to one of his colleges, a blonde receptionist who happens to be named Jennifer Burns, but was known in high school as Burnout Girl.

Jim asked "What's going on, Jen?"

Jennifer said "Mack was going over the earnings and realized that we can't afford to keep going at our current size."

Jim now looks very worried.

"You mean...?"

"Yes, cutbacks. He's laid off three people already."

Just then...

Male voice: (from Mack's office) "WHAT!? YOU'RE LETTING ME GO!?"

Jennifer said "Sounds like another casualty."

Just then, the door to Mack's office violently swings open. A man in his late fifties with a blad spot and a beer gut angrily storms out. His name is Vinnie Moreno. Vinnie shouted "I'VE BEEN HERE SINCE YOUR DAD FIRST OPENED THIS PLACE AND NOW YOU'RE JUST TOSSING ME OUT ON MY ASS! YOU UNGRATEFUL SONOFABITCH!"

With genuine sorrow, Mack explained "Vinnie, I'm sorry. I don't wanna do this, I have to."

Vinnie snapped "SHOVE YOUR APOLOGY UP YOUR ASS!" as he stormed out of the place. He knocked over a can of soda for good measure.

Seeing this, Jim thought _Oh, man! This place must really be bleeding if he's letting go of old stalwarts like Vinnie. How much worse can it get?_

Mack is standing at the door to his office with a very depressed frown on his face.

"Jim, could I see you in my office? We...we need to talk."

Jim gasps in horror. It's obvious who's getting the ax next.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, that evening...**

 **Music:** "You Spin Me Round" by Flo Rida

Quinn and Jim are having dinner and talking about their day. Quinn said "...so despite my misgivings I took him on as a client because, frankly, we need the money."

Jim says nothing. He just stares at his food and sighs.

Quinn, noticing this, asked "Honey, what's wrong?"

Jim said "I got laid off today."

Quinn is immediately sympathetic.

"Jim, I'm so sorry. Now I actually feel bad about landing a new client."

With bitterness in his voice, Jim said "Yeah, you get a client who profits from the infidelity of others while I just lost my ability to financially contribute. How sorry can you be?"

Quinn is taken aback.

"That's not fair! I'm on your side, remember?"

Jim, feeling emasculated by his job loss, said "Why? You have a job and I don't. How can you be with someone who can't provide? I'm useless now."

Trying to reassure him, Quinn said "Jim, you're not useless. What happened to you can happen to anyone. It..."

Before she can continue the phone rings.

Quinn said "I'll get it."

She gets up and answers the phone.

"Hello." She suddenly looks like she wants to hit something and her voice takes on a hostile tone, "...I see...Yes, he's here."

She hands the phone to Jim. In an annoyed tone Quinn said "It's your father."

Jim takes the phone. He said "Hi, Dad. What's going on?"

On the other end of the line, Tony Carbone said "I wanted to catch up. I see you're still with that little slut."

Now angry, Jim said "I told you not to insult my girlfriend, Dad."

In a menacing tone, Tony said "And what are you gonna do about it? I'll call her whatever I want and if you don't take it we're gonna have a problem. A big one. Do we understand each other, boy?"

Jim takes a deep breath to calm himself down.

"Yes."

Tony asked "So, how are things?"

Jim said "I was laid off today while Quinn got a new client."

In a very condescending tone Tony said "So now she's the man instead of you. Why am I not surprised? You realize she won't respect you now, not that she did before. You always were an easily whipped pansy."

Jim sarcastically replied "Way to make me feel better, Dad."

Tony said "Don't be so goddamn sensitive. I'm trying to toughen you up. Lemme tell you something, when a woman likes a man it's because he provides well for her. Since you've lost the ability to do that she will soon stop seeing you as a man and start seeing you as a useless burden. How long do you think it'll be before she realizes she's better off without you and dumps your ass? Or maybe she'll keep you around since you're so whipped and just cheat on you with a real man."

Jim now looks very insecure.

"Um, Dad...I...I gotta go. Tell Mom I said hi."

"I will." said Tony, "Remember what I said, 'cause it's a truth as old as time."

They both hang up. Jim sits back at the table and looks totally dejected, which Quinn notices.

"Jim, what's wrong? Did he say something?"

Jim can't even look her in the eye. In a snippy tone he said "I don't wanna talk about it!"

Now it's Quinn who looks dejected.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's bedroom, late that night...**

Storm is sleeping in a doggie basket while Quinn sleeps soundly in the bed. Jim, on the other hand, is laying awake. He's clearly too worried to sleep.

 _What if he's right? In this economy I have no chance of finding another job. I'll still try, but it looks like we'll be living on Quinn's income for the foreseeable future. She may end up resenting that. Why be with a man when you have to carry his weight? What if she decides to leave me? What if having StepOut as a client gets her thinking cheating is a good idea since I'm no longer man enough?_

Jim gets out of bed and goes to the kitchen for a drink. In the kitchen he sees Quinn's purse with some of it's contents spilled out on the table. Out of curiosity, Jim walks over to the table and puts the purse upright. As he does something catches his eye. That something is a check.

 _What's this?_

He picks the check up and looks at it.

 _It's from StepOut. Must be the consulting fee. I wonder how much she made._

Jim looks closer. Jim gasps when he sees the amount.

 _That's a lot of money! It's official, Quinn has no use for me._

Jim puts the check back in Quinn's purse and has a look of pure shame on his face. He lays on the couch and tries to fall asleep. The job loss followed by the conversation with his father and now seeing how much Quinn makes have left him feeling as if his manhood has just been revoked.

 _She deserves better than me._

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, the following morning...**

In the bedroom Quinn wakes up and yawns. She rubs the sleep out of her eyes and looks to the other side of the bed. She's visibly surprised to see that Jim isn't there.

 _Where is he?_

Quinn comes out of the bedroom and enters the living room/kitchen. She is surprised to see Jim sleeping on the couch. She walks up to him and shakes him awake.

"Jim? Jim, wake up."

Jim stirs. When he wakes up he sees a very concerned Quinn standing over him. She asked "Jim, why are you sleeping on the couch?"

Jim sits up but says nothing. Quinn sits down next to him and is visibly concerned.

"Jim, is something wrong?"

Jim said "I couldn't sleep last night. I came out for a shot of liquor because I figured maybe it'd help and..."Jim decides not to tell her the rest, "...never mind. I just fell asleep on the couch."

Sensing that there's more to the story, Quinn asked "But why?"

 **"** Because..." Jim knows that she's trying to help, but he's too ashamed to let her. "Forget it. It's no big deal."

Undeterred, Quinn said "Jim, please talk to me. If something's wrong I wanna help."

Losing his patience, Jim said "Just forget it. I fell asleep on the couch, end of story."

Quinn said "Jim, are you upset about losing your job? I understand and I know it's impossible to find another job right now. If you're worried about money don't be. I still make enough to cover the bills."

Jim looks like he was stabbed in the gut and feels like he was just castrated. He said "I don't wanna talk about it."

Not one to give up, Quinn said "Jim, you've been acting weird since yesterday evening. Did your father say something that upset you?"

Now, Jim's angry.

"I SAID DROP IT!"

Quinn is taken aback.

"HEY, don't yell at me! I didn't do anything except try to help you."

Jim gets up and walks away from her. He turns around. In an angry tone, he said "Look, Quinn, I said I don't wanna talk about it and I don't wanna talk about it. I don't even wanna think about it."

"Jim, please calm down. I'm trying to help you."

Jim gets right in her face.

"I DON'T NEED HELP!" Seeing Quinn flinch causes Jim to calm down. He said "Just leave me alone."

He storms into the bathroom. Quinn looks both hurt and annoyed.

* * *

 **Pizza King, day...**

 **Music:** "Boom, Boom, Boom" by the Black Eyed Peas

Quinn and Daria are having pizza and talking. While it's a teen hang out the sisters like the familiarity. Quinn is telling Daria what's going on.

"...and when I tried to get him to tell me what's bothering him he yelled at me. He gave me the silent treatment after that."

Daria said "Sounds like Mom and Dad. I'm guessing this has just as much to do with Jim's father as it does with his now being unemployed."

Quinn said "That's what I think. I wish I could read his mind and get at what's bothering him."

Daria briefly looks thoughtful. Finally, she said "Well, it sounds to me like he was already bummed about losing his job. His father must have told him something that really upset him. I wouldn't be surprised since by your account Jim's father is a super jerk."

Quinn said "God, is that ever an understatement. Makes me glad Grandpa Mad Dog died before we were born."

"You and me both."

Daria takes a sip of her soda before continuing. _She said "I think Jim is having a crises of confidence. Losing a job is always a huge blow to ones self esteem in and of itself. Add to that a phone call that same day where you get berated by one of your parents. His father probably said something that made him feel even more insecure than he already did. I don't know anyone who's so well adjusted that back to back blows to their self esteem don't mess them up."_

Quinn asked "So, what should I do?"

Daria said "I'm no expert on long term relationships, but I think you could try doing something to cheer him up. Take his mind off of things and give him a confidence boost. I assume he'd do the same for you if the situation were reversed."

"He would, it's one of the reasons I love him."

Quinn seems to get an idea. Suddenly, her cell phone goes off. Quinn looks at the number.

"I've gotta take this. It's a client."

She answers.

"Hello...Hi, Mr. DeAngelis...You want to go over the marketing strategy...Over dinner?...At Chez Pierre?..."Quinn visibly has misgivings, but since she needs the money she goes along anyway, "...Okay, how does tonight sound?...I'll be there...No, it's a business meeting, not a date...bye."

Quinn hangs up and looks a little annoyed.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Quinn is at her vanity doing her makeup. She's dressed up like she's getting ready to go on a date. Jim comes in and is clearly not happy.

"Did we have a date tonight or am I hallucinating?"

Quinn said "I'm meeting with a client at Chez Pierre."

Jim now looks worried. He immediately recalls what his father said _"How long do you think it'll be before she realizes she better off without you and dumps your ass? Or maybe she'll keep you around since you're so whipped and just cheat on you with a real man."_ This gets him thinking _It's_ _happening sooner than I expected._

Quinn said "You know, you can come along if you want."

Jim, mistaking his girlfriends offer for an act of pity, bitterly said "No. I won't stop you from two timing me."

Quinn gets angry.

"Dammit, Jim, it's not a date. I'm meeting with a client to discuss marketing and you're welcome to come along."

In an accusing tone, Jim said "And is this client the guy who runs StepOut ?"

"Yes, so what? It's strictly business."

Snidely, Jim said "Until he takes you to the hotel room for sex, you mean."

Quinn gets right in Jim's face.

"HOW DARE YOU! YOU THINK I'M CHEATING ON YOU!?"

"No, but I know you want too."

Unable to contain her frustration, Quinn shouted "WHAT THE F#&% IS WRONG WITH YOU!? I DON'T WANT TO STEP OUT ON YOU WITH ANOTHER MAN! IF I DID WANT TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT I'D TELL YOU SO WE CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT'S MAKING ME WANT TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!," She takes a few deep breaths to calm herself down, "Look, Jim, I don't know where this is coming from, but I know it's because of what your father said to you last night. Let me be clear: I will never, EVER, cheat on you."

Jim clearly doesn't believe her. Rather than continue the discussion, he reaches for his car keys.

Quinn asked "Jim, where are you going?"

"The Liquid Dinner. Enjoy making me a cuckold."

With that, he storms out of the apartment. Quinn immediately goes from being angry to being very concerned.

* * *

 **Chez Pierre, evening...**

 **Music:** "Baby Boy" by Beyonce

Quinn and Mr. DeAngelis are having dinner and talking business. Quinn looks a little distracted.

Mr. DeAngelis said "So I figured a good slogan would be "When Monogamy Gets Old". What do you think?"

Quinn looks like she's a million miles away.

"Hello? You awake?"

Quinn snaps out of her daydreaming. She increasingly feels that she should've insisted that Jim come along.

"Sorry, Mr. DeAngelis. I was a little distracted."

Mr. DeAngelis said "Call me Michael, Quinn."

That makes Quinn visibly uncomfortable.

Mr. DeAngelis asked "Is something wrong?"

Feeling that it's inappropriate to answer such a question, Quinn just said "Personal stuff."

Seeing an opportunity, Mr. DeAngelis said "Would you like to talk about it?"

This makes Quinn even more uncomfortable as it seems more and more like he's trying to get in her pants. She said "If you don't mind I'd rather we stuck to business. What was the slogan?"

Mr. DeAngelis thought _It can wait until we're having passionate sex._ as he said "The slogan was "When Monogamy Gets Old"".

Quinn said "I think it's too generic." while thinking _And no way are you getting in my pants._

Mr. DeAngelis asked "What do you suggest?"

"How about "For When Monogamy Becomes Monotony"?"

He smiles warmly.

"I like it."

Quinn goes into marketing mode. She said "Another idea would be to advertise how it feels good to be bad. I've done some research and it seems that a big draw for cheaters is the adrenaline rush that comes from doing something wrong."

Mr. DeAngelis said "Makes sense. Are you sure you don't want to tell me what's bothering you? You might be able to stay on topic after getting it off of your chest."

Quinn looks awkward. She rightly suspects an attempt to seduce her.

* * *

 **Chez Pierre, evening...**

Quinn and Mr. DeAngelis are seated at the table. Quinn is visibly uncomfortable with his increasingly obvious attempt to seduce her.

She said "With all due respect, Mr. DeAngelis, I don't think it's appropriate to discuss my personal life with a client."

Mr. DeAngelis grins seductively. He said "I'll speculate, then. Your boyfriend doesn't treat you right and you feel suffocated. Why not find a man who'll treat you better. I, for example, would treat a beautiful woman like you as if she's a goddess. I think you're very attractive. Do you think I'm a handsome man?"

Quinn is now more than a little offended.

"That's a highly inappropriate question. Our relationship is strictly professional."

Undeterred, Mr. DeAngelis said "Come on, you know you want to."

Quinn very firmly told him "No, I don't."

Mr. DeAngelis becomes very impatient. He decides to play his trump card. He said "Let me tell you how it is. I know Morgendorffer and Daughter consulting has been losing clients since the recession hit. I don't think you can afford to lose any new ones you get."

Quinn is now livid. In an accusing tone she said "And just WHAT are you getting at?"

Mr. DeAngelis now has a triumphant grin. He said "Here's how it's gonna go, Quinn. I've booked a room for us at LeGrande. After I pay for dinner we go there and spend the night together. I can show you just how hot infidelity can be."

Quinn stares daggers at him.

"If I say no?"

"Then you lose me as a client. Hook up or lose a client, what's it gonna be?"

Quinn is about to throw her drink in his face when she gets a better idea. Grinning, she gets her purse and retrieves her cell phone.

"Before I give you my answer I need to make a phone call."

She dials a number.

"Hello, Mom. It's Quinn...I just had an interesting conversation with an older male client...He just tried to proposition me. He said if I don't spend the night having sex with him I lose him as a client."

At this point everyone can hear Helen scream "WHAT!?" from the phone.

Quinn said "I know. I'm pretty sure this is sexual harassment...Glad you agree...I'd love to."

She looks at Mr. DeAngelis and grins triumphantly.

"My mother is Helen Morgendorffer, as in Law Offices of Vitale, Horowitz, Riordin, Davis, Schrecter, Schrecter, Schrecter, Schrecter and Morgendorffer. She'd like to have a little talk with you."

Mr. DeAngelis, who has an "Oh, Shit!" expression on his face. He must now face the wrath of Helen.

* * *

 **The Liquid Dinner, evening...**

Jim is having a beer and looking totally crestfallen.

 _I can't believe I accused Quinn of wanting to cheat on me, I know she wouldn't. I guess we need to talk it out when I get home._

At this moment, Tom Sloan approaches the bar.

The bartender asked "What'll it be, pal?"

Tom said "Scotch on the rocks."

At this point he notices Jim.

"Jim, what are you doing here?"

Jim said "Hey, Tom. Just drowning some sorrows."

Tom asked "How's Quinn?"

With a sigh, Jim said "We've been fighting. I lost my job."

Raising an eyebrow, Tom said "And she's angry at you for that?"

Jim explained "Not exactly. Right after I told her she tried to cheer me up but was interrupted by a phone call. It was my father. He told me that my being unemployed would cause Quinn to lose interest in me since she has to carry my weight from now on. He said no woman can see an unemployed man as a real man."

"That's pretty harsh."

Jim said "Well, what if he's right? I've been feeling totally emasculated. I refuse to talk to her about it because I'm too embarrassed. She's angry because I won't talk about it. I think this will drive her into someone else's arms. I don't know what to do."

Tom can tell exactly what's going on. He said "She thinks you're shutting her out."

Now, Jim looks interested, which Tom notices.

"My advice is that instead of drinking go home and work things out. She's probably worried about you. Tell her what's been going on. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised."

Jim looks thoughtful.

 _He's right. She wants me to open up and I haven't due to a misplaced sense of masculine pride._

"Thanks, Tom."

Tom smiles.

"Glad to help."

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment , later that evening...**

Jim is on the couch watching TV when Quinn comes in.

Jim teasingly asked "How was the date?"

Noting the less than serious tone in his voice, Quinn said "It was a business meeting, and terrible."

She sits down next to him.

Jim asked "What happened?"

Quinn said "Mr. DeAngelis thought it was a date and actually tried to proposition me. He even said I'd lose him as a client if I didn't have sex with him. So now I'm suing him for sexual harassment. My Mom's handling it pro-bono."

Jim said :Quinn, I'm sorry I've been a jerk these last couple of days. I should've told you how I was feeling from the start."

Quinn said "I get it. You took back to back blows to your self esteem. I was just hurt that you wouldn't talk to me."

Jim explained "I was too ashamed. When Dad called he told me that since I was unemployed you'd stop seeing me as a man and instead see me as a burden. I was so rattled by that that I couldn't sleep. I accidentally saw the check you got from StepOut. I felt totally emasculated and slept on the couch out of shame."

Quinn asked :Why would that make you feel ashamed?"

Jim said "Because as a man it's my duty to be a provider. I felt like I'd failed."

Remembering the fight Chuck and Stacy had the previous month, Quinn thought _Guys really are alike._ She finally said "Jim, we're a team. That wasn't my money, it was our money. We share equally in everything. I want a partner, not a provider."

Jim said "So, you don't see me as less of a man because I lost my job?"

Quinn said "No. You're just as much a man in my eyes now as you always were. I sensed that you were feeling that way, which is why I was so pushy in getting you to open up."

Remembering the concepts of manhood his father had instilled in him, Jim explained "I'm not a warrior, an athlete or even rich."

Quinn said "You don't have to be. I want you: a man who's simultaneously my lover, best friend and closest confidant, a man that I want to share a life with. A man who's children I'd like to have someday. I don't want you to be anything but yourself because that's what I fell in love with."

Jim feels better. He said "I'm sorry I was shutting you out."

Putting an arm over his shoulder, Quinn said "If you need a self esteem boost I'll gladly give you one because you'd do the same for me. That's what couples do."

They hug. When the hug ends Quinn said "I had lunch with my sister today and she suggested I do something to cheer you up, so I got you a little surprise. Wait here."

Quinn goes into the bedroom. When she comes out she's wearing high-heeled sandals, a lacy black bra and skimpy panties and has a seductive grin on her face. Jim can't help staring.

 **Music:** "Hot in Here" by Nelly

In a sexy tone of voice, Quinn said "I'm going to give you a lap dance with a VERY happy ending."

Jim visibly perks up as Quinn begins to dance suggestively toward him. She climbs on top of Jim and sways.

( **A/N:** Now that I've given you some fanservice let's go to the next scene.)

* * *

 **Pizza King, day...**

Quinn and Daria are having lunch. Quinn said "So this morning Jim made another car video. A tutorial on how to change your own oil. Now that he's unemployed he has more time to get his YouTube channel off of the ground."

Daria said "So his crisis of confidence is over I take it."

"All I had to do was reassure him. We're back on track."

"Glad to hear it, Quinn."

Quinn said "What can I say, Jim and I need to lean on each other now more than ever. That's what couples do. I just wish his father saw things that way."

Scowling, Daria said "Screw Jim's father. You and Jim are happy, that's what counts."

Quinn has a Jane like grin.

"Why, dear sister, are you becoming an optimist?"

Daria deadpanned "You've been slowly turning into me for the past nine years so I guess it's high time I started turning into you."

They both sport that famous half-smile.

* * *

 **Next Time**

Sandi has a new boyfriend, but Quinn thinks something about him's a little...off.


	4. Skeletons

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme Song:** "Jersey Girl" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game at the shore next. We see Quinn calming down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Trent and Lindy. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"Skeletons"**

 **story by**

 **WildDogJJ**

 **A Starbucks in Lawndale...**

Sandi and Quinn are catching up over coffee. Sandi seems unusually happy despite the fact that she has to keep working as a stripper due to the tight job market.

"...so even though I have an Associates Degree now I can't find a job. It sucks that I have to keep stripping."

Sympathetic, Quinn said "At least you're trying to do something about it. This recession can't last forever." At this point Quinn notices Sandi's smile and is puzzled as Sandi was just bitching about her job. "Why are you smiling, especially given that you were just bitching about being stuck stripping?"

Radiant, Sandi said "Because I have a new boyfriend."

Quinn is visibly happy for her.

"Sandi, that's great. What's he like?"

Beaming, Sandi said "You'd like him, Quinn. He's incredibly handsome and a well groomed. He's nice, smart and has flawless fashion sense. He works as a male model. In fact, he's so into fashion that I think he just might be "the one", though I admit it's too soon to make that call."

It's obvious to Quinn that Sandi is totally enamored with this guy. She said "I'm happy for you, Sandi. He sounds like a real catch. What's his name?"

"Adam, Adam Simmons."

Quinn gets an idea.

"I'd like to meet him. How about this weekend you double with me and Jim?"

Sandi smiles.

"Sounds like a plan."

* * *

 **A parking lot in front of a cowboy themed restaurant called "Cowtown Steakhouse", evening...**

Quinn and Jim are walking toward the restaurant.

Quinn said "Thanks for doing this, Jim."

Smiling, Jim said "Not a problem, Quinn. After all, any friend of yours is a friend of mine."

Just then they see Sandi and Adam waiting at the entrance to the restaurant. Adam is tall and muscular with gelled black hair, an Ed Hardy T-shirt and skinny jeans. Quinn is visibly impressed.

"Sandi wasn't exaggerating, he is cute."

The two couples meet. Sandi said "Adam, these are the friends I was telling you about. Quinn Morgendorffer and her boyfriend, Jim Carbone. This handsome guy is my boyfriend, Adam Simmons."

Quinn and Adam shake hands. As they do she has a thought.

 _He has a weak handshake for such a buff guy._

"Pleasure to meet you, Adam."

Adam said "The pleasure is all mine, Quinn."He looks at her feet.,"Where did you get those shoes?"

"Cashmans. They're Gucci."

"They look great on you."

Smiling, Quinn said "Thanks."

Sandi beams proudly.

"I told you he has impeccable fashion sense."

Adam and Jim shake hands.

"Nice to meet you, Adam."

"Likewise, Jim."

* * *

 **Inside the restaurant, a short time later...**

The interior has a lot of old west décor. There are paintings depicting both cattle drives on the open plains and gunfights in frontier towns. The bar is set up like a saloon. The two couples are at a table making small talk while a waitress is taking their orders.

Jim said "I'll have the Rustler Rib-eye, medium rare."

Jotting down the order, the waitress said "Excellent choice." She turns to Adam. "And you?"

"Chicken salad will be just fine."

"A fine choice."

She leaves. At this point Quinn notices something. While Jim's beverage is a beer Adam is drinking a Cosmopolitan.

 _A guy drinking a Cosmo!?_

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, later that evening...**

 **Music:** "I Kissed A Girl" by Katy Perry

Quinn and Jim are talking about Sandi and Adam. Jim said "Adam seems pretty cool. He and Sandi seem almost taylor made for each other."

Quinn looks unsure of that.

"Jim, did you notice anything about Adam that was...well...off?"

"What do you mean?"

Quinn said "I don't know. I just have this weird feeling about him. Like what we saw wasn't the real him."

Jim looks thoughtful. He said "Well, I was a little surprised that he ordered a chicken salad at a steakhouse, but he's a model so I just figure being a health nut is part of the job."

Quinn said "He talks about fashion with an unusual amount of interest for a guy. It just seems weird to me."

"Well, like I just said, he's a model. Maybe he just really likes his job."

Quinn looks unconvinced, which Jim notices.

"You're convinced something's up with him."

Quinn said "Yes, I just have this gut feeling that he isn't what he seems. What if he's lying to Sandi? She's been through so much already and I don't wanna see her get hurt."

Jim gets an idea.

"I'll try inviting him for a guys day out. If something is up with him he might let it slip in all male company."

Quinn said "That could work."

She kisses Jim.

"Thanks, Jim."

* * *

 **Wachovia Stadium, Philadelphia, Sunday afternoon...**

The Philadelphia Eagles on the line of scrimmage against the New York Giants. They snap but the quarterback is almost immediatley sacked. In the bleachers Jim and Adam are sitting next to each other. Adam looks curious while Jim looks very disappointed.

Jim exclaimed "You've gotta be shitting me!"

Adam asked "Because the quarterback was knocked to the ground!?"

Jim said "It's called a sack. It means the Eagles just lost ten yards and it's fourth down. They either have to go for it or punt."

"I see."

"So, you've really never been to a football game?"

Adam looks a little sheepish.

"No, for some reason sports were just never something I was interested in."

Jim doesn't see anything wrong with this as not every man is a sports fan. It just means that Adam's interests don't include sports.

"It's cool, dude. I'm more than happy to educate you."

Curious, Adam asked "How did you score tickets to an Eagles game anyway?"

Jim said "My friend and former boss, Mack. He felt so bad about having to lay me off that he gave them to me as an apology. I was gonna go with him but I decided it was an opportunity to get to know you better. Sandi seems to really like you."

Adam doesn't sound very convincing when he says "I like her too. She's great."

Jim notices the lack of sincerity in Adams voice, but before he can say anything...

 **Announcer:** "Touchdown, New York."

Jim turns his attention bakc to the game.

"WHAT THE HELL!?"

Jim turns his attention back to Adam.

Adam said "Hey, Jim, after the game you wanna do something else?"

Jim suggested "We could hang out at the liquid dinner for a bit before heading home. I'll need it after this game."

Adam thought _This is promising._ As he seems to leer at Jim but Jim doesn't notice.

* * *

 **The Liguid Dinner, evening...**

 **Music:** "Relax" by Frankie Goes To Hollywood

Jim and Adam are at the bar chatting over drinks. Jim is having a beer while Adam is having a Mai Thai. Jim has yet to pick up on the increasingly obvious.

"So, how'd you get into modeling?"

Adam said "The fashion industry just always had a certain appeal to me. You'd be surprised how much work is actually involved. I also like looking my best and as soon as I got into modeling I felt like I belonged for the first time in my life."

Jim said "I can relate. I didn't really become comfortable in my own skin until college."

Adam grins as he takes a sip of his drink.

"So, you were recently laid off?"

Jim said "Yeah, it was a huge blow to my ego but Quinn snapped me out of it pretty quick."

Adam said "No worries. It's hard to find work anywhere right now."

Jim, not noticing the unusually affectionate tone in Adam's voice, said "Tell me about it. That's why I recently started a YouTube channel about cars. I'm still looking for a job, though. The channel is so new that it hasn't had a chance to really catch on yet."

Adam said "You look really handsome, Jim. Have you ever considered modeling?"

Jim looks weirded out for a second but immediately shrugs it off.

"Not really my thing. You know some of the stereotypes about male models. I actually respect you for having the guts to do it."

Adam blushes slightly, but Jim doesn't notice.

"Thanks, Jim. I like you."

Missing the signals, Jim said "I'm glad. Since our girlfriends are friends it helps if we're friends too."

In a suggestive tone Adam said "That's not what I meant."

He leans in and tries to kiss Jim. Jim's eyes go wide with shock and he takes a huge step back.

In a sensual, teasing tone Adam asked "What's the matter? I'm not your type."

Jim looks seriously weirded out.

* * *

 **The Liquid Dinner, evening...**

Jim is seriously freaked out by the fact that Sandi's boyfriend, Adam, just tried to kiss him.

"Um, Adam, I'm straight."

Adam said "Yet here you are on a date with a gay man."

Jim said "I didn't know you were gay. This isn't a date, it's just two guys hanging out. Just because I hang out with someone one on one doesn't mean I wanna play tonsil hockey with them. What made you think I was into guys anyway?"

Adam is now visibly embarrassed. He explained "Well, you and Quinn seemed so genuine that when you asked to take me to a football game I assumed that you were bi and picked up on my vibes."

"Adam, I was just looking to hang out. Sandi seemed into you so I figured we should get to know each other a little. But I'm only interested in girls."

Adam becomes very apologetic.

"Sorry, my mistake."

Jim still looks uncomfortable.

"Does Sandi know?"

Adam hangs his head in shame. He said "She doesn't."

Jim can hardly believe what he's hearing. He tries to get a grasp on things.

"So let me get this straight. Sandi thinks you two are in an actual relationship but in reality you're a gay man using her as a beard."

Adam nods, visibly ashamed.

"Please don't tell her."

Shaking his head disapprovingly, Jim said "How do I not? She deserves to know that she's being played."

Adam looks at Jim with pleading eyes.

"Please, Jim. Promise me you won't tell her."

Jim looks thoughtful for a second.

"Will you tell her?"

Adam doesn't answer.

Jim said "Then I have to. This is really unfair to her."

Adam now gets desperate. He begged "Jim, please! I'll tell her when I'm ready. Just give me some time. Promise?"

Jim now feels a little sorry for him. With a frustrated sigh he said "Fine, I won't tell her."

Adam is visibly relieved.

"Oh, Thank you!"

He almost hugs Jim but thinks better of it.

Jim thought _But I'm definitely telling Quinn._

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment building, later that evening...**

 **Music:** "Girl Talk" by ?

Jim has just told Quinn what happened. Her reaction is wide-eyed, open-mouthed shock.

"WHAT!?"

Jim said "Adam's gay, he tried to come on to me, he's using Sandi as a beard and she doesn't even know about it."

Quinn's expression changes from shock to anger. She ranted "I knew it! I knew something was off about him! I mean drinking a Cosmo, the effeminate handshake, the obsession with fashion and the modeling career. All the classic signals. I just didn't put it all together because I didn't wanna seem ignorant."

Feeling guilty, Jim said "He made me promise not to tell Sandi."

"That weasel. He's using her to make people think he's straight."

Jim is very conflicted about whether or not to tell Sandi. On the one hand, she has a right to know that she's being used. On the other hand, he promised not to tell. There's also the possibility that Sandi wouldn't believe him. He said to Quinn "What are you gonna do? I mean, think about it, Sandi could be devastated if we tell her. She might not even believe us."

Quinn said "You promised Adam that YOU wouldn't tell. I have no such obligation and I have to tell Sandi. She has a right to know that she's being used."

Doubtful, Jim asked "Is she even gonna believe you?"

Quinn said "Jim, I can't keep something like this a secret. I know she'll be devastated but I can help her through it. The fact is that her boyfriend is lying to her and pretending to be something he's not and it isn't right."

Jim sees Quinn's point.

* * *

 **Sandi's apartment, evening...**

Sandi is wearing a bathrobe and has wet hair because she has just taken a shower. There's a knock on the door. Sandi looks out the peephole and then opens the door. It's Quinn.

"Quinn, this is a surprise!"

Quinn looks very solemn.

"Sandi, I need to talk to you. Can I come in?"

"Of course."

Quinn enters and Sandi closes the door behind her.

"What's going on, Quinn?"

Quinn said "I need to tell you something really important. You probably wanna sit down for this."

Sandi sits on the couch and Quinn has a seat right beside her.

Quinn explained "You know, Sandi, if you knew Jim was lying to me about something huge I'd want you to tell me. Even if the news would devastate me. Friends look out for each other, after all."

Sandi looks concerned.

"Quinn, what are you talking about? Did Jim do something?"

"Actually, this is about Adam."

The mention of her boyfriend's name causes Sandi to overlook the implications of what Quinn just said. Beaming, Sandi said "Isn't he great? I know we've only been together a short time but I've never clicked so well with any guy."

Quinn now looks very hesitant, which Sandi notices. Remembering her friends serious tone, Sandi begins to wonder if something fishy is up with Adam. She eyes Quinn suspiciously.

"What about him, Quinn?"

The harsh tone makes it clear that Quinn had best not beat around the bush. She hesitates despite this, which causes Sandi to lose her patience.

"Spill it, Kuh-win."

Quinn, knowing that when Sandi pronounces her name "Kuh-win" it means she's rapidly losing patience, blurts out "He's gay. Adam's gay and he's using you as a beard. He tried to come on to Jim today. Sandi, I'm sorry, but he's not who you think he is."

Sandi is shocked.

"No...It...It's not possible. You're lying!"

A little hurt by the accusation, Quinn said "Sandi, it's the truth."

Sandi gets angry. In a venomous tone, she said "You just can't stand to see me happy, can you? You need me to be vulnerable just so you can come to the rescue. Or are you just jealous because I'm dating a model while you're stuck with a brain."

Refusing to get drawn into a fight, Quinn calmly said "Sandi, please. I'm not trying to hurt you."

Quinn reaches out but Sandi slaps her hand away. She's very angry.

"I think you'd better leave."

Quinn looks very hurt by this.

"But Sandi..."

Sandi shushes her. Next, she gets up and opens the door. She points outside and firmly says "Leave, now!"

Quinn sighs as she gets up and walks out the door. Sandi slams it shut behind her. All too soon her angry scowl turns into a rattled frown.

 _What if she's telling the truth?_

* * *

 **A one story white painted house in a nice neighborhood, the following afternoon...**

Sandi walks up to the front door and rings the bell. Adam answers the door.

"Oh! Hi, Sandi".

Sandi is visibly angry.

"Adam, we need to talk."

A few minutes later, they are in the living room sitting on the couch.

Point blank, Sandi asked "Adam, is this a sham relationship?"

Adam looks nervous but not shocked. He tries to play dumb. He said "Sandi, of course not. What makes you think it is?"

Sandi said "Last night Quinn told me that you tried to come on to her boyfriend yesterday. She said that you're gay and using me as a beard. Is it true?"

Adam says nothing, which makes Sandi even more angry.

"IS IT!?"

Adam sighs and lowers his head. Sheepish, he said "It's true. Sandi, I'm sorry."

Sandi snapped "YOU'RE SORRY! You led me on just to cover up the fact that you're gay and all you can say is that you're sorry. I knew you were too good to be true."

Adam said "You don't understand, Sandi. I come from a very conservative family. They'll disown me if they find out. You don't know what it's like to live a lie because your loved ones will turn on you if they know the truth."

Sandi's expression immediately changes from anger to understanding. She knows all to well what it's like to be ostracized by one's own family. Now sympathetic, Sand said "Actually, I know exactly what that's like. You see, I'm bisexual. I spent my teens in total denial of that fact because I was afraid of being an outcast. I was convinced that I was straight and any sexual attraction I had to girls I would just dismiss as idle curiosity."

Now, Adam looks very interested. He asked "When did you accept that you're bi?"

Sandi said "My first semester of college. I fell in love with a girl who was also bi. I tried to keep it a secret at first. When we came out to my family my mother disowned me and threw us out. I haven't seen my parents or my brothers in years. I had to live in a homeless shelter until I'd saved enough to get my own place."

Adam looks very sympathetic. He puts a hand on Sandi's shoulder.

"I'm sorry about what you went through and I'm sorry that I lied to you. But you do see where I'm coming from, don't you?"

Sandi, hoping she could get him interested in her, said "Yes, I know because I've been there. I...I'll keep it a secret."

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment building, evening...**

Quinn and Jim are watching TV while Quinn scratches Storm behind the ears. There's a knock on the door.

Quinn said "I'll get it."

She gets up and answers the door. It's Sandi.

"Quinn, can I come in?"

"Of course."

Sandi comes in and Quinn closes the door behind her. Storm comes up to Sandi and begs for some attention. Sandi scratches him behind his ears.

"Yes, Storm. You're such a cute doggy."

Satisfied, Storm returns to Quinn and Jim. Sandi sits down next to them.

"Quinn, I owe you an apology. It turns out you were right about Adam."

Quinn said "Sandi, you don't have to apologize. You were hurt and angry, I understand."

Jim added "She only told you for your own good."

With a sigh, Sandi said "I know. I can't believe this. Just my luck, I find a guy that I think is proof of love at first sight and it turns out he was a lie. A gay man using me as a beard. I confronted him and he admitted the truth."

Quinn asked "So, you dumped him?"

Sandi looks nervous.

"No, I didn't. I decided to keep up the charade."

Quinn and Jim are stunned speechless. Clearly, Sandi is in denial.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment building, evening...**

Quinn and Jim are having a discussion with Sandi. The topic is Sandi's decision to stay with Adam despite the fact that he's gay.

Quinn said "What do you mean you're gonna stay with Adam? You're definitely not his type because his type is guys."

Unwilling to accept this, Sandi said "I think I can change him. Ashley, that girl I dated in college, changed me. She made me bi."

Quinn can't believe what she's hearing. She tries to reason with Sandi.

"She didn't make you bisexual, you always were. All Ashley did was get you to accept it."

Jim said "She's right, Sandi. Despite what you see in porn it's impossible to change someone's sexual orientation."

Sandi doesn't buy it. She's too deep in denial.

"I know I can't get him to stop being into guys, but maybe I can get him into girls. I just have to seduce him."

Jim said "When he came on to me he made it pretty clear that he's gay. I admit you do have a lot of sex appeal but you can't make a gay man interested."

Sandi, clearly deluding herself, said "I don't know about that. I think he may actually be bi. I've seen him stare at me with a look that was clearly lust."

Quinn still can't believe what she's hearing. She said "Sandi he was probably just acting. If he's bi then why did he tell Jim he was gay?"

Sandi gets defensive. She said "Quinn, even though I know this about him I still have feelings for him. I have to try. I can get him to see me the way I see him. I should be able to count on you for support and I obviously can't do that. If you don't understand then I see no need to stick around."

Sandi gets up and heads to the door. She opens it before turning to Quinn and Jim. She is now angry. In a harsh tone, Sandi said "Have a nice life."

She leaves, slamming the door behind her. Quinn and Jim are now shocked. Jim is the first to speak.

"You know this is gonna completely blow up in her face, don't you?"

Quinn looks worried.

* * *

 **Morgendorffer House, day...**

Quinn decided that she needed some advice. To that end, she turned to her sister. Now in the padded room that Daria once again calls home the two sisters are sitting on the bed. Quinn is telling Daria what's going on.

"...so now Sandi's convinced that he's actually bi and she wants to seduce him in order to prove it."

Daria said "She's in denial."

Quinn said "Way to state the obvious."

Daria raises an eyebrow.

Quinn said "What? You're not the only Morgendorffer who likes to use sarcasm."

Daria half smiles.

"Obi Wan has taught you well, young Skywalker. Seriously, though, unless he's bisexual Sandi has no chance of getting him into bed."

Quinn said "That's why I'm worried. She'll be completely crushed when she realizes she can't change him. I don't know what to do. I don't want her to get hurt but I can't stop her from doing something that'll only cause her more pain."

Daria looks sympathetic. She said "There's nothing you can do, Quinn. Sandi's a grown woman who's free to make her own decisions."

"But what if she gets hurt. I can't help worrying about her. She's had it really rough since high school."

Daria said "Which is why I think she's doing this. She's so starved for love that she'll try to get it any way that she can."

Quinn asked "If I can't do anything to protect her what can I do?"

Daria said "Be there for her. This way you can help her deal. And remind her that even if she isn't loved romantically she's still loved as a friend. She once said that she now considers us family. Be her family."

Quinn looks thoughtful.

* * *

 **Sandi's apartment building, evening...**

Adam and Sandi have just been out on a date and he is now walking her to the door. She's wearing a tube top that leaves very little to the imagination and is so low cut that it's a minor miracle her breasts don't pop out.

Sandi said "I had fun tonight, Adam."

Adam said "So did I, Sandi."

Sandi smiles suggestively at him.

"Would you like to come in? We could hang out for a little while longer."

Adam appears hesitant.

 _If I didn't know any better I'd think she's trying to seduce me. No, she knows I'm gay._

"Sure, why not."

 **Music:** "Gimmie More" by Britney Spears

A few minutes later Adam and Sandi are sitting on the couch. Her demeanor is overtly sexual, which is making Adam uncomfortable.

Sandi, in a suggestive tone, said "Could you excuse me while I change into something more comfortable."

"No problem."

Sandi gets up and goes to the bedroom. As she does she walks in a manner that would turn any straight guy on. She closes the door. Adam is now very confused.

 _She knows I'm gay. Why is she acting like she's trying to turn me on? Doesn't she understand that I'm only sexually aroused by other men?_

Sandi emerges from her bedroom wearing nothing but a lacy black bra and thong panties, neither of which cover much of anything. She does a catwalk toward Adam. She sits next to him.

"Sandi, what are you doing?"

Licking her lips in a seductive manner, Sandi answered "I'm being sexy for my man."

Adam said "Sandi, I'm only sexually attracted to other men."

Sandi said "I know you're into men but how do you know you aren't into women? Maybe you just haven't found the right one."

Adam is now very uncomfortable. Sandi takes his left hand in both of hers. She runs it up her inner thigh and speaks in a very sultry tone of voice.

"You like how I feel?"

She next places his hand on her right breast and smiles seductively.

"How about now?"

Very uncomfortable, Adam said "Sandi, what's gotten into you? You know I'm not into girls."

Sandi licks her lips in an erotic fashion.

"I think you are and just don't know it yet."

She straddles his lap and kisses him passionately, using lots of tongue and even moaning into his mouth. After that...

"I'm horny."

She places his left hand on her right ass cheek.

"I want you to stay with me tonight. I want you...", she licks his ear, "...inside me."

Adam looks seriously freaked out.

"Sandi, please. I'm not turned on by women."

Sandi slowly removes her bra, giving Adam a full view of her bare breasts.

"How about now?"

Adam doesn't respond. Sandi takes both of his hands and places them on her bare breasts.

"Take me, Adam. I want you to have sex with me."

Adam shoves Sandi off of him and stands up.

"Look, Sandi, I'm not interested. I'll prove it."

He places her hand on his crotch.

"Does it feel like I'm aroused to you?"

Sandi is disappointed as she feels that he is not even the slightest bit aroused.

"Nothing. You aren't even semi rigid."

Adam said "Because I'm gay. I have never had even the slightest interest in women. You have to accept that."

Adam has a sudden look of realization. He finally decided "Look, Sandi, maybe we should just break this whole thing off. You need to get over me and find someone who is interested. I'm sorry I led you on and I'm sorry you want me but it isn't going to happen."

Without so much as a goodbye he walks out of the door. Sandi covers her breasts and looks like she was just stabbed int the heart.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment building, later that evening...**

Quinn and Jim are making out on the couch when there's a knock on the door. They stop kissing and Quinn answers the door. It's Sandi.

"Quinn, I need to talk to you."

"Come in, Sandi."

Jim is a little annoyed as it becomes clear he isn't going to get any tonight. Sandi and Quinn sit down on the couch.

Sandi said "You were right, Quinn. Adam and I broke up."

Sympathetic, Quinn said "Sandi, I'm sorry, but I tried to warn you."

Shaking her head, Sandi said "I know, and I should've listened. I just wanted him so badly that I couldn't accept the truth. I invited him into my apartment and tried to get him to sleep with me. It didn't work. I threw myself at him, almost naked, and he didn't become even the slightest bit aroused."

Shrugging, Jim said "Makes sense. He's gay, it's impossible for him to be turned on by a woman."

Sandi frowns.

"Every time", she said in a bitter tone. "Every damn time I try to find love I just wind up alone. First a girlfriend who cheated on me, then my relationship with Joey fizzles out and now this."

Sandi looks like she wants to cry. Quinn feels bad for her.

"Sandi, you just have to keep trying."

Choking back tears, Sandi said "Easy for you to say, Quinn. You're in a relationship that's still going strong after more than three years. It's only a matter of time before you two wind up exchanging I dos. I just keep getting hurt. What's wrong with me?"

At this point, Sandi starts crying. Quinn puts a hand on Sandi's shoulder to reassure her. She said "Nothing's wrong with you, Sandi. What happened to you can happen to anyone. When I broke up with my college sweetheart it hurt like hell, even though it was my decision to end things. It happens."

Wiping away her tears, Sandi said "You found Jim, so it worked out for you. Stacy is married to Chuck Ruttheimer and having his baby, Jane's living with an archaeologist boyfriend and even Lindy found love with Trent. The only one who hasn't found that special someone is me. I'm going to wind up an old maid."

Quinn said "Sandi, you're only 27. You still have plenty of time. Even if you never find "the one" you can still be happy. My sister doesn't have a boyfriend and she's perfectly okay with that."

Sandi said "Everyone I know is in a serious, steady relationship. I'm starting to feel left out."

Quinn is even more sympathetic as she realizes just how lonely Sandi is. She said "Oh, Sandi! You aren't being left out. We're all here for you. If you're worried about being alone, don't be. You'll always have me and Stacy and everyone else. We don't mind including you in things. Besides, I know plenty of attractive single guys and I can find some single girls who are into girls. Just let me know and I can fix you up with someone."

Sandi is moved to tears by the offer. She hugs Quinn.

"Quinn, thank you so much. You're the sister I never had. I love you."

"I love you too, Sandi."

Jim added "Just remember, Sandi, you have friends who'll always help you out."

Sandi lets go of Quinn and now hugs Jim.

"We aren't friends, Jim. You and Quinn are my family."

Quinn joins the group hug, visibly moved.

* * *

 **Next Time**

Quinn and Jim get a visit from Jim's uncle Vito, who lends new meaning to the term "dirty old man".


	5. Strange Uncle

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme Song:** "Jersey Girl" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game at the shore next. We see Quinn calming down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Trent and Lindy. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"Strange Uncle"**

 **story by**

 **WildDogJJ**

 **Morgendorffer House, evening...**

Helen, Jake, Daria, Quinn and Jim are sitting at the kitchen table having dinner. Storm, Quinn and Jim's dog, is begging for food. Jake gives him a piece off of the table.

"Here you go, boy."

Helen stared disapprovingly and said "Jake, don't feed the dog."

Quinn added "Yeah, Dad. We already fed him."

Jake ignores them and scratches Storm behind the ears. Using baby talk, he said "Who's a good boy?"

Daria deadpanned "A classic case of Dad versus his inner child. Looks like another victory for the inner child."

Jim stifles a laugh. He always liked Daria's sense of humor.

"I like the way you think."

Playfully pretending to be jealous, Quinn said "I saw him first, sis."

They all have a laugh until Jim's cell phone goes off. He looks at the number.

"I gotta take this."

He answers "Hello...Hi, Mom...What!?...Come to think of it, I shouldn't be so surprised...No, I haven't seen or heard from him...Well, if he contacts me I'll let you know...I'm having dinner with Quinn's family..." At this point, Jim looks at Helen, "...My mom says hi."

Smiling, Helen said "Tell her I said hello."

Jim returns to talking to his mother.

"Helen said hi back...I will. Bye, Mom."

Jim then hangs up.

"Sorry about that. Apparently my uncle, Vito, has gone missing. His girlfriend threw him out two days ago and nobody knows where he is."

Helen said "Jim, that's terrible. What happened

Jim looked a little awkward as he thought _She caught him in bed with two hookers._ Out loud he just said "I probably shouldn't say."

* * *

 **Pizza King, the next day...**

Quinn and Stacy are in the booth Daria and Jane used to use, having lunch and catching up. Quinn had gotten the whole story about Uncle Vito out of Jim when they got home.

"...so now Jim's uncle has been missing for three days now. I couldn't believe it when we got home and Jim told me why his girlfriend threw him out. Eww!"

Looking hostile, Stacy said "God, I know! Frankly, he got off light. If I ever caught Chuck with two hookers in our bed I'd probably kill him."

Quinn gasps in shock as Stacy sounds a little too serious. Stacy was kidding, but the hormones of pregnancy have made her less able to communicate that.

"Sorry, pregnant. Sometimes the hormones make me say crazy stuff."

Quinn decides to change the subject.

"So," she asked, "how have you been?"

Stacy said "The usual. Sleepless nights, morning sickness, craving foods that used to gross me out. I actually had a pickle and honey sandwich for breakfast this morning."

Quinn scrunches her nose.

"Stacy, Ewwwww!"

Stacy looks a little insulted by Quinn's reaction, which Quinn notices.

"Stacy, I'm sorry."

Stacy said "It's okay. It was a normal reaction. I'll get even when you're pregnant."

They both laugh.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment , evening...**

Quinn and Jim are sitting down on the couch and talking about their day.

Jim said "I changed to oil in Kevin's Hummer today. I recorded it and I'm gonna upload it as a tutorial on how to change your own oil."

Quinn laughed. She found it amusing that Kevin and Brittany were living off of Steve Taylor's money. She said "I can't get over the fact that Mr. Taylor gave him a Hummer and a house as a wedding present."

Jim deadpanned "I guess dowry's are making a comeback. I hear Mr. Taylor even sweetened the pot with two fatted calves and a goat."

They both laugh when there's a knock on the door.

Jim said "I'll get it."

He gets up and answers the door. It's a fifty-something man with slicked back hair, a beer gut, pinkie rings on his fingers and a gold chain around his neck with a huge gold cross. His Hawaiian shirt is unbuttoned, showing his wife beater and hairy chest. It's Jim's uncle, Vito Carbone.

"Uncle Vito!?"

Vito, speaking in a heavy New York accent, said "Hey, Jimmy! How ya been?"

They hug.

"I'm good, Uncle Vito."

Jim lets his uncle in and closes the door. Vito walks up to Quinn. He kisses her hand.

"How ya doin', _che bella_ ?"

Flattered, Quinn said "I'm good, Mr. Carbone."

"Please, sweetheart, call me Vito."

Vito sits on the other side of Jim.

Jim said "Mom told me Julia threw you out. Where have you been the last three days?"

Vito explained "Sleepin' in motels. I decided to pay youse guys a visit. I know this is unexpected but could I stay wit' youse? It'd just be for a few days. Hopefully by then Julia will have calmed down enough to take me back."

Jim looks apprehensive. Quinn, on the other hand, wants to be hospitable. She said "Of course you can stay with us. You're part of Jim's family, after all.".

Nervous, Jim said "Quinn, I need to have a word with you in private."

Jim and Quinn go into the bedroom. Once there...

"Are you sure about this? I mean his girlfriend just threw him out for having a threesome with some hookers on their bed."

Quinn said "Jim, he's you're uncle. The least we can do is be a little hospitable."

Jim sees Quinn's point.

"Alright, but don't offer him any alcohol."

Quinn asked "Why not?"

Jim explained "Because you're a beautiful woman and let's just say that Uncle Vito's not the best at keeping his hands to himself after he's had a few."

Now, it's Quinn who looks apprehensive.

* * *

 **Chuck and Stacy's house, evening...**

In the living room Chuck and a three-months pregnant Stacy are discussing baby names.

Stacy said "So we know that if it's a boy we'll name it after you."

Chuck commented "And hopefully he turns out better than me. I could do without our son going through his teens as the next Upchuck."

Stacy giggles as she remembers the days when her husband was Upchuck, Lawndale High's resident creeper. She said "Don't worry. If it's a boy we'll make sure he knows how to treat a woman with dignity and respect."

Chuck added "Just like if it's a girl we'll teach her to be self confident."

"Exactly." said Stacy, "No daughter of mine's going to spend her teens being a helpless doormat like I was."

"And no son of mine's going to spend his teens being a repulsive sleazebag. By the way, what are we gonna name it if it's a girl?"

Stacy looks thoughtful.

"I don't want her named after me. That could get confusing."

Chuck suggested "We could name her after your mother."

Stacy scrunches her nose.

"Mildred Ruttheimer!? Ew, no way!"

Stacy soon has a thought.

"I'm having another craving. Could you make me a tofu and raw fish sandwich."

Chuck looks like he wants to upchuck.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, morning...**

 **Music:** "Womanizer" by Britney Spears

Vito comes in to the bathroom wearing a wife beater and boxer shorts but has a change of clothes in his arm. He completely disregards the fact that someone is taking a shower. The person in the shower is unaware that Vito has entered the bathroom. Vito places his clothes on the counter next to the sink. He looks in his toiletry bag.

 _Damn, I left my toothbrush at that last motel. I wonder if Jim has a spare._

He turns to the shower and clearly believes that Jim is the one taking a shower. The person in the shower is still unaware that Vito is in the bathroom. Vito pulls back the curtain.

"Hey, Jim..."

Quinn, naked and soaking wet, screams and immediately tries to cover herself with her arms.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Vito immediately averts his eyes.

"Quinn! I'm sorry, I thought you were Jim."

Vito now truns back toward Quinn and starts checking her body out. He grins lecherously.

"Damn, you got one hot body! No wonder Jim loves ya, you're perfect."

Now, Quinn looks pissed.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, morning...**

Vito has just walked in on Quinn taking a shower. He won't stop staring at the completely naked Quinn. Pissed, she said "Quit staring at me, you perv!"

Genuinely bewildered, Vito said "C'mon, I'm giving yas a compliment. You got the body of a sex goddess."

Quinn pulls the curtain back to cover herself from the chest on down. Vito is a little disappointed.

"Awww! I was enjoying the show."

Very angry, Quinn snarled "Dammit, Vito, I'm trying to take a shower here!"

With a shrug, Vito said "No problem. Do you have a spare toothbrush?"

"Yes, and I'll give it to you after I'm showered and dressed."

"Could I have it now? I can brush my teeth while you finish up."

Quinn is infuriated by this suggestion.

"OUT, VITO! NOW!"

Turning around, Vito said "Awright! I'm goin', jeez!"

Vito leaves the bathroom. Quinn looks like she wants to kill someone.

* * *

 **Chuck and Stacy's house, morning...**

 **Music:** "Cry For Help" by Shinedown

In the living room Chuck and Stacy are both visibly exhausted because they haven't slept at all the previous night. They're still trying to figure out what they're going to name their child if it's a girl.

Chuck suggested "We could name her Esmeralda."

Stacy looks as thoughtful as possible for a person who hasn't slept in twenty-four hours.

"No, it's too...too...What was the name again?"

Exhausted, Chuck said "E... _yawn_...Esmeralda."

"Too... _yawn_...t... _yawn_...too... _yawn_...exotic.

Chuck tries to think some more.

"We could... _yawn_...flip...What were we talking about just now?"

Stacy's eyes are now very heavy.

"B-baby name... _yawn_...girl."

"Oh,... _yawn_...yeah."

Chuck looks like he's ready to pass out. He said "Coffee?"

"You... _yawn_...want to name her Coffee!?"

"No, I _...yawn_...need caffeine...too...tired to think."

Stacy responds by promptly falling asleep.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Quinn and Jim are at the table having dinner. Vito is not present. Quinn said "Did I tell you that Vito walked in on me taking a shower this morning?"

Jim looks totally unfazed by this.

"He never was one to knock."

"He wouldn't stop staring at me. It was kinda creepy."

"No surprise there."

Quinn is puzzled by Jim's nonchalant attitude. She asked "Why isn't this bothering you?"

Jim said "Because when it comes to the girlfriends of family members he's strictly look but don't touch...at least when he's sober. I'll have a talk with him."

Looking a little embarrassed, Quinn said "I have to admit that while I was mostly creeped out I was also a little flattered."

Jim raises an eyebrow.

"He said I have the body of a sex goddess. Part of me was thinking "I've still got it"."

Jim said "You're only 25. Assuming you keep taking care of yourself the soonest you'll start to lose it is fifteen years from now. In any case, you'll always have it in my eyes."

Quinn smiles.

"You can be so sweet sometimes. It was still mostly creepy, since this was a guy thirty-plus years older than me staring at me while I'm naked."

Jim said "I'm pretty sure it was an accident."

Quinn visibly feels reassured by this. She asked "By the way, where is he right now?"

Jim said "He was going a little stir crazy so I told him about Cafe Risque. He went there."

Quinn now looks apprehensive.

* * *

 **Cafe Risque, evening...**

 **Music:** "Dirrty" by Christina Aguilera

A visibly drunk Vito is leering at the girls on stage. One of the girls working the poll is Sandi. She's wearing a lacy black bra and black thong panties with high heeled sandals. She grinds the poll suggestively, which gets Vito's attention. He has a hundred dollar bill in his right hand and is signaling Sandi over with his left. Sandi crawls from the pole to Vito in a very suggestive manner. He gives her the money, which she tucks in her g-string. She dances close to him.

Vito asked "Can I get you into the Champagne Room? I'd like a private dance."

Sandi said "Private dance is five-hundred dollars, plus tip."

"That's no problem."

Sandi gets down off the stage.

"Follow me."

She leads Vito to the Champagne Room. There's a bouncer, a very muscular black man with a shaved head, guarding the door.

Sandi asked "Lou, is the Champagne Room free?"

Lou, the bouncer, said "Yes. Does this customer have the five hundred dollar entry fee?"

Vito said "Here ya go."

He hands Lou a five-hundred dollar bill.

Lou said "Before you go in let me lay down some ground rules. This is a legitimate business with a strict look-but-don't-touch policy that is only very slightly amended in the Champagne Room. You are expected to behave like a gentleman. Rule one: She can touch you but you can't touch her. Rule two: she can perform completely naked but you are expected to remain fully clothed at all times. Rule three: kissing is only allowed if the girl initiates it. Violate these rules and you will immediately be forcibly removed from the premises. Understand?"

Vito said "Yes."

Lou opens the door and lets them inside. Inside, the room has velvet purple walls, a pole and a chair for a lap dance. Lou sits in the chair. Sandi works the pole, grinding it and licking her lips as she does. She begins to remove her bra. The sight of a now topless Sandi makes Vito grin lecherously. He pulls out another hundred and signals Sandi over. Sandi seductively crawls like a cat toward Vito. She takes the hundred and slowly straddles him. Sandi sways her butt and teases Vito. Vito then grabs her ass with one hand, her hair with the other. He tries to forcibly kiss Sandi. She is instantly pissed off.

"HANDS! HANDS!"

The door flys open and Lou sees Vito groping Sandi and trying to kiss her. He immediately pulls Sandi free from Vito's grip.

"What's going on?"

Sandi said "He just grabbed me and tried to kiss me."

Lou turns his attention to a now nervous Vito.

"You were warned, pal!"

Lou grabs Vito and drags him out of there. In the main club Vito breaks free of Lou and jumps up on stage. He tries to grab one of the other girls before Lou grabs him. Vito punches Lou so hard that the bouncer falls off of the stage. Vito is immediately rushed by a whole team of bouncers. Sandi buries her face in her hands out of embarrassment.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, later that evening...**

Quinn and Jim are watching TV when the phone rings.

Jim said "I'll get it."

He gets up and answers the phone.

"Hello...Uncle Vito! Where are you?...What do you mean you're in jail?..." His eyes go wide."...Disorderly conduct...I'll be there."

Jim hangs up. He turns to Quinn and explains "You won't believe this, Quinn. Uncle Vito got fresh with one of the girls at Cafe Risque and when they tried to escort him out he punched one of the bouncers. He was arrested for disorderly conduct so now I have to bail his ass out of jail."

Quinn's eyes go wide.

"You're kidding!"

Jim said "It gets worse. Apparently, the girl he tried to cop a feel off of was Sandi."

Quinn looks mortified.

* * *

 **Halycon Hills Office Park, day...**

In her office at Morgendorffer and Daughter Consulting Quinn is loading off on Erin about the night before. She angrily said "...so now Jim's uncle, Vito, has to pay a $100.00 dollar fine and is barred from the place. It's especially embarrassing because the girl he got fresh with is one of my friends."

Sympathetic, Erin said "Boy, do I know what that's like. I can't remember how many times I had to bail Brian's ass out of trouble when we were married. Some days I was ashamed to face my friends."

Quinn said "I just don't get how a guy as sweet as Jim can come from such a vulgar family. His mother's pretty decent and his brother seems okay, but his father and uncle are such pigs."

Erin continues to look sympathetic. She said "Brian's family was even worse. I wish I'd never met any of them. I only put up with them because Brian gave me herpes."

Quinn now wants to change the subject.

"What's my schedule like. Am I meeting any clients today?"

Now Erin looks worried. She said "Our last client called this morning to terminate our services. We now have no clients."

Quinn gasps with dread.

* * *

 **Chuck and Stacy's house, evening...**

In the living room Chuck and Stacy still can't decide what they'll name the baby if it's a girl.

Frustrated, Chuck groaned "How can this be so hard? We've been at it for three whole days and we still can't decide what to name the baby."

Stacy said "I'm half tempted to say screw it and just hope it's a boy."

Chuck gets an idea.

"How about Sandra? We could call her Sandi."

Stacy giggles when she hears this.

Chuck asked "What's so funny?"

Stacy said "I was just imagining how high school Sandi would react to the possibility of her future namesake being Sandi Ruttheimer."

Chuck laughs.

"Yeah, that is kind of funny."

Just then, both their faces light up with an idea.

Stacy and Chuck: "Hey!"

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Quinn and Jim are getting ready to go out while Vito watches TV.

Jim said "Now, Vito, Quinn and I are gonna be gone for a couple of hours. Chuck and Stacy invited us on a double date tonight. Are you gonna behave yourself?"

Shrugging, Vito said "Don't worry. I won't go to a strip club, get drunk and get my ass arrested. Scouts honor."

Quinn sternly said "Good! You do realize the girl you grabbed was my friend, right?"

Vito now looks remorseful.

"Next time you see her tell her I'm sorry."

Quinn said "I will. Bye."

Jim said "Later, Uncle Vito."

Vito said "Have fun, you two."

With that, Quinn and Jim leave. Once they're gone Vito gets a piece of paper out of his pocket. He looks at it, picks up the phone and dials a number.

"Hello, Madame Amour's Escort Service..."

* * *

 **Chez Pierre...**

Quinn and Jim are seated at a table directly across from Stacy and Chuck.

Quinn said "Thanks for inviting us, you guys."

Jim said "Sorry you have to pay for us."

Chuck had no problem paying. He knew that, thanks to the recession, Quinn and Jim were having financial problems. He said "That's okay. I understand that money's a little tight for both of you right now."

Quinn asked "So, how are things?"

Stacy smiled proudly. She said "We've decided what to name our baby."

Puzzled, Quinn said "Stacy, that's great, but you're only three months along. You can't already know the sex of the baby."

Stacy explained "We decided on a girls name and a boys name."

Chuck said "If it's a boy we'll name him after me."

Jim said "Charles Ruttheimer the fourth, huh? Makes sense."

Stacy beams proudly.

"And if it's a girl, we'll name her Quinn."

Quinn is visibly stunned.

"Y...You want to name your daughter after me!?"

Stacy said "Of course. It took us forever to pick a girls name so we finally decided that if we have a girl why not just name her after my best friend."

Quinn is almost moved to tears.

"Oh, Stacy!"

Quinn walks up to Stacy and gives her best friend a hug.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, later that evening...**

 **Music:** "Party In Your Bedroom" by Cash Cash

Quinn and Jim return from their double date. They are still touched by Stacy and Chuck's decision to name their baby after Quinn if it's a girl. Quinn said "That was so sweet of them to plan on naming their daughter after me."

Jim said "What can I say? Chuck and Stacy are true friends."

At this point they spot a trail of men's and women's clothes leading from the couch to the bedroom. None of the clothes are theirs. Jim begins to worry. He said "Oh, God!" with dread in his voice. They both run to the bedroom and open the door. They both gasp when they see that Vito is in their bed having a threesome with two hookers. In unison, Quinn and Jim say:

"EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

In the living room a short time later Vito is back in his clothes and the girls are gone. Quinn is VERY upset. Getting right in Vito's face, she said "You brought hookers into our home! INTO OUR BED! WHAT THE HELL!?"

Jim comes in from the laundry room. He said "Well, I've got the sheets in the washer." He turns his attention to his uncle. Vito," he said, "you said you'd behave yourself."

Vito protested "C'mon, Jimmy. It was just a little harmless fun."

Jim gets right in Vito's face. He shouts "YOU WERE HAVING A THREESOME WITH TWO HOOKERS IN THE BED QUINN AND I SLEEP IN! THIS IS THE ULTIMATE SIGN OF DISRESPECT! WHAT IF WE CATCH SOMETHING THANKS TO YOU?"

Throwing his hands up, Vito said "OOOOOOO, Jim, relax, will yas? There clean, it was a high end escort service. And what's with this whole sanctity of your bed deal? It's not like you and Quinn are married."

Quinn is about to smack him when there's a knock on the door. She hissed "We'll discuss this later" as she goes to the door. She answers the door. It turns out to be Jim's father, Tony.

"I'm here to collect my idiot brother."

Quinn now smiles.

 _I never thought I'd see the day that I'm actually happy to see him!_

* * *

 **Pizza King, the next day...**

Quinn and Daria are having lunch. Quinn said "...so Vito went to move in with Jim's parents until he can find his own place."

Daria commented "So you and Jim spent the whole week babysitting a dirty old man."

Quinn said "Pretty much. I was actually happy to see Jim's father. That almost never happens."

Daria asked "How is it that a guy like Jim is related to a bunch of jerks like that?"

Quinn looks thoughtful for a second.

"Beats the hell out of me."

Daria has a thought.

"Remember your brief guardian angel phase in high school?"

Quinn nods.

Daria said "You were right about one thing; some things really are beyond our knowledge."

The sisters exchange knowing smiles.

* * *

 **Next Time**

We travel back to the year 1981. A time when Jake and Helen were, like America, growing more conservative and a certain bundle of cynicism was on her way.


	6. The Coming of The Cynic

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme Song:** "Jersey Girl" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game at the shore next. We see Quinn calming down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Trent and Lindy. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"The Coming Of The Cynic"**

 **story by**

 **WildDogJJ**

 **Morgendorffer House, day, November 2, 2008...**

Inside of the living room is a banner that reads "Happy Birthday Daria". In addition to Daria, Jake and Helen the guests include Quinn and Jim, Stacy and Chuck, Lindy and Trent along with Jane, Tiffany, Sandi, Mack, Kevin and Brittany. They are all giving Daria presents. Jane smirks.

"Why Daria," she said, "have you been getting popular behind my back?"

Daria frowns.

"No, the party was Quinn's idea. I didn't expect this many people."

Quinn said "We ran out of your friends, Daria, so Jim and I included some of ours. Think of it as compensation for all the times I ruined your birthday as a kid."

Tiffany hands Daria a present.

"Heeere...youuu...goooo...haaappy...birth...daaay."

Daria unwraps the present and looks dismayed as it's a makeup kit. Daria lets out a resigned sigh. Her voice dripping with sarcasm, Daria said "A makeup starter kit, just what I've always wanted."

Tiffany smiles as the sarcasm flys completely over her head.

"Yooouuu're...welcooomeee."

Smiling proudly, Jake said "Isn't this wonderful, kiddo? To think, it's already your...", he looks thoughtful as he struggles to remember her age, "...How old are you?"

In her best deadpan, Daria said "I'm over ten-thousand years old."

Jake seems to think she's being serious.

"Wow

Helen rolls her eyes as she says "Jake, she was joking." At this point something occurs to her. "You mean to tell me you don't know that she's now 27!?"

Jake looks nervous but quickly regains his composure.

"27, wow! It seems like just yesterday I was changing your diapers. Where does the time go? Remember, Helen?"

Helen immediately goes from disappointed to sentimental.

"Oh, was that ever a crazy time."

Daria and Quinn exchanged worried looks. It looks like another potentially embarrassing trip down memory road.

Jake said "That's a story we just have to tell. I remember..."

* * *

 **Highland, TX 1981...**

 **Music:** "Video Killed The Radio Star" by the Buggles

Jake and Helen are in the small apartment they share having dinner and talking. The apartment is a small two-bedroom with a single bathroom, a kitchen, living room and laundry room. Helen has a Farrah Fawcitt hairdo while Jake's hairstyle is a feathered mullet with sideburns ( After all, it is 1981.). Jake looks happy while Helen talks about her day.

 **Jake:** (VO from 2008) "Helen was starting to go somewhere at her law firm while I'd finally landed a new job after being unemployed for eight months."

The 1981 Helen said "...so after I won that case I asked Mr. Baylor what he thought and he said I might be considered for a partnership in the future if I keep it up."

1981 Jake's face lights up as he says "That's great, honey. I just hope that facist Reagan doesn't turn back the clock."

Helen rolls her eyes.

"He promised to appoint a woman to the supreme court."

Jake said "Assuming he doesn't get us all nuked first. I still can't believe he won in a landslide."

Helen visibly wants to change the subject.

 **2008 Helen:** (VO) "Our lives were rapidly changing. We had all but abandoned our hippy ideals by then but we were still quite liberal. It was also an unhappy time on my side of the family."

1981 Jake asked "By the way, Helen, your mother called before you got home."

Helen looks instantly worried.

 **2008 Helen:** (VO) "My father had been in very poor health for some time by then."

1981 Helen, visibly worried, asked "What's going on!? Is my father alright?"

Jake looks solemn.

"He's not handling the chemo very well. It has him in a constant state of exhaustion."

Helen looks distraught, which Jake notices.

"Don't worry, Helen. I'm sure your father will pull through."

Helen still looks distraught so Jake decides to change the subject.

"Did I tell you about that interview I had?"

Eager to talk about something other than her cancer-stricken father, Helen asked "How'd it go?"

Beaming, Jake said "I got the job. I start on Monday."

Helen smiles.

"Jake, that's wonderful."

* * *

 **Jake and Helen's bedroom, 1981...**

 **Music:** "Kiss On My List" by Hall and Oates

Jake is sitting up in bed wearing his pajamas. Helen enters the room in a lacey red night gown that leaves VERY little to the imagination. She walks seductively towards the bed and climbs on top of him. They share a passionate kiss. When the kiss breaks...

"Wow! Helen, you're absolutely sexy."

In a sultry tone, Helen said "Why thank you, you virile stud of a man."

Jake asked "What's the occasion?"

Helen, her voice dripping with eroticism, said "We've been talking about having children, right. I figure since you now have a new job tonight might be perfect for another try. You ready to...", she licks his face in a highly erotic manner,"...give it to me, sexy?"

Jake is now seriously turned on.

"Oh, yeah!"

They kiss passionately as Jake removes her nightgown.

* * *

 **Morgendorffer living room, 2008...**

Jake is telling the story.

"And that's how you were conceived, kiddo. It was some of the best sex I ever had."

Daria blushes with embarrassment while Quinn buries her face in her hands.

Quinn said "Dah-ad, we didn't need to hear that part."

Helen gives Jake a stern look.

"Was that really necessary, Jake?"

Jake looks embarrassed.

"Sorry! Anyway, a few weeks after that night..."

* * *

 **An office building in Highland, 1981...**

Inside the doctor's office Helen and Jake are seated in front of the desk of while a doctor was seated behind the desk. The doctor is a woman who looks and sounds exactly like Nancy Gribble from King of the Hill. She is Dr. Sanders, Helen's gynocologist.

 **2008 Jake:** (VO) "...your mother missed her period and had a bout of morning sickness so we went to see her gynocologist."

Dr. Sanders said "Mr. Morgendorffer, I've given your wife a thorough examination. No question about it, she's pregnant. Congratulations, shug."

Helen and Jake are awestruck by the news.

Helen said "I'm pregnant."

With equal awe, Jake said "I'm gonna be a father."

Dr. Sanders said "That's right, you two."

* * *

 **Jake's car, a short time later...**

 **Music:** "Young Turks" by Rod Stewart

Jake is driving while Helen is in the passenger seat.

Beaming, Jake said "Wow, I still can't believe I'm gonna be a Dad! I'm really looking forward to this."

Helen said "Me too, Jake. I can prove to the world that it IS possible to be both a career woman and a full time mother. One thing I can say for certain is that I'll never play favorites, like my mother did."

In a bitter tone, Jake added "And I'll never throw our child in a military academy, like my father. My child is NOT going to be a soldier."

Jake becomes very angry. He shakes his fist and looks at the steering weel instead of the road.

"YOU HEAR THAT, MAD DOG!? I WON'T BRUTALIZE MY KIDS YOU HEARTLESS, EVIL SON OF A..."

Helen shouted "JAKE, WATCH OUT!"

Jake looks up and notices that he's driving into oncoming traffic.

"GAH!"

He gets the car back on the right side of the road just in time to avoid a head on collision. Shaking his fist, Jake shouted "DAMN YOU, OLD MAN!"

Helen groans and rolls her eyes.

* * *

 **Jake and Helen's apartment, evening...**

Jake and Helen are in the living room, watching TV.

 **2008 Helen:** "One evening, we were watching the news when we got some bad news of our own."

On the TV screen they see Ronald Reagan being covered by Secret Service agents while there is a sound of gunshots.

 **TV Announcer:** "This was the scene today as the President left the hotel. Gunshots were fired and a bullet struck the President in the left side of the chest. The President was immediately taken to a hospital where he entered under his own steam. We'll bring word on the President Reagan's condition as it develops. The gunman, a deranged loner named John Hinckley, is in custody."*

*( **A/N:** This was an actual historical event.)

Jake and Helen look shocked. The phone rings. Helen gets it as it is right next to her.

"Hello... ", Helen scowls, "...Oh, Hi, Rita...WHAT!?..." Helen goes from looking angry to looking devastated. "...When?...I...I see...Of course I'll be there...I'm sorry, too...He was a good man...Rita, you need to be strong right now. For Mom's sake...I will " Helen is choking back tears at this point, "bye."

Helen hangs up. She looks utterly devastated, which Jake notices.

"Helen, what's wrong?"

"Rita just called. My father...he...he died. He died just thirty minutes ago."

Jake puts a hand on Helen's shoulder.

"Helen, I'm so sorry. I know how much he meant to you."

Helen throws herself into Jake's arms and starts crying uncontrollably.

* * *

 **Barksdale Manor, Virginia, 1981...**

 **Music:** "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Pat Benatar

Jake and Helen are seated in the family room with Emma, Rita and a five year old Erin. Emma's hair is just starting to go gray at this point so her original hair color is the same shade of red as Quinn's. Rita looks the same as in "Aunt Nauseum", only twenty years younger. Erin is in a pink dress with pig tails.

 **Helen:** (VO from 2008) "We'd flown to Virginia for my father's funeral. My mother was not happy to see us."

1981 Helen said "I'm so sorry for what happened, Mom."

Emma regards Helen coldly.

"I'm shocked that you even came, Helen. I thought you'd wanted nothing to do with us."

Hurt, Helen said "Mother, you know that's not true."

 **2008 Helen:** (VO) "My mother always disliked Jake and was using her grief as an excuse to be particularly nasty to him."

Emma said "At least Rita didn't marry the son of an uncouth psychopath. She knows how to marry well."

Helen coldly remarked "And take him for everything in the divorce."

Rita said "Helen, let's please not go there."

Emma hissed "Leave your sister alone, young lady."

Helen stares daggers at both of them. Jake is so uncomfortable that he immediately changes the subject.

"Did either of us mention that we're having a baby?"

Emma and Rita are immediately interested. Rita said "That's wonderful." She immediately turned her attention to Erin and added "Did you hear that, sweetie? You'll have a little cousin to play with."

Erin smiles.

"Yippie!"

Emma smiles at Erin before staring coldly at Jake and Helen. In an accusing tone, she asks Helen "Who's the father?"

Helen stares daggers at her mother while Jake looks awkward. Emma backpedaled slightly and said "I don't mean to be rude, but don't you hippies believe in sexual debauchery?"

Rita immediately looks uncomfortable. She doesn't want such a subject coming up in front of her five year old daughter.

"Mother, there are children present."

Emma's demeanor immediately softens.

"My apologies, I shouldn't be talking of such things right now. It's just...just...," she brushes a stray tear off her cheek, "...I miss your father so much."

Emma begins to cry. Just then another person enters. It's a 23 year old Amy Barksdale. Amy had a short haircut and was dressed like a punk rocker. Emma stops crying and regards her youngest daughter very coldly.

"Amy! So, you actually showed. What on earth are you doing with a mans hairstyle?"

Amy looks indignant.

"For your information, Mother, this is a womans hairstyle that's popular right now."

Emma hissed "You look like a lesbian, though it would not at all surprise me to find out that you are. You and Helen always were deviants."

In a sarcastic tone, Amy said "Nice to see you too, Mom."

Rita can clearly sense the tension.

"Erin, could you go and play while we have a grown up talk?"

Erin asked "Who will play with me?"

Rita turns to Jake.

"Jake, would you mind watching Erin for a bit?"

Jake is eager to get out of Dodge.

"No problem."

Erin runs up to him.

"Let's play, Uncle Jake!"

She eagerly takes Jake by the hand. As she drags him out of the room Helen, Amy, Emma and Rita all try to talk over each other.

* * *

 **One of the upstairs guest bedrooms...**

 **Music:** "Queen of Hearts" by Juice Newton

Jake and Erin are sitting across from each other at a kid sized table surrounded by dolls and stuffed animals playing "tea party". Jake looks very uncomfortable. (If it sounds weird just remember that at the time Erin was five, and five year olds have very active imaginations.)

 **Jake:** (VO from 2008) "It was during that play session with Erin that I began to have doubts about my ability to be a good father."

1981 Jake said "I don't get it. You said you wanted to have a tea party. Where's the tea?"

Erin takes a toy teapot and pretends to pour it into Jake's cup. As she does this she talks to a Barbie doll.

"You'll have to excuse Uncle Jake, Barbie. It's his first tea party."

Jake looks a little freaked out.

"Um, Why are you talking to the doll? Are you okay?"

Erin said "Uncle Jake, you have to use your imagination."

Jake is puzzled by Erin's statement.

"Your mother lets you do that?"

Now Erin looks puzzled.

"Yes. Why are you acting weird?"

Jake said "It's just that when I was your age my father never let me do that." He starts to get more and more angry as he speaks. "He told me it was "sissy stuff". Oh, Do I remember all of that. "Man Up, Jake", "Normal people don't do that, Jake", "You just embarrass me, Jake", "KEEP IT UP AND I'LL BEAT YOUR SISSY LITTLE ASS, JAKE". GOD DAMMIT, I WAS NEVER ALLOWED TO BE A KID. I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A GODDAMN SOLDIER." He looks at the floor and shakes his fist. "GOD DAMN YOU TO HELL, MAD DOG. YOU HEAR ME, YOU SADISTIC BASTARD!? ROT IN HELL!"

Little Erin is visibly frightened by his rant.

"Uncle Jake, you're scaring me?"

She's on the verge of crying, which snaps Jake out of his rant. He sheepishly said "Sorry, Erin. I didn't mean to scare you. I just get worked up thinking about my father. My uncaring, rigid, RUTHLESS, SADISTIC FATHER WHO ALWAYS TREATED ME LIKE A WORTHLESS LITTLE..."

His second rant is cut short as a visibly frightened Erin starts to cry. He tries to calm her down.

"OHMYGOD! Erin, I'm sorry. Please, don't cry."

Erin is too freaked out to stop crying. In desperation, Jake begged "Please stop crying."

Erin keeps crying. Jake loses his patience.

"STOP CRYING, DAMMIT!"

Now, Erin runs away in tears. Worried, Jake comes to one conclusion about his potential as a parent.

 _I can't do this!_

* * *

 **A cemetary in Virginia, 1981...**

There is a casket in front of a podium. It's Richard Barksdale's funeral. Mourners are walking by the casket and dropping flowers on it as they say their last goodbyes. First, Emma walks by.

 _Richard, you were such a good man. You were a loving husband and father. A decent provider who built a fortune and brought our family into high society. I will miss you so. In honor of your memory I will try to get Helen to see what a mistake she made marrying a low class worm like Jake Morgendorffer._

She drops her rose on the casket and proceeds. The next mourner is Rita.

 _Dad, I'm sorry I screwed up and married the first rich guy I could land. You were right, Bruce Chambers is a no good son of a bitch. I met a guy with a nice yacht recently, I think I'll marry him. I wish you could've lived to see that day. I miss you, Dad._

Rita drops her rose and moves forward. The next mourner is Amy.

 _Dad, I know we weren't on the best of terms. I hope you can forgive me in death since you never got the chance in life. After all, you eventually forgave Helen for becoming a hippie. I guess I just needed to find myself too. I'm sorry. I love you, Dad, and I'll always miss you._

She drops her rose and moves forward, trying not to cry. The next mourner is Helen.

 _Dad, you were so wonderful. I wish you were still here, I could use your help. Jake and I are having a child and I wanted you to be around to see it. I will miss you, Dad. You were the best father a girl could ask for. When I got married you accepted Jake with open arms._

She drops her rose on the casket and moves forward, crying. Next is Jake.

 _I wish you were still here, Richard. I could really use your help. I'm about to become a father and I'm scared. You could've shown me how to be a good father because you were a good father. I'm afraid I'll lose my temper and mess my kid up the same way my father messed me up. I'm scared._

He drops his rose and moves forward.

* * *

 **Barksdale Manor, evening...**

 **Music:** "Love Action" by The Human League

The whole family is in the dinning hall, sitting down for dinner.

 **Helen:** (VO from 2008) "At dinner that evening my mother once again tried to lay into Jake."

 **Sandi:** (VO from 2008) "God, she sounds like my mother."

 **2008 Helen:** "She is a lot like her, Sandi. I think that's why Linda always rubbed me the wrong way. Anyway..."

Emma said "So, Helen, since you're going to be a mother now I take it that you'll be quitting your job."

Defiant, Helen said "No, I won't."

Clearly disappointed, Emma said "Then how do you expect to raise a healthy child? You can't be employed and be a good mother, it's simply not done."

Helen is visibly offended by this.

"I'll have you know that plenty of women are being mothers with successful careers."

Emma is unfazed. She declares in no uncertain terms that "The only proper way to raise a child is to be at home with them while the father is out providing. That's just the natural order of things. And I don't care for your disrespectful tone, young lady."

Emma now turns her venom on Jake.

"By the way, Jake, Rita told me how you frightened poor Erin the other day. I guess the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree."

Jake looks like a deer caught in the headlights. Helen immediately springs to his defense.

"For your information, Mother, I think Jake will make a wonderful father."

Emma, wanting to cut both Helen and Jake down, said "And what makes you think that? He's going to be the same uncouth psychopath that his father was."

Defiant, Helen said "No, he won't. I'll see to that."

Emma said "And just how will you do that when you work outside the home? Jake, I really don't think you have what it takes to be a good father. In fact, I'd wager that you lose this job and force Helen to provide while you abuse the child all day due to your ineptitude. Do you even know how to discipline a child without hurting them?"

Jake visibly feels very small at that moment.

"Um...Actually...You see...um...uh..."

Grinning triumphantly, Emma said "Exactly, you don't."

Helen gets very angry at this point. With all of her pent up childhood resentment rising to the surface, Helen said "Like you do, mother. You always spoiled Rita rotten while nothing Amy or I did was ever good enough for you. I won't do that to my child, just like Jake won't be the monster that his father was."

On a roll, Emma accusingly asked "And just how do you plan to do that?"

Undeterred, Helen said "By letting our child know that it's loved. After all, it's natural for a parent to love their child."

Emma grins wickedly.

"No, it isn't. I love Rita but I don't love you or Amy."

This gets Amy to join in the argument. She stands up and gets right in Emma's face. Very angry, Amy practically hissed "How dare you say that to either of us! If you don't love your daughters then at least have the courtesy to pretend that you do."

Emma slaps Amy across the face.

"You ungrateful little wench! I want you out of this house!"

"Best news I've heard all day."

With that, Amy defiantly storms off. While she stayed in touch with Helen intermittently over the next few years, the next time they'd see her in person would be Erin's wedding seventeen years later.

Emma said "As for you, Helen, you constantly embarrass me with your choices and your unrealistic notions. You refuse to be a proper lady. Instead of a man of means you marry an odd ball hippie who's the son of a psychopath. I can already tell that you and Jake will be unfit parents."

Helen decides that she's had enough.

"That does it! Jake, we're leaving!"

Helen and Jake storm off. Once they're gone, Emma has an expression that is one of fierce determination.

 _I have to get Jake out of the picture and make Helen see the light before the baby's born._

* * *

 **Montage**

 **Music:** "9 to 5" by Dolly Parton

We see a montage of the next few month. First, we see Helen reading legal briefs at the office. Next, we see Jake looking at his first paycheck with visible disappointment.

 **Helen:** (VO from 2008) "The next few months were a whirlwind for both of us."

We see Jake and a now showing Helen at the lab for an ultrasound.

 **Doctor:** "It's a girl."

Next, we see a split screen of Helen and Emma arguing over the phone.

 **Helen:** (VO from 2008) "My mother kept trying to convince me to quit my job, leave Jake and move back to Virginia."

Now, we see Helen and Jake in lamaze class. Jake looks terrified.

 **Jake:** (VO from 2008) "At the same time I couldn't shake my fear that I'd be a bad father."

Next, we see a shot of Helen in the office of her boss, Mr. Baylor. He looks more like a cowboy than a lawyer.

 **Helen:** (VO from 2008) "My boss refused to give me any more maternity leave than the bare minimum required by law. He also told me that motherhood would eliminate me from consideration for a partnership in the near term because he felt I wouldn't be able to give it my all."

Next, we see Jake and Helen shopping for baby supplies. This is followed by them re-decorating the spare bedroom in their apartment into a nursery. Montage ends with Jake going over the bills and looking totally distraught.

* * *

 **Fall, 1981...**

Jake is in the kitchen cooking...something. Helen isn't home from work yet.

 **Jake:** (VO from 2008) "As the due date for the baby approached Helen's mother had given up on convincing her to leave me and tried a different approach."

There's a knock on the door. Jake turns off the stove and answers. He is visibly stunned.

"Mrs. Barksdale!?"

Emma said "Hello, Jake. May I come in?"

A short time later Jake and Emma are seated across from each other at the kitchen table. Emma looks disdainful. She said "So, you're cooking dinner while Helen is still at work?"

Jake said "She wanted to put in a little overtime so we'll have more money when the baby comes."

Emma rolls her eyes.

"Disgraceful. In my day men and women understood their proper place."

Jake looks very uncomfortable, which Emma notices. She smirks as she says "Jake, I'll get straight to the point. This child that you and Helen are having is my granddaughter. As such I have a concern for her well being and proper upbringing. It is abundantly clear to me that neither of you are fit for parenthood."

Nervous, Jake said "I know Helen would make a good mother."

Emma calmly asked "And what about you? Would you make a good father?"

Jake looks doubtful.

"I...I don't know. I didn't have a good example of a father growing up."

Emma said "And for that reason alone it's obvious that you are a very unfit parent. If you had a terrible father then it's inevitable that you will be a terrible one yourself. Frankly, what my daughter sees in you is beyond me."

Jake is now very nervous. He knows just what an unstoppable force of nature Emma Barksdale can be. He asked "Wh...What do you think I should do, then?"

Emma said "I want you to divorce Helen. Do it for the sake of your unborn daughter. Both her and Helen would have a much better life without you. You're just too damaged to be a stable family man."

Jake looks totally deflated. Emma said "I know you love her, but that's not enough. I will make it worth your while."

Emma reaches into her purse. She takes out a small piece of paper and places it on the table.

"Jake, that's a check for one million dollars. Divorce my daughter and agree to have no contact with her or the baby and it's yours."

Jake is shocked.

* * *

 **In Helen's car, at that moment...**

 **Music:** "Bettie Davis Eyes" by Kim Carnes

As Helen drives home from work, she thinks _I can't believe how unreasonable my boss is being. How am I going to bond with my child in only one week?_

Helen pulls her car into a parking space in front of her and Jake's apartment building. Now very pregnant she hobbles up the stairs to the apartment. She enters just in time to see Jake taking Emma's check. Emma grins in triumph.

"You've made the right decision, Jake."

Helen is instantly suspicious. She asked "Mom, what are you doing here? What's going on?"

Emma said "You refuse to listen to reason so I flew here and had a heart to heart with Jake. He saw my point, especially when I gave him a million dollars."

Helen looks absolutely enraged.

"WHAT!?"

Jake, in a voice that betrays his heartbreak, said "She's right, Helen. I'm too screwed up to be a good father. You and the baby are better off without me."

Helen doesn't know who to be more pissed at, her mother or her husband.

"Jake, how could you!?"

Before Jake can say anything Emma speaks up.

"We're doing this for your own good."

Angry, Helen asked "And how is being a single working mother going to do me any good?"

Emma said "Helen, don't be ridiculous. You can come back home. We'll take care of you and the baby. In time you'll forget this adolescent foolishness. Your daughter will never want for anything and you can find a better man, a better father for your baby."

Helen said "But Jake is the father."

Waving her hand dismissively, Emma said "I think he'd be better as just the sperm donor. This is your chance to finally leave all of this hippie foolishness behind and have your child raised to be a proper young lady."

Helen's eyes narrow. She doesn't even bother to mask her rage.

"HOW DARE YOU! YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO RUN MY LIFE FOR ME! LET ME TELL YOU RIGHT NOW THAT IT'S MY LIFE, MY HUSBAND AND MY CHILD! YOU DON'T AGREE WITH HOW I DO THINGS THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM! STOP MAKING IT MINE!"

Unfazed by the tirade, Emma cooly said "Still not listening to reason, I see. Jake at least understands that he'll be a bad father."

Helen turns to Jake. She asked him "Jake, I want you to be honest. Are you leaving me for the money or because you want what's best for me and the baby?"

Jake sighs.

"I can't lie to you, Helen. Not about something like this."

He hands the check back to Emma, who is stunned by this. Jake explained "I can't take the money. I'm leaving Helen because she's better off with her family than with me. I don't wanna leave her and it breaks my heart to do it, but I'm willing to make that sacrifice if it means she and the baby have a better life."

Now, Emma grins in triumph.

"You're even more reasonable than I thought."

Not ready to give up, Helen said "Jake, the fact that you're willing to sacrifice your own happiness for our child's well being proves that you have what it takes to be a good father. You lost your patience with Erin a few months back, so what? You just scared her, you didn't inflict any deep psychological trauma on her and I know you'll never do that to our child."

Jake looks thoughtful. _Helen's right._ he thought. He finally made his decision. To Emma he said "I'm sorry you don't approve of me, but I love Helen and I will be a good father to our child."

Emma looks taken aback. Helen gets right in Emma's face.

"Mom, I think it's best if you leave, NOW!"

Angry, Emma said "Well, I never. Either you leave Jake or I will write you out of the will, and this time I mean it."

Helen rolls her eyes as she knows this to be an empty threat.

"Leave, Mother. NOW!"

Admitting defeat, Emma hissed "Fine!"

Emma lets herself out. Once she's gone Helen turns to Jake.

Jake said "Helen, I'm so sorry."

Helen smiles. She can't stay angry at Jake for very long.

"I forgive you."

Jake smiles. He said "You know, I think I learned something. Just because I had a lousy father doesn't mean I'm going to be one."

Helen suddenly winces in pain, but Jake doesn't notice.

"Oh, Sure, I'll make some mistakes, but who doesn't?"

"Um, Jake..."

"I won't do what my father did."

"That's nice, Jake, but..."

"I won't repeat his mistakes. And I won't repeat any that I make either."

"Jake..."

"I'm actually looking forward to this."

Helen loses her patience.

"JAKE!"

"Yes, my wonderful wife."

"I'm having contractions and my water just broke."

Jake's eyes go wide with panic.

"GAH!"

* * *

 **Highland General Hospital, November 2, 1981...**

 **Music:** "Urgent" by Foreigner

In the delivery room Helen is giving birth, being attended by a doctor and a team of nurses. Jake is by her side.

The doctor said "You're doing great, Mrs. Morgendorffer."

Helen screamed "JAKE, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR DOING THIS TO ME!"

Jake looks frightened.

"EEP!"

Hours later, Helen is in her own room with Jake when a nurse brings the baby in. The nurse said "Mr. and Mrs. Morgendorffer, despite the early labor she's a perfectly healthy baby girl."

The nurse hands the baby to Helen.

"What name should we put on the birth certificate?"

Helen already knows what to name the baby. She said "Jake, I think we'll give her my father's middle name."

Jake said "Okay. What was his middle name?"

Helen said "Darius. We'll name her Daria. Daria Ann Morgendorffer."

The nurse jots the name down and leaves. Jake and Helen fawn over the new baby. Helen said "Oh, my sweet little baby Daria."

Jake said "Goo-goo."

The baby giggles. Jake's face lights up.

"She likes me!"

* * *

 **Morgendorffer House, November 2, 2008...**

Jake and Helen are finishing up the story.

Helen said "...and that's the story of how you were born, Daria."

Daria is speechless.

Trent said "Cool."

Quinn and Jim both appear to be deep in thought.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Quinn and Jim are talking about the story of Daria's birth. Jim said "That was some story."

Quinn said "I know. It kind of got me thinking."

Jim asked "About?"

"The future. Jim, how would you feel about having kids?"

Jim looks a little freaked, which Quinn notices. She explained "I'm not talking about right now. We're not even married yet. Even if we were, I'd rather wait until we're on firmer financial ground. I mean someday, if and when we're married and our money situation is more certain."

Jim looks thoughtful. Finally, he said "I have to admit, I understand where you father was coming from in that story. I'm afraid that I might repeat my father's mistakes."

Quinn puts a reassuring hand on Jim's shoulder as she says "Jim, you're not your father. I know you won't be like that."

Jim said "That's what I'm thinking now, too. Your father didn't repeat his father's mistakes, which gives me some hope. You're right, now's too soon, but I think we'd make good parents someday."

"Me too."

The couple look into each others eyes.

"I love you, Quinn. When the time comes, I hope to be the one who gives you children."

"And I love you, Jim. I hope my future includes being the mother of your children."

They kiss.

* * *

 **Next Time**

Emma Barksdale...is broke!? HTF did that happen!?


	7. The Fall Of The House Of Barksdale

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme Song:** "Jersey Girl" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game at the shore next. We see Quinn calming down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Trent and Lindy. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"The Fall Of The House Of Barksdale"**

 **story by**

 **WildDogJJ**

 **Jake's office at Morgendorffer and Daughter Consulting...**

Jake is busy at work, by which I mean he's playing with a Rubix Cube. He is unable to solve it.

"Dammit, why don't these things come with instructions?"

At this moment he recieves a message from his assistant, Mariela.

 **Mariela:** (Intercom VO) "Mr. Morgendorffer."

Jake is startled.

"GAH!"

He drops the cube.

"Dammit!"

Over the intercom Mariela said "Mr. Morgendorffer, are you busy?"

Speaking into the intercom, Jake sheepishly admitted "No, Mariela."

"Ms. Morgendorffer needs to talk to you."

Knowing that she means Quinn, Jake said "Send her in."

A moment later the door opens and Quinn enters. She looks very serious. Jake said "Have a seat, Quinn."

Quinn sits down.

Jake asked "What's on your mind, cupcake?"

Concerned about her father's potential reaction, Quinn took a deep breath before speaking. She said "I was just going over the monthly statements and I have some bad news. With no clients we haven't made any money. In fact, we're so deep in the red that in order to stay in business we'll have to cut staff."

Jake said "But it's just you, me, Mariela and Erin."

Quinn sighs, thinking _Now for the hard part._ Out loud, she said "We have to lay off either Mariela or Erin."

Jake said "I can't fire Mariela. She's been my assistant since day one."

Pleading, Quinn said "But I don't wanna fire Erin. Not only is she damn good at her job but she's also family."

Jake, in a rare display of calm, explained "If we keep Erin and let go of Mariela it'll look like nepotism. Mariela might be able to sue us for discrimination."

Quinn looks like she was just punched in the gut.

* * *

 **Lindy's Superior Interiors...**

Lindy's interior design business has fabric and tile samples adorning the walls. Lindy is standing behind the counter looking bored.

 _Damn recession! I haven't had a client in months. If things keep going like this I'll be out of business by this time next year._

At this moment someone enters. He's a young man in his mid to late twenties. He has wavy light brown hair, a perfectly chisled face and wears a tight t-shirt that shows off his muscular build. Lindy sees him and is immediately taken in by his looks.

 _Damn, he's cute! I'd love to bed that stud._

She suddenly shakes her head.

 _Lindy, stop it! He's a potential client and I'm with Trent._ Out loud, Lindy said "Can I help you?"

The guy approaches the counter. He said "Yes, I'm renovating my house. I was hoping to set something up."

Extending her hand, Lindy said "Well, you've come to the right place. I'm Lindy Wilson."

He shakes her hand.

"Travis Hollman."

Blushing, Lindy said "So, what are you going for?"

Travis said "I'd like something that gives my living room a unique vibe. Something that says single yet looking for love. I figure a lovely woman such as yourself can provide just that."

Lindy's heart skips a beat despite her being in a relationship with Trent. She said "So, you want to exhude sex appeal in a non-threatening way."

Travis winks.

"Exactly."

Lindy blushes.

* * *

 **Quinn's office...**

 **Music:** "Single Ladies" by Beyonce

Quinn is seated at her desk and looks like she's about to attend her own execution. She solemnly thinks _I can't believe this. Dad refuses to let Mariela go. I can see why, though. She's good at her job and has been here since Dad started. He's not gonna burn that kind of dedication. The problem is that I now have no choice but to let Erin go. I feel terrible terminating my own cousin, especially since the job market is so tight that she has no chance of finding another job._

Quinn turns on her intercom. _Let's get this over with._ She thought as she said "Erin, could you please come see me in my office. We...we need to talk."

A minute later Erin is sitting in front of Quinn's desk. She asked "What's going on, Quinn?"

With genuine sorrow in her voice Quinn said "Erin, I was going over the earnings reports. In order to stay afloat we have to cut staff. I don't want to, but I have no choice. We haven't had a client in over a month. The problem is that Dad refuses to let go of Mariela. I feel like shit doing this, but...well...you see..."

Erin looks devastated as she immediately understands.

"You have no choice but to let me go."

Quinn solemnly nods.

"I wish there was another way. I'm sorry."

Erin pleaded "Can't you talk to your father? Get him to reconsider?"

Quinn said "I tried. He won't change his mind."

Erin looks desperate as she says "You don't understand. How will I get by without a job?"

Quinn looks a little puzzled.

"Erin, I've been to your place. You live modestly for what I've been paying you. You must have some money saved up."

Erin explained "I did, but I gave it all to Grandma Emma."

Quinn stares in wide eyed, open mouthed shock. This is new, especially considering how incredibly wealthy Emma is. She asked "Why'd you do something like that?"

Erin said "She lost all of her money when the financial sector collapsed. She's broke. The vast fortune Grandpa Richard made is all gone."

Quinn gasps.

* * *

 **Barksdale Manor, day...**

Emma and Rita are in the family room having tea and catching up. Rita said "You know, Brian came by the other day and tried to ask me for money."

Emma looked irritated. After her failed attempt to force Brian and Erin back together she wanted nothing to do with the SOB. She said "Don't give him a cent, Rita. If he blew his half of the divorce settlement on Lord-knows-what that's entirely his problem."

Rita said "After he left I remembered the check you gave me so I could have my house redone. I went to put it in the bank. I got a call from them yesterday. They told me there were no funds to back it up. Mom, are you in some kind of financial trouble?"

Emma immediately gets defensive. She angrily said "Well, I never! To think the bank would be so incompetent as to make such a mistake. Don't you worry, Rita. The family fortune remains intact. It must have been a clerical error."

Rita appears reassured as she says "Thank God. I was really worried for a while there."

Smiling, Emma said "Well, that just shows what a wonderful daughter you are."

Rita smiles until she notices something out of the corner of her eye. She focuses on an open letter on a nearby end table. She is instantly worried as she sees what it is.

 _A letter from a collection agency!? That's odd._

* * *

 **Morgendorffer House, evening...**

Quinn is walking up to the front door. She rings the bell. Jake answers.

"Quinn, this is a surprise!"

Quinn looks very solemn.

"Dad, is Daria home? I need to talk to her."

Jake said "She's in her room reading a book. What's the problem?"

Quinn didn't feel that it was a good idea to tell Jake about Emma's financial woes. Thinking fast, she just said "Girl stuff."

Jake decides not to ask any more questions. He lets Quinn in.

* * *

 **Daria's room, a short time later...**

 **Music:** "The Great Pretender" by The Foo Fighters

Daria is at her desk reading a book when Quinn comes in.

"Daria, I need to talk to you."

Daria sighs as she puts the book down and turns to face Quinn.

"What's on your mind, Quinn?"

Quinn sits on the foot of Daria's bed.

"I had to let Erin go at work today. We can't afford her anymore."

Daria said "Well, I can see how you'd feel bad, but you did what you had to do to keep the company solvent. I'm sure she has some money saved up and she can collect unemployment insurance for a few months."

Quinn said "It turns out she doesn't have money saved up. She explained the situation to me when I let her go. Grandma Emma's broke."

Daria gasps as she goes into wide eyed shock. Quinn explained "Erin told me that Grandma Emma lost everything in the financial meltdown. She's been living off of what Erin's been giving her. Apparently, Grandma Emma's in denial. I don't know what to do. The only people who know are Erin, me and you."

Daria, with a hint of dread in her voice, said "This is a lot to take in. Apparently, Grandma Emma's broke but wants to keep it a secret. The problem is that she can't. Someone will catch on eventually."

Daria sighs. She picks up the phone and dials a number.

Quinn asked "What are you doing?"

Daria answered "Leaking Grandma's secret for her own good."

She puts the reciever to her ear.

"Hello, Aunt Amy..."

* * *

 **A townhouse in the Georgetown section of Washington, DC...**

Georgetown literature professor Amy Barksdale sits in her living room and reads an essay by one of her students. She is very unimpressed.

 _Where do we find these students? Next time I farm grading off to my TA._

She puts an F on the paper she just read. Suddenly, the phone rings. Amy puts down the essay and answers.

"You have reached the ninth circle of hell...Well, my favorite niece! How are you?"

Daria is on the other end while a worried Quinn stands by. She said "I could be better. Quinn just gave me some disturbing news."

Amy said "Let me guess, Jim got her pregnant."

In no mood for deadpan humor, Daria said "No, it's about Erin. Quinn was forced to let her go today for financial reasons."

Amy said "Not surprising since we're in a recession."

Daria said "The problem is that Erin has no savings. She gave it all to Grandma Emma."

Unaware of the full situation, Amy said "Very foolish move on her part. Why did she do something like that anyway? My mother's rich."

"Actually, she's broke."

"Losing a job after giving away all of your money does that. I'm sure my mother will be happy to help."

Daria said "No, Grandma Emma's broke. That's why Erin gave her all of her money."

Amy's eyes go wide and her mouth hangs open.

"How on earth did my mother lose a multi-million dollar fortune!?"

Daria explained "Erin told Quinn that Grandma put it all in the stock market a few years back. She lost everything but the house in the recent financial meltdown."

Amy shakes her head.

"A lot of my colleagues got burned by that, too. The most senior professor in my department had to put off retirement because his 401k evaporated."

Daria said "We're telling my parents next. I'm really dreading that one."

Amy said "I know your mother's gonna go through the roof when she finds out. If I know my mother, she's probably trying to give the impression that she's still rich. She's probably very deeply in debt as a result."

Daria said "What I don't get is why she continues to live beyond her means."

Amy explained "Because wealth and status have always meant more than anything to her. She'll have to be forced to admit she doesn't have that anymore."

Daria sighs. Amy said "I hate to have to tell you this, but you, Quinn and Erin may have to be the ones to confront your grandmother about this. Rita will just go into denial and my mother won't listen to me or Helen, we've both burned too many bridges over the years. I'm sorry."

"I understand. I guess we'd better tell my mom."

"Bye, and good luck."

"Bye, Aunt Amy."

Amy's side of the screen disappears as they both hang up. Quinn asked "Well?"

Daria said "Next, we tell Mom and Dad. After that we may have to plan an intervention."

* * *

 **A building in Virginia marked "York County Sheriff's Dept." , evening...**

Two deputies are escorting a handcuffed and visibly drunk Brian into a holding cell. One is a middle aged man with buzzed gray hair and a beer gut. The other deputy is a young man of medium build with brown hair and a Burt Reynolds style mustache. They shove Brian into the cell. The young deputy barked "You puke in there an' yer gonna have ta clean it up."

As the old deputy locks the door he says "This is the third DUI, ya daggone idiot. I'm lookin' forward to seein' the judge revoke yer license."

Brian just curls up in a corner as the deputies walk away. As the two deputies walk, the young one says "Can ya believe this white trash? Marries into the Barksdales and blows it."

The old deputy said "Hell, fer that kinda money I'da' learned me how to use a bidet."

The deputies laugh.

* * *

 **Morgendorffer House, evening...**

 **Helen:** (VO, off screen) "WHAT!?"

In the living room Jake is sitting on the sofa looking frightened while Helen is standing up and looks shocked. Daria and Quinn have just told her about the situation with Emma. Daria repeated "Grandma Emma is completely broke. She's lost everything but the house."

Helen furiously asked "How the hell did my mother lose a multi-million dollar fortune!?"

Quinn said "According to Erin she put it all in the stock market during the late nineties tech bubble. She moved in into housing and bank stocks when that bubble burst. She lost it all in the recent financial meltdown."

Helen is indignant. She begins to rant "That stubborn old fool! It wasn't enough to spoil Rita, she had to squander everyone's inheritance too! I'm calling her and giving her a piece of my mind."

Quinn and Daria both panic.

"MOM, DON'T!" Quinn shouted as she immediately snatched the phone from Helen.

"Quinn, what's gotten into you!?"

Daria explained "Mom, you're too upset to handle this rationally. Aunt Amy pretty much told us that Grandma won't listen to you or her anyway."

Helen calms down as Daria is right. Then, she looks a little hurt.

"You spoke to Amy before me! Why?"

Daria said "Because we knew you'd fly off the handle when you found out. I needed a pep talk from her as preparation. It's nothing against you, Mom, but you do tend to get irrational when dealing with your family."

Helen calms down once again as she sees Daria's point. Quinn added "I think the best thing to do is take a few days to calm down. We can work on ways to give Emma a reality check after the shock wears off."

Helen is surprised that it's Quinn who's being the most level headed about this. This is not lost on Daria. She explained "Come on, Mom. After everything we've been through over the last decade does it really surprise you that Quinn can be just as logical as I am? It's not like she's still pretending to be an airhead.

Quinn smiles.

"Thanks, Daria."

Helen thought _I really DON'T know my girls as well as I think!_ An epiphany that causes her to instantly feel guilty.

* * *

 **York County Sheriff's Department, day...**

The two deputies who arrested Brian the night before are escorting him from his cell. The old one said "Judge is really gonna throw th' book at ya this time, boy."

The young deputy laughs.

"Looks like yer gonna have to ask ex-granny-in-law fer a chauffer from now on."

Brian shakes his head.

"You know why I was drinking last night?"

The old deputy said "No, and I don't give a shit."

Smirking, Brian said "It's a great story. I called my bitch of an ex-wife to lend me some money and she told me she was laid off by her bratty little c %# of a cousin. Turns out she gave all her savings to her grandmother."

Both deputies jaws drop when they hear this. Brian is pleased to have their interest.

"That's right. Dear old Grandma Barksdale blew her whole fortune in the stock market. She's dead broke."

The two deputies are stunned speechless. The young one whistles in amazement. Brian grins.

 _Let's just see how smug that bitch is when everyone knows she's poor._

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment building, day...**

 **Music:** "Shake It" by Metro Station

Jim is at the computer while Storm is taking a nap. He thought _Well, it looks like I'm up to 900 subscribers and I'm getting thousands of monetized views. With luck, I can stop mooching off of Quinn very soon._

At this point the phone rings. Jim leaves the computer and answers.

"Hello."

Lindy is on the other end of the line. She looks concerned.

"Jim, is Quinn there? She's not answering her cell phone."

Jim said "Hey, Lindy. No, she left early this morning. She'll be back either late tonight or tomorrow."

Disappointed, Lindy said "Damn. Do you know where she went?"

"Yes, but she made me promise not to tell anyone. Sorry."

Lindy looks totally disappointed.

"I really need to talk to her, it's important."

Jim raises an eyebrow.

"So important that it can't wait twelve hours?"

Lindy said "I really need her advice. I met someone."

Jim now raises both eyebrows.

"I thought you and Trent were a couple!?"

"We are. That's why I need some advice. I think I'm falling for this guy but I love Trent."

Lindy gets an idea.

"Jim, maybe you can help me after all. Remember Jessica, that girl who tried to steal you away from Quinn?"

Jim said "Kind of hard to forget something like that."

Lindy said "I've got a new client. His name's Travis and I felt irresistibly attracted to him the moment I saw him. I took him on as a client because I need the money. The problem is that despite being in love with Trent I can't help falling for this guy."

Jim immediately understands.

"How long have you known him?"

Lindy said "Only a few days. That's why I'm so freaked out. I've never fallen so hard for a near stranger before. How were you able to resist Jessica's charms?"

Jim said "By reminding myself that I barely knew her. My attraction to Jessica was purely physical and I love Quinn too much to hurt her just because someone else turns me on. I think your attraction to this Travis guy is just a physical attraction. It'll probably fizzle out on it's own if you don't act on it."

Lindy said "Easy for you to say. You and Quinn live together while Trent lives two hours away from me. The fact that I could easily get away with it if I cheated on him is making this especially tempting."

Jim said "Think about it. How would you feel if you found out Trent was doing something like that to you? How would you handle it if you found out he cheated on you just because the opportunity came along?"

"I'd be devastated if that happened."

Jim continued "Just remind yourself of that when you're with this Travis guy. You and Trent have a good thing going. Just be clear with Travis that your relationship with him is strictly professional."

Lindy is still worried.

"But what if the temptation is too much?"

Jim said "Lindy, you don't have to act on any attraction if you don't want to. You can handle this, believe me. You're stronger than you think."

"Why does everyone always say that?"

"Probably because it's true."

Lindy smiles. _He's right. Trent makes me happy like no one else can. I can't jeopardize that over what's probably just a physical attraction._ Out loud, she said "Thanks, Jim."

"No problem, Lindy."

* * *

 **Barksdale Manor, day...**

Emma is in the family room reading a book when the door bell rings.

 _Blast it! I wish I still had a butler._

She has an intercomm next to her seat. She presses the talk button.

"I'll be right out."

She gets up and grabs her cane. She hobbles over to the front door. As she does she looks around the ornately decorated mansion.

 _Regardless of my financial situation I must maintain appearences._

She finally reaches the front door. After she opens it she gasps as she sees Quinn flanked by Daria on her left and Erin on her right. All three look fiercely determined. Emma said "Why Quinn, Erin, Daria!? What an unexpected surprise?"

Stern, Quinn said "Grandma Emma, we need to talk."

Upon hearing this, Emma has a look of dread on her face.

* * *

 **Morgendorffer house, morning...**

Helen is making breakfast when Jake enters the kitchen. He said "Smells good."

Helen proudly said "What can I say, my pancakes are the best."

Jake sits down at the table.

"Where's Daria?"

Helen said "She and Quinn are having a girls day out. Quinn picked her up an hour ago."

Jake looks guilty. He said "I wonder if she included Erin. You know, to make up for laying her off. Where did they say they were going?"

Helen said "They didn't. Now that I think about it, Daria said she might be late getting back."

Just then, the phone rings. Jake said "I'll get it."

He answers the phone.

"Hello...Hi, Rita...No, I haven't seen her...Okay, now I know where Daria is...Thanks."

Jake hangs up and takes his seat at the table.

"That was Rita. She said that Erin, Quinn and Daria went to Virginia to visit your mother."

Helen's eyes go wide.

"WHAT!?"

Jake's eyes go wide with sudden realization.

"GAH!"

Panicked, Helen shouted "OHMYGOD! MY GIRLS ARE WALKING RIGHT INTO THE LIONS DEN!" She immediately turns off the stove and runs out of the kitchen. A few seconds later Helen's car quickly backs out of the driveway and speeds down the street.

* * *

 **Barksdale Mansion, day...**

Quinn, Daria and Erin are in the family room trying to get Emma to admit that she's out of money. The conversation is not going well. Emma hissed "How dare you three barge in here with these lies and baseless accusations!"

Erin said "Grandma, you told me over the phone what happened. That you lost all of your money when the stock market collapsed. That's why I gave you all of my savings."

Emma turns to Daria and Quinn.

"Girls, I don't know why your cousin's lying to you. I am not poor."

Quinn and Daria clearly don't believe her. Daria deadpanned "And what possible reason could Erin have to lie, I wonder?"

Emma said "I assume that she's still upset over my attempt to force her and Brian back together. She's probably lying out of spite."

Not buying it for a second, Quinn said "Grandma, will you listen to yourself? That was almost three years ago. Why can't you just admit you've lost all of your money?"

"You dare!"

She starts to raise her cane. Quinn gives her a death stare and harshly says "Don't even think about it."

Emma, for once, decides not to hit anyone with her cane.

Quinn said "You think we're doing this to humiliate you? We're not. We're trying to help you."

Emma curtly replied "I don't need your pity or your help."

Erin said "Yes, you do. You have no money. I tried to help but I can't anymore. I already gave you all of my money."

Daria added "It's not like this is a secret anymore. We told Aunt Amy and my parents. I'm sure they'd be willing to help."

Her voice dripping with bitterness, Emma said "Yeah, right. They're probably laughing their ungrateful asses off at me right now. Those two wanted nothing to do with me. They must really enjoy watching me suffer."

Daria remarked "Yeah, that's why Amy wanted us to get you to see the light of reason."

Emma is about to hit Daria with her cane but another hostile glance from Quinn changes her mind.

"You three really need to mind your own business. I'm perfectly well off."

"No, you're not, Mom."

All are surprised to see Rita enter the room. She walks right over to them and holds up a letter. Rita said "When I visited the other day I found this. It's a letter from a debt collection agency. That plus the bad check you gave me proves you're in some heavy debt. I didn't confront you until now because I didn't want to believe it, but I can't keep denying when the proof is right in front of me."

Emma becomes very angry at this point.

"Rita, you're exaggerating. I just had a bad month, that's all. The family's wealth and status remain intact."

Quinn gets an idea.

"Can you prove it?"

Emma now looks like a deer caught in headlights. Quinn said "Here's what I suggest, you show us your investment portfolio. If you're as well off as you claim then we'll drop the subject and apologize."

Haughty, Emma said "If I say no?"

In an authoritative tone, Quinn threatened "Then we keep hammering you on the issue until you change your mind."

Quinn sounded so much like Helen when she said that that everyone noticed. Emma finally relented and said "Fine. You're your mother's daughter, alright."

* * *

 **Music:** "One Step At A Time" by Jordan Sparks

 **Emma's study, a few minutes later...**

Emma is at the computer while Quinn, Daria, Erin and Rita watch patiently. Emma gets up from her seat.

" Alright, I've entered my password."

She looks away out of deep shame while Daria sits in front of the computer and everyone has a look.

Daria said "Bought at $45.25 a share, currently trading at $0.01 a share."

Quinn gasps as she reads the next one.

"Bought at $159.81 a share, currently trading at $0.25 a share."

Defiant, Emma said "Those aren't representative."

Erin reads off the next two.

"Bought at $75.15 a share, currently trading at $0.00 a share. Bought at $95.59 a share, currently trading at $0.11 a share."

Emma winches. Rita looks at the numbers and is horrified.

"Mother, this is..."

Emma looks deeply ashamed. She finally admits "...the entire Barksdale family fortune. Every penny my Richard ever made, the trust funds, the savings, your inheritance. All of it, gone. All we have left is the house, I've lost everything else. And I'm almost a million dollars in debt."

Worried, Rita said "Mother, what are we gonna do?"

Emma looks grim.

"There's nothing we can do. We're ruined."

Daria said "You have no choice but to declare bankruptcy."

Quinn said "Mom can help you out with the legal issues."

Rita is now shaking. She says "B-but...I can't get a job. Even if we weren't in a recession there's the fact that no one will hire a fifty-nine year old with no work history."

Before anyone can offer a solution, the door swings open. Helen enters and immediately gets in both her mother and sister's faces.

"Enough of this! Mother, are you trying to syphon money out of my girls? I'll have you know..."

Rita pleaded "Helen, calm down."

Helen barked "Stay out of this, Rita! Mother, I'll not have you bullying and brainwashing my girls just so you can keep your stupid pride."

Quinn said "But, Mom..."

Helen ignores her and keeps focused on Emma.

"My girls try to help you and you can't handle it, can you!? You just bully them into silence because you're too damn stubborn to admit that you're wrong."

Emma is now indignant.

"What on earth makes you think that's what's happening?"

Helen hissed "Because I know you all too well, Mother. My daughters came here but you couldn't handle the truth so now you start pushing them around and intimidating them into agreeing with you."

Emma immediately bops Helen on the head with her cane. She said "I'll have you know that my granddaughters have just gotten me to accept that I have to file bankruptcy. I was going to get your help on the process but now that you've come in and quite rudely made assumptions I think I'll find someone else who can help me get back on my feet."

Quinn immediately decides to diffuse the situation.

"Grandma, you don't have to do that. Daria, try to cool Grandma off. Mom, let's go to another room. We need to talk."

Helen now looks VERY embarrassed.

* * *

 **A spare room next to the study...**

Helen and Quinn are discussing the situation. Helen said "I can't believe you and Daria drove all the way down here without telling me. I mean, facing my mother alone! What were you thinking!?"

Quinn said "Aunt Amy told Daria that Grandma was more likely to listen to us than to you or her. So we came down here and had finally gotten her to admit the truth when you barged in and starting spewing a bunch of accusations."

"I was only trying to protect my little girls."

Quinn, with an air of authority so like Helen that no one could fail to notice, said "Mom, Daria's 27 and I'm 25. We're not little girls anymore. This is exactly why we didn't tell you what we were doing. We knew you'd get all crazy and do something like this. That's also why Daria told Aunt Amy about the situation before we told you."

Helen looks hurt and offended.

"So, What? I'm radioactive now?"

Staying calm, Quinn said "Mom, you get completely irrational when dealing with your family and this situation called for cool heads. What makes you think Daria and I can't handle it?"

Helen says nothing but looks guilty. Quinn loses her patience.

"WELL!?"

Helen let's out a defeated sigh. She explained "It's not that, I just felt I was the one to handle this. I...I just can't accept the fact that you and Daria are grown up. I missed both of your childhoods."

Quinn is immediately sympathetic.

"Mom, you were there when it mattered the most."

Helen sits down and sighs.

"The truth is that I deeply resent the kind of person I've become."

Quinn gasps. This is new. She said "Mom, how can you say that? You have a successful career and a healthy family."

Helen said "But at what cost? I went to law school because I wanted to change the world for the better but the world changed me for the worse instead. Yes, I finally broke the glass ceiling. All I had to do was threaten a gender discrimination suit after I discovered they would never make a woman partner otherwise. I've only grown more disillusioned since then."

"How come?"

Helen explained "The more I see of what really goes on at the firm, the more I'm disgusted. The other partners are unethical parasites with not a shred of basic human decency. They'd eat their own children to win a case. I thought I could help change things. But it turns out that the complete lack of ethics, along with rampant chauvanism, is so entrenched that change isn't even possible. I feel so ...helpless."

Quinn asked "Then why don't you quit? If you're so miserable at your job why not just walk away?"

Helen said "I can't. With the job market the way it is my income has become vital. Daria can't find work and you and your father's business is in real danger of going under. Now's not the right time."

Quinn said "What about when the job market improves? This recession can't last forever. Maybe you should find something more in line with what drove you to pursue law in the first place. Just think about it."

Helen now looks very thoughtful.

* * *

 **Pizza King, evening...**

Quinn and Jim are having a dinner date. Pizza King is all they can afford at the moment. Quinn said "...so after I got Mom squared away we decided what to do now that Grandma Emma has no money. She's selling all of her estate. She'll move in with my parents while Aunt Rita moves in with Erin."

Jim said "Sounds pretty heavy."

Wanting to change the subject, Quinn asked "So, anything interesting happen while I was gone?"

Jim said "My YouTube channel's starting to bring in some money. It's not much, but it's enough to pay the bills and put food on the table."

Quinn smiles.

"That's great. I knew you could do it. Anything else happen?"

Jim said "Lindy called? She got a new client. She admitted that she has a crush on him and asked me how I resist temptation."

Quinn asked "What did you tell her?"

Jim said "That she has a great thing going with Trent and all pursuing a near stranger would do is ruin it. I think she took that advice to heart. After all, that's what kept me faithful to you over the years."

Quinn blushes and smiles.

"How did I get so lucky to have a guy like you?"

Jim quipped "Did you play with tarot cards before we met?"

They both laugh.

* * *

 **Next Time**

Morgendorffer and Daughter Consulting becomes the next casualty of the Great Recession.


	8. Death Of A Dream

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme Song:** "Jersey Girl" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game at the shore next. We see Quinn calming down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Trent and Lindy. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"Death Of A Dream"**

 **story by**

 **WildDogJJ**

 **The Parking Lot in front of Quinn and Jim's apartment, day...**

There is a camcorder mounted on a tripod next to Quinn's car. Quinn and Jim are looking at the camera. Jim said to the camera "Hello, I'm Jim the Car Guy. Today, I'm going to show my girlfriend how to fix a flat tire. Say hi to the viewers, Quinn."

Quinn smiles sweetly.

"Hi, everyone. I'm Quinn, Jim's girlfriend. I looove a guy who can show me how to fix a flat."

She bats her eyes at the camera. Jim immediately gets to work using a jack. A few minutes later, Quinn's car is now jacked up and the rear driverside tire is off. Jim looks at the camera.

"Now that I have the tire off, it's time to make it flat."

Jim grabs a nail gun while wickedly smiling at the camera. Nervous, Quinn asked "Um, Is that safe?"

Jim, sounding like he doesn't give a shit, said "No, not really."

He shoots a nail into Quinn's tire. Quinn looks scared, but something about it seems fake. Cut to later on, the tire is now fixed and re-inflated.

Jim said "And that's how to fix a flat tire."

With faux sincerity, Quinn said "You're so smart, Jim."

Displaying an equally fake machismo, Jim said "That's why I'm the man". Afterward, he turns off the camera.

With a laugh, Quinn said "Now that I don't do it all the time it's actually fun pretending to be a total airhead."

Jim explained "Exaggeration for comic effect goes a long way toward bringing in the views. I wonder how my subscribers would react if they knew I'm not a condescending jerk?"

They both have a laugh about that.

* * *

 **A one story brick house in Lawndale, afternoon...**

 **Music:** "Hot 'n' Cold" by Katy Perry

In the living room, Lindy is overseeing the installation of a ceiling fixture. The house belongs to her client, Travis Hollman. Observing the arrangement, Lindy said "Good. That central location is perfect. It lends itself to the overall exterior."

Travis enters. He asked "How's it coming?"

Lindy said "Now that I've repainted the walls and ceiling the guys here are installing the fan. It lends itself to an inviting environment."

Travis smiles approvingly.

"It's all coming together. How can I ever repay you?"

"The standard fee will do."

Travis grins.

"You know, Lindy, you're an amazing woman. I like you."

Lindy blushes.

"Thanks."

Travis asked "Would you like to go to dinner sometime?"

Lindy wants to say yes, but...

"Sorry, Travis, but I have to say no. Nothing against you, but I already have a boyfriend."

Travis looks deflated.

"Whoever he is, he's a lucky guy."

Lindy beamed "I'm the lucky one. Trent and I click so well together. I just wish we didn't live two hours apart from each other."

Travis said "Guess you hit the jackpot. Any chance I can get you on the rebound if it doesn't work?"

Lindy can't help flirting.

"MMmmmmmaayyyybeeee!"

She smiles suggestively.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Quinn and Jim are having dinner and talking about the day they just had. Quinn said "I had fun being in one of your videos, Jim. I didn't know you blended comedy with cars."

Jim said "That's what brings in the views. You may be the marketing consultant, but I know what sells on YouTube."

Quinn now looks a little down.

"Speaking of which, after we wrapped I stopped by the office. I was hoping against hope that we'd have some new prospective clients lined up."

"And?"

Looking especially grim, Quinn said "We don't. In fact, I looked at the financials. We can't afford to pay Mariela this month. In fact, even if we lay off Mariela we only have enough money left to pay off our outstanding debts. After that Morgendorffer and Daughter Consulting will be broke."

Now, Jim looks grim.

"At least my channel's making some money now. It's not a lot, but it's enough to cover the bills. How's your father taking it?"

Quinn sighs.

"I haven't told him. This company was his dream. If he knew we were going under it'd kill him."

Jim said "He needs to know that the company's almost broke. From the sound of things you two are on the verge of going out of business."

With another defeated sigh, Quinn said "We have no choice but to go out of business at this point. I'm just afraid to tell Dad. He'll be devastated."

They both look uncertain. Quinn adds "There's also the fact that we'd both be out of a job. Dad has Mom's income as a lawyer to fall back on, but what about me?"

Understanding, Jim said "I guess we have to cut back on things around here. It's not like you can find a job when they're disappearing at a rate of a million a month. Maybe start your own YouTube channel. It might take a while but eventually you'll make enough to live on. Especially given your camera presence."

Quinn looks thoughtful.

* * *

 **Pizza King, day...**

Quinn and Lindy are having lunch. Quinn is telling her about her financial situation.

"...so now we have to go out of business and I'm afraid to tell my father."

Lindy said "Seeing how he's had two heart attacks already and the second one nearly killed him I can see that. Maybe you should break it to him easy."

Quinn gets an idea.

"Jim and I are having dinner with my family on Sunday. I could tell him then, with all of us there to calm him down."

Lindy agreed "That could work."

Quinn now wants to change the subject.

"How about you, Lindy? How are things with Trent?"

Lindy said "He put a new band together, Helpful Korn Candy Explosion. They have a gig this weekend, which means he can't visit like he was planning to."

Sympathetic, Quinn said "Lindy, I'm sorry."

Uneasy, Lindy admitted "It wouldn't be such a big deal if it weren't for my new client. I told you about him."

Quinn raises an eyebrow.

"You mean that Travis guy."

With a nod, Lindy said "Don't get me wrong, Quinn, I love Trent. The problem is I can't seem to stop myself from flirting with Travis. I'm just getting more and more attracted to him. Yesterday he asked me out on a date."

Quinn's jaw drops.

"Lindy! You're with Trent."

"And that's what I told Travis when I said no. The problem is that I really wanted to say yes."

Quinn said "Lindy, you can't cheat on Trent."

Lindy said "I know, I won't but my growing attraction to Travis is getting harder to ignore."

Quinn advised Lindy "Just keep reminding yourself that it would hurt Trent if you did it with Travis."

Lindy said "It would be easier if Trent were here in Lawndale. Sometimes, monogamy feels like celibacy."

Quinn is visibly worried.

* * *

 **Lindy's house, night...**

Lindy is in her bed, asleep and dreaming. She's tossing and turning. As she does, she mutters in her sleep "Mmmmmm...yeah."

She writhes in bed.

"Ooooo...yes...just like that..."

She starts to sound more passionate and intense.

"Soooo...good...you...feel... _gasp_...so...good."

She is obviously having a sex dream.

"Yes...oh, yes"

She starts to buck in her sleep.

"YES...Oh...yes...almost...there..."

Lindy bucks even more fiercely as she moans in her sleep.

"OH, TRAVIS...I'M...YES.."

Lindy suddenly wakes up with a start. She takes note of her surroundings and is both disappointed and relieved.

 _Just a dream._

Just then, her eyes go wide.

 _I just had a sex dream about Travis!_

Lindy frowns.

"Dammit!"

* * *

 **A diner in Lawndale, day...**

Quinn and Stacy are sitting in a booth having lunch and catching up. By now Stacy's pregnancy is showing. She said "Thanks for having lunch with me, Quinn."

"No problem, Stacy. How are things?"

Stacy said "I had an ultrasound yesterday. I'm going to be the mother of Charles Ruttheimer the fourth."

Quinn smiles brightly.

"So, it's a boy. Stacy, that's great."

Stacy said "Sorry we aren't naming this one after you."

Quinn smiles reassuringly.

"That's okay, Stacy."

Stacy asked "So, how have you been?"

Quinn frowns. "Not so good." she said, "It turns out that Morgendorffer and Daughter Consulting is almost broke. We have no choice but to go out of business."

"Quinn, that's terrible."

"Thank God Jim's YouTube channel is starting to make enough money for us to live on. I don't know what we'd do otherwise."

Stacy asked "How's your father taking it?"

Quinn said "I haven't told him yet. I'm waiting until this weekend. He'll be devastated and it'll probably take all of us calming him down to prevent heart attack number three. I'm also dealing with some other drama."

Stacy looks curious.

"What kind of drama?"

Quinn said "Lindy is crushing on another guy despite being in love with Trent. I'm afraid she might do something that she'll regret."

* * *

 **Travis' house, afternoon...**

Lindy is showing off the finished project to Travis. She is trying her best not to ogle him while she does.

"So, Travis, what do you think?"

Travis smiles warmly.

"Lindy, it's perfect. I can't thank you enough."

Lindy blushes.

 _Dammit, Lindy, you already HAVE a boyfriend._

Travis asked "What do you say I treat you to dinner?"

Lindy looks apprehensive.

"Travis, I'm flattered, but I really can't."

"Come on, it's just a platonic meal. I just want to celebrate a job well done."

Travis gets an idea.

"How about I fix you something here? I'm an okay cook."

Lindy looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

"I...I gotta go!"

She runs out of the house.

* * *

 **Morgendorffer House, evening...**

 **Music:** "Twenty-One Guns" by Green Day

Seated at the dinning room table are Helen, Jake, Daria, Quinn, Jim and Emma. The atmosphere is somewhat tense. In a disdainful tone, Emma said "So, Quinn, you and Jim are still living in sin I see."

Helen gives her mother a stern look.

"Mother, you promised to behave yourself."

Emma said "Look, I didn't approve when you and Jake lived together without being married and I don't approve of Quinn and Jim doing it now. It's improper."

Daria, in her usual deadpan, said "And being rude to dinner guests isn't?"

Emma is about to hit Daria with her cane when Helen firmly said "Mother, you know that hitting people with your cane isn't allowed in this house."

Emma grudgingly puts her cane down. Jake breathes a sigh of relief. Helen decides to change the subject.

"So, Jim, I hear your YouTube channel is starting to make some money?"

"Yes. It's not a whole bunch, but it's enough to pay the bills."

Emma cut in with a biting remark.

"As is that's real work. You are living off of Quinn. Disgraceful."

Quinn immediately springs to Jim's defense.

"I'll have you know that Jim's now making more than I am."

That gets Jake's attention.

"What do you mean, sweetie?"

Quinn gasps as she realizes what she just let slip. Not sounding very convincing, she said "Oh, nothing, Daddy."

Jake isn't buying it.

"Is something wrong with the business?"

All eyes are now on Quinn, who is wishing she could become invisible. She said "Um...Well...You see...uh...," she takes a deep breath, "I went over our financials the other day. We can't afford to pay Mariela's salary this month. If we lay her off that only leaves us with enough money to pay off our outstanding debts. Morgendorffer and Daughter consulting is broke. We have to go out of business."

Jake's eyes go wide as he leaps out of his chair.

"GAH! MORGENDORFFER AND DAUGHTER IS BROKE!? GODDAMMIT!"

Emma smirks.

"Once again, we see how pathetic you are."

Helen becomes angry.

"Mother, you listen..."

Jake said "She's right, Helen!"

Helen is stunned speechless. Daria said "Uh-oh."

Jake said "Emma's right, I am a pathetic loser."

Helen said "Now, Jake..."

Before Helen can get another word out, Emma cuts her off with "Finally, he has some common sense."

Now angry, Helen barked "Mother..."

Jake ranted "Dammit! She's right, just like my father was always right! I am a good for nothing loser who'll never amount to anything! (he looks at the floor and shakes his fist) HAPPY NOW, MAD DOG!? YOU WERE RIGHT, I AM A NO GOOD WUSSY LITTLE..."

"JAKE, CALM DOWN THIS INSTANT!"

Helen's attempt to snap Jake out of his rant is immediately undone when Emma says "Let it all out, boy. Like me, you are now just a peasant."

"MOM!"

Jake shouted "I AM A WORTHLESS PEASANT! A WEAKLING WHO CAN NEVER BE A REAL MAN! MY FATHER WAS RIGHT! MY FATHER WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG, GODDAMMIT!"

Emma bops Jake with her cane.

"That's for blasphemy, boy!"

"DAMMIT, MOM..."

Suddenly, Helen looks dizzy and is hyperventilating. Cut to a concerned looking Daria.

"Mom!?"

Helen breathes heavy and looks disoriented. She stands up, which makes things worse. Finally, she passes out, which snaps Jake out of his rant.

"HELEN!"

Horrified, Quinn shouted "MOM!"

* * *

 **The Emergency Room at Cedars of Lawndale, evening...**

Daria, Quinn, Jim and Emma are waiting anxiously while Jake paces around nervously. He said "Ohmygod! What if Helen had a heart attack!? My business is going under and now I lose my wife! GAHHHHHHH!"

Daria said "Dad, calm down."

Jake calms down. Quinn tries to reassure him.

"Daddy, we don't know what happened except that Mom passed out. Let's wait and hear what the doctor says."

Jim added "She's right, Jake. I took her pulse after she passed out and it was normal. She was just unconscious. Like Quinn said, let's wait and see what the doctor says."

As if on cue, the doctor, a brown skinned and raven haired woman in her late 20's, emerges.

"Mr. Morgendorffer, I am Dr. Gupta. I've finished examining your wife."

In a panicked voice, Jake said "Please tell me she's alright, for the love of God!"

Dr. Gupta was a little annoyed. She looked at Quinn, who explained "You'll have to excuse my father, Dr. Gupta. He gets a little too energetic when he's worried."

Dr. Gupta said "Well, my tests found nothing physically wrong with her. I asked her what led up to her passing out and she told me she was arguing with her mother while trying to calm your father down after he received some bad news."

Quinn now looks guilty.

Dr. Gupta continued "She said she felt like bugs were crawling all over her body, she felt dizzy and started hyperventilating until she passed out. It appears that Mrs. Morgendorffer suffered a panic attack."

Quinn's face lights up in realization.

"I can't believe I didn't think of that! I should've known."

Daria asked "How would you know what a panic attack looks like?"

Quinn said "Because Stacy used to get them all the time in high school."

* * *

 **Travis' house, evening...**

Travis and Lindy are in the dinning room having dinner and drinking wine. Cue the first red flag.

Travis said "I'm glad you reconsidered."

Lindy said "Well, it was rude of me to run out on you earlier."

"You have a boyfriend, I understand."

He reaches for the bottle of wine.

"A little more?"

Lindy thought _I really shouldn't._ but said "Sure, why not?"

* * *

Later on, Travis and Lindy are on the sofa and having more wine. They're both now a little tipsy. Cue another red flag.

"Lindy, I hope I'm not prying, but I'm curious. How do you and Trent keep it going despite living two hours apart from each other?"

Lindy said "We talk on the phone all the time and visit each other every chance we get. Still, it's not the same as it would be if he lived closer to me."

Travis, emboldened by alcohol, said "I understand. Um, Lindy, I probably shouldn't say this but I think you're beautiful."

Lindy blushes as her inhibitions rapidly melt away.

"Thanks. I have to admit, if I didn't already have a boyfriend I'd hook up with you in a heartbeat."

Travis asked "So, why don't you?"

Thanks to the alcohol Lindy can't answer the question. Instead, she said in a very flirty tone "Are you coming on to me?"

Travis said "Is that so bad? You're a beautiful woman who's obviously interested."

Lindy said "It would hurt Trent if I did something like that."

"Not if he doesn't know."

That erodes the last of Lindy's inhibitions. The two stare into each others eyes and get lost in the moment. They lean in closer until, finally, they kiss. The kissing quickly escalates in passion and intensity until they start to take each other's shirts off.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, morning...**

Jim, still dressed in just a wife-beater and boxer shorts, is at the computer while the dog, Storm, lays on the floor next to him. He is staring at the screen in amazement.

"No way!"

Quinn emerges from the bderoom in a white tank top and green panties. She has clearly just woken up.

"Goo... _yawn_...Good morning, honey."

Jim is too fixated on the computer to respond, which Quinn notices.

"I'm not that terrible in the morning, am I?"

Jim finally acknowledges her. He said "Quinn, I was just on my YouTube account. I'm looking at that video we made. When I uploaded our video a few days ago I only had one thousand subscribers. The video has over forty-thousand views and my subscriber count...well, see it's now.."

Cut to a famous scene on DragonballZ

 **Vegeta:** "IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!"

Cut back to Quinn and Jim's apartment. Quinn is in wide-eyed, open mouthed shock.

"You're kidding!?"

Jim said "See for yourself."

Quinn looks at the computer screen and gasps.

Jim continued "Not only that, but in the comments they're all begging for more videos of you. I think we just found the solution to all of our financial problems."

Quinn is too spellbound to respond.

* * *

 **Travis' house, morning...**

 **Music:** "Womanizer" by Britney Spears

Lindy and Travis are sleeping in his bed. While the sheets cover anything inappropriate it is clear that they are both naked. It's also clear that they spent the previous night having sex. Lindy stirs and slowly opens her eyes. She looks over and sees Travis sleeping next to her. She immediately sits up with a start, holding the sheets over her breasts.

 _Oh, my God! Is this real!?_

She looks over at the still sleeping Travis and starts to remember. She remembers them making out passionately. She remembers her and Travis peeling each others clothes. She remembers her and Travis running naked into his bedroom. She remembers the foreplay, all the different positions and all the earth-shattering orgasms before they were both totally spent and fell asleep. Lindy now hangs her head in shame.

 _I...I cheated on Trent!_

* * *

 **Halycon Hills Office Park, day...**

On the door to the offices of Morgendorffer and Daughter Consulting is a sign that reads "Out Of Business". Inside is a despondent looking Jake cleaning out his desk. Quinn comes in and is concerned.

"Dad, I'm sorry. I did everything I could to keep this from happening."

Jake sighs.

"I know you did, honey. It...it's just hard to accept that I'm a failure."

Quinn puts a hand on her father's shoulder.

"Dad, you're not a failure. It's the recession. What happened to us is happening to a lot of people."

Jake said "It still hurts. Mom's now got to carry my weight in addition to her mother and Daria. At least you have Jim to support you until you get back on your feet. I just wish this didn't all fall on your mother now. It gave her a panic attack."

"Dad, that's no one's fault."

Jake said "What am I gonna do now? I'm 59 years old. It's too late to start over."

Quinn said "Mom makes more than enough to provide for everyone. I know you'll think of something."

Jake frowns.

"I guess. What about you? What are you going to do now?"

Quinn said "What Jim's doing. I appeared in one of his videos and it sent the number of views and subscribers through the roof. In addition to regularly appearing on his channel we're going to start a joint vlog channel and I'm also gonna start my own channel."

Impressed, Jake said "That's brilliant, Quinn. You really have good business sense."

She kisses Jake on the cheek.

"I learned from the best, Daddy. If you ever wanna make a guest appearance, let me know."

Jake visibly feels better.

* * *

 **Pizza King, day...**

Quinn and Lindy are having lunch and catching up. Lindy looks like she's a million miles away.

Quinn said "...so in order to make it easier on Mom, Grandma Emma agreed to move to Better Days nursing home. Dad's handling the loss of his business surprisingly well and I'm starting a YouTube channel."

Lindy says nothing. She just stares off into space, which Quinn notices.

"Lindy, what's wrong?"

Lindy sighs.

"Quinn, can you keep a secret?"

Quinn nods.

In a guilt ridden voice, Lindy said "I...I did something terrible. Something I'm very ashamed of."

Quinn is immediately concerned.

"Lindy, what did you do?"

Lindy looks at Quinn with pleading eyes.

"Promise me you won't tell anyone."

"I promise. Now, what did you do?"

Lindy sighs.

"Travis invited me to his house for dinner the other night. He said he wanted to celebrate the finished re-decorating of his home."

Quinn gasps.

"Oh, Lindy!"

Lindy said "I should've turned him down, but I didn't. I definitely shouldn't have accepted his offer of wine with dinner. I just found him too damn charming. One thing led to another and...and...I slept with Travis."

Lindy hangs her head in shame.

"Now, I don't know what to do. I love Trent and feel like shit for cheating on him, but if I tell him he'll be devastated."

Quinn said "Lindy, you have to tell him. Imagine how much worse he'd feel if he found out some other way. The best thing to do is tell him what happened and hope he forgives you."

Lindy looks unsure.

"I can avoid Travis easily enough. It won't happen again. If I tell Trent I risk losing him. Maybe, it'd be better if he never knew."

Quinn said "Lindy, if Jim cheated on me I'd be more inclined to forgive him if he fessed up right away. I'm not saying I would forgive him for cheating, but I wouldn't forgive him if he tried to hide it afterward. That would be a total deal breaker."

Lindy still looks unsure.

"I don't wanna lose Trent. I wish I'd never cheated, but it doesn't change the fact that I did."

"Lindy, I'll support you whatever you decide. I just think it'd be better if you were honest."

Lindy looks relieved.

"Thanks, Quinn."

Now, Lindy clearly wants to change the subject.

"So, what's your YouTube channel gonna be about?"

Quinn looks thoughtful.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

 **Music:** "Gives You Hell" by All American Rejects

Jim is mounting a camera on a tripod while Quinn is looking at the baking ingredients set on the kitchen counter.

"Thanks for helping me set up, Jim."

Jim said "No problem, Quinn. Are you sure you want to do this kind of a channel?"

Quinn said "Well, just like you're into cars and insane stunts, I'm a good cook and an expert on skin care. This is the way to go."

Jim finishes the set up.

"Okay, you're all set."

Jim keeps off camera while Quinn turns the camcorder on.

Quinn faces the camcorder and says "Hi, I'm Quinn. You probably recognize me from my boyfriend's channel, Jim the Car Guy. He suggested I start my own channel. He's sooooo smart. Better than the loser I dated in college. I can't believe that guy thought I'd stay with him after he failed to go pro. Also, Jim's better equipped down there. Anyway, welcome to "Smores 'n' Pores", a channel dedicated to cooking good and looking good."

Quinn holds up a mixing bowl.

"Today, we're going to make a Lemon Marangue Pie and then I'm going to demonstrate how to use the leftover marangue as an exfoliant."

Off camera Jim smiles proudly.

* * *

 **Next Time**

Lindy feels bad about cheating on Trent, until she finds out that he hasn't exactly been a monogamy poster child himself.

* * *

 **Author Notes**

1) You've no doubt noticed that when on camera Quinn seems to revert to the ditzy shallow girl persona she had in high school. She does that for comic effect.

2) Now you know how "Smores 'n' Pores" began.

3) Quinn's first video is the genesis of the persistent rumor that she dumped her college sweetheart just because his athletic abilities didn't lead to a professional career.


	9. Busted

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme Song:** "Jersey Girl" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game at the shore next. We see Quinn calming down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Trent and Lindy. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"Busted"**

 **written by**

 **WildDogJJ**

 **The New Jersey Turnpike, day...**

A Chevy Impala SS driving north on the highway. Inside the car Quinn is driving while Jim is in the front seat. Daria and Lindy are sitting in back. Jim is holding a camcorder.

Daria asked "Jim, what are you doing?"

Jim said "Making some money."

He aims the camera at his face and turns it on.

"What's up, you guys? I'm Jim the Car Guy...," he turns the camera toward Quinn, "...and this is my girlfriend, Quinn."

Quinn gives the camera a brief smile. In a flirty tone she says "Hiiiii."

Quinn returns to driving while Jim turns the camera back on himself.

"This is the first video of our couples vlog channel, Quinn + Jim. If you like this hit that subscribe button. Today, we're heading to New York to visit some old friends."

Jim turns to the back seat and films Daria and Lindy.

"This is our good friend, Lindy."

Lindy smiles.

"Hey, everyone."

Jim turns the camera on Daria. She is less than thrilled.

"This is Quinn's sister, Daria."

Impassive, Daria said "I hate everybody."

Speaking into the camera, Jim said "Don't mind her, it just takes her a while to warm up to people."

Jim puts the camera back on himself. He said "We're spending the weekend in New York hanging out with some old friends. Jane Lane is a SoHo based artist and long time friend of ours. We're also gonna hang out with Jane's brother, Trent, who also happens to be Lindy's boyfriend."

With that, Jim turns off the sound and places the camera on the dashboard. Quinn smiles and says "Easy money."

Daria does that famous half-grin.

* * *

 **Jane and Alan's loft in SoHo...**

Jane is working on a painting. She's being assisted by an attractive Asian woman of 26. This woman has on faded jeans and a tie-dyed t-shirt. Her name is Nicole Yagami.

Nicole said "Whoa, Jane! This collaboration is really gonna wow the galleries."

With a smirk, Jane said "Now, aren't you glad you agreed to this."

The doorbell rings. Jane walks over and looks through the peephole. Grinning, she opens the door. It's Quinn, Jim, Daria and Lindy. Jane said "Welcome, amigo and amigas."

A friendly exchange of hugs and handshakes follow as Jane lets them in. Quinn sees Nichole and her face immediately lights up with joy.

"Nicole, how are you?"

Quinn and Nicole hug.

"I'm great, Quinn. It's nice to see you again."

Meanwhile, Jim has his camera on Jane.

"Allow me to introduce myself to your viewers. Jane Lane, artist extraordinnare. Welcome to my humble abode."

Daria asked "Where's Alan."

"On a dig in the Balkans. He'll be back sometime in June."

Daria deadpanned "Must be nice having a boyfriend who's out of country three quarters of the year."

Jane grins.

"I'm a big fan of absentee love. Benefits of the benign neglect also known as my childhood."

They all laugh as they sit on the couches in the center of the loft. Jim hands the camera to Quinn. Quinn puts the camera on Nicole.

"This is my friend, Nicole Yagami. We were college roommates for three years."

Nicole said "Nicole here. I'm an accountant by day, aspiring artist extraordinnare by night and all round badass chick 24/7."

Lindy turns to Jane.

"You didn't tell Trent I was coming, did you?"

Jane said "What am I, stupid? A romantic surprise is just what he needs. He's in one of his comatose phases again."

Lindy said "Good. I want him to be pleasantly surprised to see me."

Quinn turns off the camera. She walks over to Lindy.

"Lindy, can I talk to you? In private?"

Lindy has a sudden look of dread on her face.

* * *

 **The bathroom...**

 **Music:** "Day 'n' Nite" by Kid Kudi

Quinn and Lindy are having a conversation. Lindy is very uncomfortable as the topic is the fact that she cheated on Trent.

Quinn asked "Are you going to tell him?"

Lindy looks very nervous.

"I...I don't know if I even should. It was just a one time thing."

Quinn looks disappointed.

"So, you're gonna lie to him?"

Lindy said "Quinn, I just made a huge mistake. If he never knows, he'll never be hurt."

Quinn said "What if he finds out anyway? Think how much more hurt he'd be if he discovered that you not only cheated on him but tried to cover it up."

Lindy now looks especially guilty.

"I just can't do it. I screwed up and if I tell him I might lose him."

Lindy suddenly has a thought.

"You didn't tell anyone, did you?"

Quinn said "No, I didn't even tell Jim. That's one reason I'm on you about this. I hate keeping secrets from the man I love."

Lindy winces. Quinn's choice of words really stung. Quinn continued "You need to be honest. If you aren't, then when he finds out he'll be more inclined to break up because he won't feel like he can ever trust you again."

Lindy looks guilty.

* * *

 **A subway train, a short time later...**

Lindy is sitting alone and deep in thought.

 _Quinn was trying to help. The fact is that no good can come from telling this to Trent. He'll abandon me, just like everyone else does._

At this point, Lindy notices a young couple sitting nearby. The guy is handing the girl a ring.

"Will you marry me?"

The girls eyes tear up. They're tears of joy.

"Yes!"

The guy puts the ring on her finger. She throws her arms around him.

"I love you so much!"

Lindy feels especially guilty now.

 _Quinn's right. If I love Trent I should be honest with him. But how do I tell him that I love him but that didn't stop me from sleeping with someone else?_

Lindy looks down. She remembers all of the hot sex that she had with Travis that night. She wishes it never happened, but it happened just the same. Lindy is especially tormented by how much she enjoyed it. She now looks like she wants to die.

 _I wish I'd never met him._

* * *

 **A red brick apartment building in Queens, evening...**

Lindy is in a hallway inside the building walking up to the entrance on an apartment. Close up of the door shows the name of the tennent to be "T. Lane". Cut back to Lindy. She takes a deep breath.

 _Here goes nothing._

She rings the door bell. For about a minute she waits there. The tension is practically written all over her face. After a very tense minute the door opens. Trent is standing there wearing a pair of boxer shorts and nothing else. He is visibly surprised to see Lindy.

"Lindy! Whoa!"

Lindy says nothing, but hugs him tight. Trent lets her in. He looks suspiciously nervous. Finally, Lindy said "Trent, I missed you so much."

Trent looks worried.

"Um, Lindy, I wasn't expecting you this weekend."

Lindy said "I wanted to surprise you."

At this point, she notices that Trent is only in boxer shorts.

"Trent, why aren't you dressed?"

At this point, a female voice from the bedroom said "Trent, baby, who is it?"

A young woman who appears to be in her early twenties emerges from Trent's bedroom. She has brown hair and a Britney sized rack. She's wearing one of Trent's shirts and a pair of black panties. She said "Trent, babe, what's going on? Who's she?"

Shocked and horrified, Lindy immediately becomes angry.

"Who the hell are you and what the hell are you doing in my boyfriends bedroom!?"

The brunette said "Excuse me!? I didn't know he had a girlfriend."

Lindy is stunned speechless.

The brunette sheepishly said "Well, this is awkward. We were actually having sex when you showed up."

Lindy eyes Trent furiously.

"You bastard!"

Trent looks like a kid who's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

* * *

 **Trent's apartment in Queens, evening...**

Lindy and Trent are arguing while a slutty brunette watches. Lindy has just discovered that Trent has cheated on her with said brunette. She shouted "HOW THE HELL COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!?:

Nervous, Trent said "Lindy, it's nothing against you. This girl is...well...you see...um..."

Lindy slaps Trent, hard. This prompts the brunette to join the conversation.

'Look, I didn't know he had a girlfriend. We met at his last gig and I thought he was cute. We hooked up."

Lindy gets right in the brunettes face.

"Listen, bitch, you're not his girlfriend, I AM!"

The brunette said "Girlfriend might be too strong a word. We're more like friends with benefits."

"You...You're using my boyfriend as a fuck buddy. You...you...SLUT!"

Lindy slaps the brunette so hard that she falls to the floor. Lindy is about to pounce on her and rip her to pieces when Trent gets in between them.

"Lindy, whoa! Settle down."

Lindy turns her wrath on Trent and gets right in his face.

"Settle down. SETTLE DOWN!? I just found out that you're fucking some skank behind my back and you want me to SETTLE DOWN!? WHAT THE HELL!?"

Trent said "Lindy, it was just sex. It meant nothing."

Struggling not to cry, Lindy said "Well, it means something to me. Dammit, Trent, I loved you and was stupid enough to think you loved me too."

Trent said "Lindy, I do love you."

"THEN WHY ARE YOU SCREWING OTHER WOMEN BEHIND MY BACK!?"

Trent doesn't answer. He puts his arms up to cover his face as he's expecting to get the shit smacked out of him. Lindy takes a deep breath to calm herself down. Finally, she said "That's what I thought. Have a nice life, asshole."

She turns around and is about to leave when she stops. She's so angry that she wants nothing more than to hurt Trent as much as possible. She turns around.

"Trent, remember last month, when you cancelled a planned visit in order to play a gig?"

Trent nods nervously.

Lindy said "You know what I did. I fucked another guy and I LOVED IT. He's way better in the sack than you ever were, so PISS OFF!"

With that, Lindy turns around and leaves, slamming the door behind her. Trent looks like he just got the wind knocked out of him.

"Whoa!"

* * *

 **A restaurant at the corner of Fifth Ave. and 34th street called "Empire Brew House", evening...**

 **Music:** "I Love College" by Asher Roth

Quinn, Jim, Daria, Jane and Nicole are seated at a table having dinner. Quinn and Nicole are reminiscing about their days as college roommates.

Nicole said "Remember when Theta, Theta, Theta tried to recruit us?"

Quinn fondly remembered "I know. It was so cool."

Jim looks at both girls with interest.

"Quinn, you never told me you were a Theta pledge!"

Quinn said "Because I never was. I almost pledged but changed my mind after getting to know some of the girls. Sorority life seemed just a little too much like the Fashion Club."

Jane said "That bad, huh?"

Nicole explained "Those girls seemed really nice at first. It wasn't long before we saw them for the shallow, stuck-up bitches that they were. Quinn dropped them like a bad habit."

Daria added "If only she'd done that with the Fashion Club."

Blushing, Quinn said "What can I say, I was much more mature my first year of college than my first year of high school."

Nicole fondly remembers another incident from her and Quinn's college years.

"Remember when you set me up on a date with that frat boy from Psi Omega?"

A little embarrassed, Quinn said "I'm still sorry about that, but he seemed really sweet when I talked to him in class."

Jim commented "I take it that first impression was wrong."

Rolling her eyes, Quinn said "Boy, was it ever."

Nicole added "He spent the whole date trying to talk me into bed and he wasn't very tactful about it.," She rolls her eyes, "You should've heard some of the stuff he wanted to do. I actually told him just because girls like it in porn doesn't mean they like it in real life."

Everyone laughs.

Jane asked "So, we going up to the top of the Empire State Building after dinner?"

Quinn said "Definitely. After three and a half years back in Lawndale I feel like a newbie in this city again."

Jim, who grew up on Long Island, said "Don't I know it. I haven't been to the top of the Empire State Building since high school."

Nicole said "That's right! You grew up on Long Island, didn't you?"

Jim nods.

Jane said "I wonder what Trent and Lindy are doing tonight."

Quinn is now worried. She knows that Lindy cheated on Trent but none of them know that Lindy just caught Trent cheating on her.

* * *

 **The subway station under Times Square...**

A train pulls into the station. Close up of passengers disembarking. The last one off is a very pissed off Lindy.

 _I hope that skank gives Trent an STD!_

A few minutes later in Times Square Lindy is walking in front of the Jumbo Tron. She is still fuming.

 _The nerve of that asshole. What makes him think he can bang someone else just because I live two hours away!?_

Lindy's expression immediately softens as anger gives way to guilt.

 _I did the same thing to him last month. I guess this is why people think long distance relationships are a bad idea. Maybe we were doomed from the start._

Lindy sighs and hangs her head in shame.

 _I am such a hypocrite. I give in to temptation and then I get mad at him for the same thing. Maybe, after what I did I deserved to get a taste of my own medicine._

Lindy now visibly feels like shit.

 _What do I do now? Is it fair to condemn him for cheating when I cheated first?_

Lindy suddenly looks very disturbed.

 _What if I didn't cheat first!? What if he's been screwing around all along and I was just too stupid to catch on? What if he sees me as just another lay and just claims to care about me in order to keep my legs open?_

Lindy now looks frightened.

 _Mom was right. I am unlovable. I'm just some blond skank to stick it in. I should've known better. Trent betrayed me, just like everyone else who ever claimed to love me._

At this point, Lindy sees a bar among all the lights. She is instantly tempted to resume an old bad habit.

 _Screw it, I need a drink._

She walks into the bar.

* * *

 **Music:** "Fly Like A Bird" by Nelly Furtado

Quinn, Jim, Nicole, Jane and Daria admiring the view from the top of the Empire State Building. Quinn is holding the camcorder and talking.

"We are on top of the Empire State Building right now. The view is fantastic. Check this out."

Cut to the camcorder POV and we see all the way to the Varrazano Bridge connecting Brooklyn and Staten Island. Cut back to third person and we see Quinn turn the camcorder back on herself.

"Pretty cool, isn't it?"

Meanwhile, at another part of the balcony Daria and Jane looking toward Central Park. Daria is feeling oddly sentimental, which Jane notices.

Jane said "Penny for your thoughts, amiga?"

Daria said "I was just remembering how I used to spend afternoons on literary walk in the park. I loved writing there."

Jane said "It is pretty inspiring. I sometimes go there when I need an idea for a painting or sculpture. Is something wrong?"

Sighing, Daria said "I'm homesick for this city. It feels more like home than Lawndale ever did."

Jane puts a hand on Daria's shoulder.

"I have to admit I've really missed you these past six months. Life just isn't the same without you around."

Daria is visibly touched to hear this. Cut to Quinn, Jim and Nicole. Jim is filming more of the view while Quinn and Nicole chat.

Quinn asked "So, how have you been?"

Nicole said "I've been doing good. Why do you ask?"

Quinn looks guilty.

"We kind of lost touch after college. I'm sorry about that."

Nicole smiles reassuringly.

"Quinn, you moved back to Lawndale because your family needed you. It's no big deal."

Quinn explained "I just want you to know that I never forgot about you. I've actually missed you these past few years."

Smiling, Nicole said "Tell you what, Quinn, how about we make a pact. We promise to stay in touch this time."

Quinn smiles.

"Deal."

They shake hands. Daria and Jane join them while Jim turns off the camcorder.

Daria asked "So, call it a night?"

Smirking, Jane said "Are you kidding?"

Quinn said "Yeah, Daria. The night's so young."

Nicole gets an idea.

"I know this really great bar in Times Square. Let's check that out."

* * *

 **The pub in Times Square, a little while later...**

At the actual bar is a visibly drunk Lindy. She holds up her glass.

"Kee... _hic_...Keep 'em cummin'... _hic_.."

The bartender, a bald man with a mustache, looks concerned.

"Are you sure? That's your sixth bourbon on the rocks."

Lindy looks annoyed.

"I... _urp_...I'll tells yuh when I'd has enuff."

The bartender sighs and pours Lindy another drink. Outside, meanwhile, Quinn, Nicole, Jim, Daria and Jane approach the bar.

Nicole said "This is it."

They enter the place. Quinn immediately notices Lindy alone at the bar and gasps.

"Lindy!?"

She walks up to Lindy. Lindy sees her.

"Hey, Qu... _hic_...G'inn... _hic_..."

Quinn can smell the whiskey on her friends breath.

"Lindy, you're drunk!"

* * *

 **Jane and Alan's place in SoHo, evening...**

Quinn and Lindy are seated on the sofa as Quinn tries to sober her up. Jane comes in with a cup of coffee. She hands it to Quinn, explaining "Here you go. It won't sober her up completely, but it'll get her clear enough to talk straight."

Quinn takes the cup.

"Thanks, Jane."

Quinn hands it to Lindy.

"Drink this."

Lindy takes the cup of coffee and downs it all in one gulp.

"Thanks, Quinn."

With obvious concern, Quinn asked "Lindy, what happened?"

Lindy looks like she's in intense pain, not all of it from the booze.

"I...I went to Trent's and...and..."

Lindy starts to cry uncontrollably. Quinn pats her shoulder sympatheticaly.

"It's okay, Lindy. Take your time."

Lindy stops crying and composes herself.

"I caught him in bed with another woman. He's cheating on me."

Jane hears this and is instantly pissed.

"WHAT!?"

Lindy said "He's cheating on me with some slutty brunette. I...I..."

She starts crying again. Very angry, Jane growled "I'm going to have a very long talk with that idiot brother of mine."

Lindy stops crying and looks resigned.

"I deserved it."

Both Quinn and Jane's jaws dropped.

Lindy explained "Last month I cheated on him. It was a one time thing. I didn't mean for it to happen but it happened all the same. When I found out he was cheating I told him about it just to make him hurt as much as I do. I was so upset that when I saw that bar I couldn't resist."

Quinn said "Lindy, two wrongs don't make a right."

Lindy said "They do when I'm a self-indulgent piece of shit."

Quinn reassured her friend.

"Lindy, no. You just made a mistake. Granted, it was a big mistake, but still it doesn't make you a bad person."

Suppressing another crying fit, Lindy said "This always happens to me. I trust someone and they always hurt me."

Lindy buries her face in her hands and starts crying again. Quinn puts an arm around her.

"Lindy, whatever other people may have done to you, you trust me and I've never done anything to hurt you. I never will and I'll always help you."

Lindy stops crying and gives Quinn a curious look.

"Why?"

"Because I'm your friend, and that's what friends do."

Lindy throws her arms around Quinn and hugs her.

Lindy asked "Have I ever told you how lucky I am to have a friend like you?"

Quinn said "You don't have to."

* * *

 **Trent's apartment in Queens, later that evening...**

 **Music:** "Mary Jane" by Rick James

Trent is sitting alone on the couch. He has a lighter in one hand and a bong in the other. He takes a hit, holds it for a few seconds and then exhales. As he takes a second hit we hear the lyrics "I'm in love with Mary Jane, she's my main thang." There's a knock on the door. This is followed by Jane's voice saying "Yo, Trent, you awake?"

Trent gets up and opens the door. Jane stands there looks angry. Trent, on the other hand, looks clueless.

"Hey, Janey."

Scowling, Jane said "We need to have a little talk, young man."

Trent lats Jane in and closes the door behind her. Jane takes a seat on the couch. Trent holds up the bong.

"Wanna take a hit?"

Jane just scowls.

"I guess that means no."

He puts the bong aside and sits next to Jane.

Jane said "I just had an interesting conversation with Lindy. Something about her catching you in bed with another woman."

Trent looks guilty, which tells Jane everything she wants to know.

"Trent, what the hell!?"

Trent gets defensive.

"Jane, since when do you care if I cheat on my girlfriend?"

Jane hissed "Since said girlfriend is someone I consider a friend. Lindy is at my place, drunk and crying on Quinn's shoulder thanks to you."

Trent explained "Jane, I wasn't expecting Lindy. She lives two hours away in Lawndale."

Jane's eyes go wide.

"AND YOU THINK THAT EXCUSES CHEATING!?"

Trent said "She told me she was cheating on me."

Jane folds her arms.

"And was this before of after she caught you with the other woman?"

Trent hangs his head and looks guilty.

"After."

Jane said "That's what I thought. She admitted that she felt bad about cheating on you. She was actually gonna confess and ask for your forgiveness. But after she caught you with the other woman she decided to get drunk instead. How did it feel when she told you she cheated?"

Trent now looks deeply ashamed.

"It hurt."

"And she feels guilty. How do you think she feels now that she knows you've been cheating on her?"

Trent sighs.

"I don't know."

Jane said "For a 33 year old man, you're surprisingly childish. You know that? She feels even worse than she did before. Not only does she have to carry the guilt of having cheated on you she also has to deal with the hurt you caused by cheating on her. Times like this make me glad you and Daria never got together."

Trent looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

"What should I do?"

Jane said "You and Lindy need to work this out."

Trent looks thoughtful.

* * *

 **A Starbucks in Mid-Town, day...**

Quinn and Lindy are seated at a table having coffee and waiting for Trent to show up. Quinn asked "Are you sure you're up for this, Lindy?"

Lindy said "No, but Trent and I need to have this conversation. We need to decide whether this relationship should continue or end, and if we continue how best to move forward."

Quinn nods in understanding. At this point, Trent walks in through the door. He immediately spots Quinn and Lindy. Trent sighs and walks toward them.

"Hey. Lindy," he said,"... you wanted to meet here?"

Quinn told Lindy "I'll be outside if you need me."

She gets up and leaves. Trent takes her seat.

Lindy said "Trent, I cheated on you and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to but I did just the same. I hope you can forgive me."

Trent said "Considering what I did, it'd be hypocritical if I didn't."

Lindy takes a sip of her coffee.

"Please, tell me that girl was the first time you cheated on me. I want the truth."

Trent looks confused.

"Do you want the truth, or do you want me to tell you it was the first time?"

Lindy looks like she's about to throw her coffee in Trent's face, but she thinks better of it.

"Why?"

Trent, visibly guilty, explained "I never wanted to hurt you, Lindy. The problem is that you live two hours away while I'm in a line of work where I'm constantly being tempted by other women. I tried to resist and be faithful but I just couldn't do it. I'm sorry."

Lindy appears to be both hurt and understanding. She is now facing Trent's biggest weakness, his inability to do anything that requires significant, prolonged effort. She finally said "I understand. I tried to resist temptation and just couldn't do it either. Do you love me?"

Trent said "I do, but I just can't be faithful, no matter how hard I try."

Lindy said "I know I screwed up. I tried to be faithful and failed, but I love you enough to try harder."

Trent said "Maybe we just can't be faithful to each other all the time. Could we try an open relationship? We're monogamous when we're together but free to be with others when we're not."

Lindy explained "I can't do that, Trent. I'd go crazy knowing that you're with other women. I just can't bring myself to share a guy with other girls. I'm sorry."

Trent looks resigned.

"I can try to be faithful, but I know I'll fail."

Lindy sighs.

"Then I guess we have to break up."

Trent looks both hurt and resigned.

"I guess. I just don't think I'm cut out for monogamy."

Lindy said "I don't know what I'm gonna do now."

Trent said "Maybe we had too much in common. Look at Quinn and Jim. They're similar in all the ways that matter, but they also have some differences. The key is that they're different in ways that balance each other out. Maybe you should find someone like that."

Lindy looks thoughtful.

* * *

 **A sidewalk in Manhattan, a short time later...**

 **Music:** "Get Out Of The City" by Ivy

Quinn and Lindy are walking along the sidewalk. Lindy looks solemn, which Quinn notices.

"Lindy, are you okay? You haven't said a word since we left the Starbucks."

"Trent and I broke up."

Quinn looks concerned.

"Lindy, I'm so sorry."

Lindy just sighs.

Quinn said "Lindy, I know it hurts, but it'll be okay."

Lindy said "Part of me knows that. We just didn't have what it takes to make it work. Breaking up was the only sensible thing to do. It still hurts like hell."

Quinn puts a hand on Lindy's shoulder.

"I know, Lindy. You can always talk to me about this."

Lindy sighs.

"You know how lucky you are to have a guy like Jim. I wish I could find someone like that."

"You will, Lindy."

Not quite believing Quinn, Lindy said "I know, I just have to keep trying. Problem is how can I find someone when I'm so messed up. Who wants a recovering alcoholic with abandonment issues?"

Quinn said "Lindy, there's no such thing as a person who doesn't have issues. You don't have to go through this alone. You have me, Jim, Stacy, Chuck, Jane, Daria and everyone else. We're all more than happy to give you help when you need it."

Lindy is almost moved to tears by that.

"Why are you always there for me?"

Quinn said "Duh, I'm like that with all of my friends."

Lindy said "Anyone who has you as a friend is extremely lucky."

Quinn and Lindy hug.

"Thanks, Lindy."

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment in Lawndale, evening...**

Quinn and Jim are sitting on the sofa and talking. Quinn said "I hope Lindy's okay."

Jim said "She has you, me and everyone else to lean on. I'm sure she'll be fine."

Quinn said "I still worry. You know that she's a recovering alcoholic, right?"

Jim said "I know, but that night at the bar was the first time I'd ever seen her drunk. Except for light social drinking I've never seen her drink."

Quinn explained :I staged an intervention with her eight years ago. This weekend was the first time she's been drunk since then."

Jim puts all the pieces together.

"So, she used to be like that all the time?"

Quinn said "She once got fired for drinking on the job. I'm afraid this breakup will cause her to hit the bottle again. I don't know what to do."

Jim explained "There's nothing we can do. Lindy's not a little girl, she's a 30 year old woman. All we can do is keep an eye on things and be there when she needs help. And who knows? Maybe she won't wind up turning to the bottle over this. We just have to wait and see."

Quinn visibly feels better. She throws her arms around Jim.

"Do I ever tell you how lucky I am to have you?"

Jim said "I'm the lucky one."

They kiss.

* * *

 **Lindy's house, evening...**

 **Music:** "Never Say Goodbye" by Bon Jovi

Lindy is sitting on the couch staring at a picture. It's a picture of her and Trent holding hands and smiling. Lindy wipes a tear off of her cheek. She puts the picture away. Next, she reaches into her jacket and pulls out a bottle of Jack Daniels. She proceeds to drink the whiskey straight from the bottle.

* * *

 **Next Time**

Quinn has to deal with two problems at once: Stacy's post-partum depression and Lindy's relapse.


	10. Moms and Drunks

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme Song:** "Jersey Girl" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game at the shore next. We see Quinn calming down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Trent and Lindy. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"Moms And Drunks"**

 **written by**

 **WildDogJJ**

 **Cedars of Lawndale, day...**

Chuck and a no longer pregnant Stacy are in a hospital room. Stacy is resting in the bed while Chuck waits by her side. A nurse comes in with a new born infant. She hands the baby to Stacy.

"Here you are, Mrs. Ruttheimer. Your new born son."

As Stacy holds the baby she appears surprisingly indifferent. Chuck, on the other hand, can hardly contain his excitement. He said "I can't believe it! Stacy, we're parents now!"

The nurse picks up a pen and clipbaord.

"What name should I put on the birth certificate?"

Stacy lets out a disinterested sigh but no one notices. Chuck, on the other hand, is so excited that he beams the name "Charles Hans Ruttheimer the fourth."

The nurse jots down the name and leaves. Chuck turns his attention to his wife and their new born son. He sees Stacy looking like a radiant goddess and the baby looking at his father with adorable blue eyes full of innocence and wonder. Completely in awe, Chuck said "Isn't this wonderful?"

Stacy, sounding apathetic, said "Yeah, great." When she looks at the baby she sees a ball and chain.

* * *

 **Stacy's hospital room, a few hours later...**

Stacy and Chuck are being visited by Quinn, Jim, Daria, Lindy and Sandi. Chuck is holding the baby in his arms and proudly showing him off. The visitors are all fawning over the infant while Stacy looks totally disinterested. Sandi rubs the baby's chin with her index finger. As she does this, she says "Awww, You're sooo cute. Yes you are. Goo-goo."

The baby giggles.

Quinn said "He's so adorable."

Chuck turns to Quinn.

"Do you wanna hold him?"

Quinn is visibly flattered by the offer. She turns to Stacy.

"Can I?"

Sounding completely disinterested in her own child, Stacy said "Yeah, whatever. I'll have plenty of time with him.," her tone becomes even more depressed, "Twenty long, dark years."

Thinking nothing of his wife's apathy, Chuck said "You'll have to excuse her. The labor took a lot out of her."

He hands the baby to Quinn.

"This is your godmother, Quinn."

Quinn cradles the baby in her arms and falls in love with the child almost instantly.

"Oooooo, Aren't you the most precious little thing."

Stacy notices that Tiffany isn't there.

"Where's Tiffany?"

Sandi explained "She took off and went to Las Vegas yesterday. She didn't say why but she told me she'd be there for a whole month. By the way, Chuck, what are you calling him?"

"Charles Ruttheimer the fourth. We haven't decided what to call him for short yet."

At this point, Daria deadpanned "How about Upchuck 2.0?"

They all stare disapprovingly at Daria.

"What?"

Lindy walks up to Quinn and looks at the baby.

"He'z sooooo ad... _hic_...adorable!"

Quinn sniffs the air and what she smells causes her to look disapprovingly at Lindy. She hands the baby back to Chuck.

"Could you excuse us foe a moment?" She then turns to Lindy. "I'd like to have a little word with you in private."

Chuck takes the baby back as Quinn and Lindy step outside.

* * *

 **The hallway a minute later...**

A visibly tipsy Lindy said "Wassup, Quinn?"

Quinn scowls at Lindy.

"How many drinks have you had?"

"None."

Quinn doesn't believe her.

"Bull shit! You're slurring words and your breath reeks of whiskey."

Lindy lets out a resigned sigh.

"Quinn, I'm sorry. I'm still reeling from the breakup and liquor helps me deal."

Concerned, Quinn said "Lindy, getting wasted isn't the answer."

Lindy protested "Quinn, I'm just a little tipsy. I'll prove it by holding the baby."

Quinn's concern shifts from Lindy to the baby. She is the child's godmother, after all.

"No, you won't."

Lindy snapped "That's Chuck and Stacy's decision. Why do you care?"

Quinn explained "Because they trust me with the responsibility of raising that child if something happens to them."

Lindy looks guilty.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Quinn and Jim are on the couch watching TV while Storm rests at their feet. On the TV screen and is a police woman in an interrogation room grabbing a suspect by his genitals.

 **TV Announcer:** "She's a police officer with a unique way of getting suspects to talk. The castrating cop, next on Sick, Sad World."

Quinn scrunches her nose.

"Ewww!"

Jim said "I can't believe they brought this back. I used to love this show."

Quinn explained "During it's original run I was more into Fashion Vision, but I have to admit this has kind of grown on me over the years."

Jim turns and faces Quinn. He looks a little concerned.

"Quinn, did you notice that when we visited Chuck and Stacy she seemed a little...disinterested?"

Quinn said "To be honest, I was too busy worrying about Lindy. You know she was drunk during the visit, right?"

Jim said "Between the slurred words and whiskey breath I had my suspicions."

"She's taking the breakup with Trent really hard. So hard that she's clearly got a drinking problem again."

Jim said "No surprise there. Something like that often triggers a relapse in recovering alcoholics. I'm more concerned by the fact that Stacy appears to have no maternal instincts toward her own child. That's not normal."

Quinn looks thoughtful for a second.

"Maybe she has post-partum depression. I learned about that in a Human Development course I took in college. It's the result of all the hormone changes."

Jim explained "I'm a little worried. Maybe I'm being alarmist, but remember that news story about a woman who had it so bad that she drowned her own baby?"

Quinn is immediately dismissive of her boyfriend's concerns.

"Like Stacy would ever do that to anyone. I think you're worrying too much."

Jim said "Maybe, but you're the child's godmother. I think you should check up on them from time to time, just to be sure."

Quinn looks thoughtful.

* * *

 **A Dance Club called "Trendys", later that evening...**

 **Music:** "Just Dance" by Lady Ga Ga

A bunch of people are on the dance floor. Among them is Lindy, who is shamelessly bumping and grinding on a guy in time with the music. Close up of Lindy's face shows that she's drunk. She suddenly reaches back and pulls the guy so close that it's almost obscene. Next, she kisses him very sloppily as he begins to feel her up. Meanwhile, Sandi is at the bar. She does not appear to be having a good time as she thought _I can't believe my date stood me up! Who still does that in their late 20's!?_

Sandi takes a sip of her club soda.

 _Maybe I'll find a guy to hook up with._

She starts to scan the dance floor. When Sandi does this she spots Lindy practically dry humping a guy, not the one she was just with. She's so wasted that she's letting random guys grope her. The sight leaves Sandi in wide eyed, open mouthed shock.

 _Lindy!?_

Sandi walks over to Lindy and taps her shoulder to get her attention. Lindy turned around and said "Heeeyyyyy... _hic_...Saaaannnnndeeeeee... _hic_.."

Sandi can smell the liquor on Lindy's breath.

"Lindy, you're drunk."

"Nooo, 'm nod.. _hic_..."

Lindy spins around and grabs a random guy.

"'ur hodd... _hic_.."

Lindy suddenly lets go of the guy and looks nauseous. She turns to Sandi.

" _hic...gulp...urp...gulp_...BLEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHH"

She pukes all over Sandi.

* * *

 **Chuck and Stacy's house, night...**

In the master bedroom Stacy sleeps soundly while Chuck is laying awake. He looks like he hasn't slept in a week.

 _I can't believe I'm doing all of the work. Stacy doesn't even want to hold the baby. I'm changing diapers, singing lullibye's, giving it formula and soothing him when he's upset. Stacy acts like she wants nothing to do with the child._

Just then, the sound of the baby crying can be heard. It wakes Stacy. Sleepy, she said "Chuck, can... _yawn_...can you check on the baby?"

Until now, Chuck said yes. Now, he's tired of doing all of the work while Stacy mopes around and ignores the baby.

"Why don't you check on the baby? I've been doing all of the work since we brought Chucky home."

Stacy said "I... _yawn_...I need to sleep."

Annoyed, Chuck said "You've slept soundly every night since giving birth while I haven't slept a wink since we brought him home from the hospital. We're supposed to be a team, but I'm doing all the work."

The baby can be heard crying more loudly. Chuck pleaded "Just check on him, please? I can't do it every single time."

Stacy is now visibly annoyed.

"I need sleep and I need you to shut that little monster up."

Chuck is visibly concerned by Stacy's harsh tone.

"Stacy, he's OUR son and OUR responsibility. I need a break. What if he's sick?"

Stacy's reply was a curt "I don't care. I wish I'd never had the little shit."

Chuck is shocked speechless.

* * *

 **The Coffee Snob, day...**

Sandi and Quinn are having coffee and chatting. Sandi is telling Quinn about the previous night.

"...so I went to the club myself and ran into Lindy. She was VERY drunk, grinding on guys, letting strangers cop feels and she even puked on me."

Quinn scrunches her nose in disgust.

"Ewwww!"

Sandi said "My sentiments exactly. She's getting out of control again. So, how have you been?"

Quinn looks concerned.

"Have you talked to Stacy, lately?"

Sandi said "Not since the hospital visit. Why?"

Quinn said "Jim noticed something about her interaction with the baby that seems a little...off."

Sandi looks thoughtful for a second.

"Now that you mention it, she did seem a little disinterested in her baby. I just assumed she was exhausted from giving birth. Why?"

Quinn explained "Shouldn't a mother naturally love her own child? Stacy seems to feel almost indifferent toward hers."

Sandi said "I'm probably not the best person to provide insight on the matter.," her voice takes on a bitter tone, "After all, my mother disowned me for being bisexual."

Quinn notices the hurt in Sandi's voice.

"Sandi, I'm sorry."

Sandi shrugs it off.

"Don't be. What's done is done. Besides, it's not as if I didn't eventually find a new family. One that actually accepts me as I am."

Quinn is visibly moved by this.

"I guess I could pay Stacy a surprise visit. Maybe she'll tell me what's going on. I'm her baby's godmother, after all."

* * *

 **Lindy's house, afternoon...**

A visibly hung-over Lindy finally wakes up. She groans and rubs her temples.

"Ow...My head."

She looks around.

 _How'd I get home? Last thing I remember is doing shots at that club. Everything else is a blank._

With sudden worry Lindy looks at the bed. There's no sign that anyone else was there recently. Lindy's visibly relieved.

 _At least I didn't have a regretable hookup this time._

In the kitchen, a short time later. Lindy is now showered and dressed. She's waiting for her coffee to finish brewing.

 _I'm backsliding. I haven't had a hangover this bad since college._

The coffee finishes brewing and Lindy pours herself a cup. She groans and rubs her head.

 _God, I wish this headache would go away._

Lindy immediately eyes the liquor cabinet.

 _Might as well._

She walks to the cabinet and gets out a bottle of vodka. She pours it into her coffee.

* * *

 **Chuck and Stacy's house, afternoon...**

Quinn and Stacy are sitting on the living room couch and talking. Chuck is sound asleep in an easy chair. Quinn asked "Where's little Chucky?"

Stacy said "Sleeping in his crib, thank God. If I had to listen to that thing crying one more time, I would've gone postal."

Hearing Stacy speak like that about her own child makes Quinn visibly concerned.

"Stacy, how are you feeling? Are you okay?"

Stacy replied with a bitter sounding "No".

Quinn gasps.

Stacy, upon hearing Quinn gasp, explained "I'm worried. I expected to have an instant bond with the child because of maternal instinct. The problem is that I feel absolutely nothing for this baby. I can't even bring myself to see him as a human being. It feels like the baby is just some foreign object that my body expelled after nine months. I go back and forth between feeling nothing and wishing the baby would just go away."

Quinn is both shocked and appalled to hear this.

"Stacy, how can you say that about your own child?"

Stacy said "I feel nothing but growing resentment. I was so freaked out by my lack of interest in the baby that I actually called my mom to find out if that was normal. She said she never had any maternal instinct or love for me either. I believe that, given how cold she was to me while I was growing up."

Quinn, recalling all the times she went to Stacy's back in high school, said "No offense, Stacy, but the only person I know who's more cold hearted than your mom is Sandi's mom."

"It seems genetic in my family. My mother never loved me and I don't love my child. I wonder if I ever will."

 _That explains why Stacy was so emotionally needy when she was younger. She was desperate for the love she wasn't getting at home._ Out loud, she said "Stacy, you're not your mother. Frankly, you need to find out what's making you feel this way."

At this point, the sound of a baby crying can be heard from upstairs. Stacy looks pissed.

"That little shit is a GODDAMN STONE AROUND MY NECK!"

Stacy looks upstairs.

"SHUT UP, YOU LITTLE SHIT

Quinn is understandably freaked out.

* * *

 **Morgendorffer House, evening...**

Quinn and Daria are sitting on Daria's bed watching TV. On the TV screen is a woman lighting a car on fire.

 **TV Announcer:** "What happens when a kid pushes mommy too far. Burn, baby, burn, next on Sick, Sad World."

Daria has her trademark half-smile while Quinn looks deeply troubled.

Daria said "Thank God they brought Sick, Sad World back."

Quinn said "I have to be honest, a mom torching her kids hits a little too close to home for me right now."

Daria is visibly interested.

"What do you mean, Quinn?"

Quinn said "Jim and I noticed that Stacy was acting really cold toward her baby. I visited Stacy earlier today and she admitted to me that she has no feelings toward her baby at all, except for a growing feeling of resentment. She told me that her mother never loved her and she's worried that she'll never love her child either."

Daria said "So, Stacy was love starved as a child. That explains a lot."

Quinn said "I'm worried, especially after seeing what we just saw on TV."

Daria explained "Quinn, post-partum psychosis on that level is extremely rare. That's why it's so newsworthy when it happens."

"Alright, so Stacy probably won't get homicidal over this. I'm still worried that she might never love her child. That's not normal."

Daria explained "A mother not loving her child is rare, but it does happen. Look no further than Grandma Emma for proof of that. She openly favors Aunt Rita over Mom and Aunt Amy."

Quinn asked "You think that's what's happening with Stacy? That she has no maternal instincts and never will?"

Daria said "No, but it is possible. I think the more likely scenario is post-partum depression. The hormones are readjusting now that she's given birth and it's making her moody. Add to that the stress of a new baby and she probably feels overwhelmed by the situation."

"What if she never bonds with the baby?"

Daria asked "Why are you so concerned? It's not like you're going to be a mom soon."

Just then, something occurs to Daria.

"Are you?"

Quinn said "No. I'm not ruining this figure before I get a ring. I'm just worried. What if, when I do have kids, I go through the same thing?"

Daria asked "How do you feel about Stacy's baby?"

Beaming, Quinn said "Are you kidding? Little Chucky's so adorable that I fell in love with the little tyke on sight. I feel maternal instincts toward a kid that isn't even mine."

Daria said "Just imagine how you'll feel when the kid is yours?"

Quinn is visibly relieved.

"I guess Stacy knew what she was doing when she asked me to be the godmother. But what if Stacy never loves her kid?"

Daria said "I doubt that'll happen, but if it does you can fill in. Be that cool Aunt that the child can feel safe and bond with. Be to Chucky what Aunt Amy has become to me."

Quinn looks thoughtful.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment building, evening...**

Quinn and Jim are in bed. Quinn is telling Jim about what's been going on.

"...so I'll just keep an eye on things and try to develop a healthy relationship with the baby myself."

Jim said "Sounds like a plan. You really care about that baby, don't you?"

Quinn said "Duh, Jim, he's my best friend's son."

Jim said "It's just that I've noticed that you always seem to go the extra mile for the people you care about. It really says a lot about you as a person."

Quinn kisses Jim on the cheek.

"You're so sweet."

She suddenly looks thoughtful.

* * *

 **The Morgendorffer House, ten years earlier...**

A fifteen year old Quinn has just come home from a date and found Helen waiting up for her.

Annoyed, the teenager said "Muh-ohm, I didn't break curfew. Why are you waiting up for me?"

Helen said "I just wanted to be sure you were alright, that's all."

Rolling her eyes, Quinn said "You know I can handle myself just fine. Why do you keep worrying?"

Helen explained "You'll understand when you have children of your own."

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, ten years later...**

Quinn is struck by the realization that she has a very strong maternal streak. The phone rings.

"I'll get it."

Quinn answers the phone.

"Hello..." Her eyes go wide, "Lindy!?...What do you mean you've been arrested!?...DUI!?...Dammit!"

* * *

 **A street in Lawndale, night...**

 **Music:** "You Look Better When I'm Drunk" by White Tie Affair

Quinn's car is driving down the street. Inside, a pissed off Quinn driving while a still tipsy Lindy rides shotgun.

Quinn said "I can't believe this. I have to bail your ass out of jail because you drove drunk!"

Lindy said "Quinn, I only had a couple of drinks. I was still good to drive."

"Not according to the breathelizer."

"Quinn, what's your problem?"

Quinn said "Lindy, I get a call late at night asking me to bail you out after you were nailed for drunk driving. What if that cop hadn't pulled you over? What if you got into a car accident or, even worse, ran someone over and killed them? What then?"

Rolling her eyes, Lindy said "God, Quinn, why so morbid?"

"Because that's what can happen when you drink and drive. Now, I'm gonna have to chauffer you around for the next six months."

"No you don't, Quinn. I can still drive."

"Not with a suspended license you can't. Lindy, I don't wanna spring another intervention on you but you're not leaving me any options."

"Quinn, it's not like I can afford to go to rehab."

Firm, Quinn said "No, but AA meetings are free. You stayed sober for eight years without rehab by doing that."

Folding her arms, Lindy said "I'm not going to AA meetings."

Quinn channels her inner Helen.

"Like I'm giving you a choice. I'll drive you to the meetings and if you still don't wanna go consider this: my Mom's a lawyer who can easily be talked into getting me power of attorney over you."

Lindy lets out a defeated sigh. Quinn truly is her mother's daughter.

* * *

 **Chuck and Stacy's house, day...**

Quinn and Stacy are sitting in the living room and talking. Neither Chuck nor Chucky are present.

Quinn said "So I finally got her to go back to attending AA meetings."

Stacy said "That's good."

Quinn asked "Where's the baby?"

Stacy said "In his crib. I'm afraid he'll wake up and I have to deal with him until Chuck gets back from the store."

"Is that really so bad?"

"It is. I can't stand the sight of that thing."

Quinn gasps in horror.

"Stacy, how can you say that about your own baby!?"

Stacy said "I'm sorry, Quinn, but I just can't stand that little shit. I guess I turned into my mother after all."

Quinn said "Do you want that? Do you really want your child to grow up with a mother who doesn't give a damn about him? Who makes no secret of the fact that she sees him as nothing more than a burden?"

Stacy looks worried as she remembers.

* * *

An eight year old Stacy trying to show a paper with an A+ on it. Her mother, who looks just like her is clearly ignoring her while watching TV with a cocktail in her hand.

"Mommy, I got an A+ on my spelling test today. Wanna see?"

Irritated, Mrs. Rowe barked "Damn it! Not now, I'm trying to watch Rosanne you little brat."

Little Stacy looks dejected.

"Aren't you proud, Mommy?"

Mrs. Rowe gets right in Stacy's face.

"No! I don't give a shit if you can spell. You never do anything but annoy me."

"But...but..."

"You're just an annoyance. Now shut up and quit bugging me."

Little Stacy runs off crying.

* * *

A worried looking 26 year old Stacy winches at the bad memory.

"Oh, God! OH, GOD!"

* * *

 **Lawndale High, evening...**

Quinn and Lindy are walking to one of the classrooms. Quinn looks around and tells stories about her days as a student at the school. She points to a locker.

"...and that's where I first talked to Joey, Jeffy and Jamie. They were fighting over who would carry my books for me."

Lindy stifles a giggle.

"Considering how you got your current squeeze to walk away from a promotion for you I can honestly say that you still have that effect on men."

Quinn smiles.

"It's a gift."

They approach a classroom. Over the open door is a banner that reads "Alcoholics Anonnymous Meeting".

Quinn said "Here we are. You sure you don't want me to come in with you?"

Lindy said "I'm sure. You've done more than enough already. Just having you in my corner makes this easy."

Quinn puts a reassuring hand on her friends shoulder.

"You can do this, Lindy."

They hug. Cut to a few moments later. Lindy is introducing herself to the group.

"I'm Lindy Wilson and I'm an alcoholic. I'd been sober for eight years but recently suffered a relapse. I got drunk and cheated on my boyfriend. When I found out that he'd been cheating on me we broke up and I've been turning to the bottle in order to deal with the heartache. I was recently arrested for DUI. After that, my best friend had to bail me out and she made me start attending meetings again."

Cut to outside and we see Quinn eavesdropping. She backs away from the door and has a proud smile on her face.

* * *

 **Chuck and Stacy's house, day...**

Quinn walks up to the front door.

 _Now that Lindy's back on the wagon I can turn my full attention to the other crisis of the month._

Quinn rings the doorbell. Stacy answers and appears to be in a state of panic.

"Thank God!"

She immediately pulls Quinn inside and shuts the door. Once inside, Quinn hears the baby crying while Stacy is in a full blown panic.

"Quinn, Chuck's at a business meeting all day today and the baby won't stop crying. I need you to check on him."

Quinn said "Why don't you check on him? You're his mother."

Frightened, Stacy said "I'm afraid to. I can't stand the sight of him and his crying is driving me nuts. I actually want to hurt the little pain."

Quinn gasps in horror.

"How can you say that about your own child!?"

Stacy snarled "Because I hate that little monster. He's nothing but a stone around my neck."

Quinn gets angry.

"Dammit, Stacy, what the hell is wrong with you? That's your son."

Stacy pleaded "Quinn, please check on him."

Quinn said "Stacy, I love that baby as if he were my own but he's your responsibility. You have to do this."

In full blown panic, Stacy screamed "I CAN'T!"

Quinn is not about to give up.

"ENOUGH! Stacy, you need to snap out of this right now."

Stacy flinches a little from Quinn's harsh tone.

"Stacy, come on. We'll check on him together."

Quinn begins to walk up the stairs. Stacy stays in place and shakes uncontrollably. Quinn turns around.

"NOW, STACY!"

Startled, Stacy follows Quinn up the stairs. They go to the nursery and find the baby is crying in his crib. Quinn picks him up and holds him. As she gently rocks the baby he calms down.

"Ooooo, You're so cute! Yes, you are. Here's your mommy."

Quinn hands the baby to Stacy. Stacy stares nervously.

"Go on, take him."

Nervous, Stacy stuttered "But...but..."

In a stern tone frighteningly similar to Helen, Quinn hissed "Now, Stacy."

Stacy reluctantly takes her baby in her arms. She starts to rock it gently.

Quinn said "See, it's not so bad, is it?"

Stacy stares at her infant son. This time, instead of a ball and chain Stacy sees an angelic baby face smiling at her. The baby giggles. Stacy starts to melt.

"He...he...he's the most adorable thing I've ever seen."

Stacy smiles and holds her baby close.

"Ooooo, yes, little Chucky. Mommy loves you more than anything."

Quinn thought _Finally!_

* * *

 **Pizza King, afternoon...**

 **Music:** "Shake It" by Metro Station

Daria and Quinn are seated across from each other in a booth. Quinn is telling Daria about what happened at Stacy's.

"...so now Stacy's gone from not liking her kid to not being able to let him out of her sight."

Daria said "So, her maternal instincts finally kicked in."

Quinn said "Took long enough. This is enough to make me think twice about having kids myself."

"So, you and Jim are still using birth control?"

Quinn explained "Daria, I'm not ready for kids yet. First, Jim and I have to get married. Once he pops the question I'll start to seriously think about it. But before I do it I insist on a walk down the aisle."

Daria said "At least you have a real plan. Mine involves avoiding the issue like the plague."

"You mean you never want to have kids?"

Daria deadpanned "No, I'll be content corrupting any that you have."

Both sisters laugh.

Quinn said "Wouldn't it be weird if I had triplet sons who fight for my attention like the three J's used to?"

Daria said "Damn karma."

They have identical half smiles.

* * *

 **Author's Notes**

1) I remembered how Stacy cried when she was being tutored in "Is It Fall, Yet?" and she said her mother looked at her funny when she says something stupid. I decided it would explain a lot of her in-canon behavior if she did have an emotionally abusive mother.

2) Lindy's relapse was handled quickly since it's a subplot that was threatening to overtake the main story.

3) I am fully aware that it takes more than a guilt trip to overcome post-partum anxiety, but I'm writing each chapter as if it's a half hour TV episode. This necessitates quick resolution more often than not. A realistic resolution would require a multi-episode story arc.

 **Next Time**

Jeffy's back and he's still not over Quinn.


	11. Identity Crisis

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme Song:** "Jersey Girl" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game at the shore next. We see Quinn calming down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Trent and Lindy. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"Identity Crisis"**

 **story by**

 **WildDogJJ**

 **Lawndale County Courthouse...**

Jeffy is at a table with his lawyer, a sleazy looking guy with slicked back hair. The judge, a balding fat man with a mustache, is presiding while Dr. Millepedis is in the witness stand. It is a mental competency hearing to determine whether Jeffy, after two years confinement in a psychiatric hospital, can now be safely re-intigrated into society.

Dr. Millepedis said "When Mr. Mercer first entered my care he suffered from obsessive-compulsive disorder and delusional psychosis. His obsession was focused on one Quinn Morgendorffer, a young woman whom he had been stalking for years. Through tireless group and individual therapy I have been able to help him let go of his fixation and achieve a firm grasp on reality. He now only speaks of this woman when someone else mentions her to him and shows no sign of interest in pursuing her. Therefore, it is my professional opinion that he can be safely released from psychiatric care and I recommend that the court permit his immediate discharge."

Upon hearing this, the judge said "Approach the bench, Mr. Mercer."

Jeffy approaches and stands before the judge.

The judge informed Jeffy "Understand that if your release is allowed you are to have no contact with this Morgendorffer woman. You will be legally barred from communication by phone, e-mail, written correspondence and text message. You will also be required by law to maintain a minimum physical distance of no less than fifty yards from her person. Failure to abide by these requirements will result in an immediate warrant being issued for your arrest. Do you understand?"

"Yes, your honor."

"In that case, I rule to allow for the immediate discharge of Jeffery Mercer from psychiatric care."

The judge pounds his gavel.

"Case closed."

A short time later and Jeffy is standing outside of the courthouse. He is visibly happy to be a free man once again.

 _They bought it._

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Quinn and Jim are watching TV. On the TV screen and is a muscular man in a pink dress and high heels.

 **TV Announcer:** "He wanted her and couldn't have her, so he bacame her. The transvestite Romeo, next on Sick, Sad World."

Cut to Quinn and Jim, both looking bemused.

Quinn said "God, where do they find these people?"

Jim joked "They harvest them at the funny farm."

Quinn can't help laughing. There's a knock on the door.

Quinn said "I'll get it."

She gets up and opens the door. Two men in trench coats are standing there. One is a middle aged white man with gray hair. The other is a young black man with a mustache. The old white man asked "Are you Miss Quinn Morgendorffer?"

"Yes."

The two men show Quinn their badges.

The white cop introduced himself as "Detective Harris," points to the black cop, "this is my partner, Detective Johnson. We're with the Lawndale Township Police Department. May we come in?"

* * *

 **A few minutes later...**

Quinn and Jim are at the kitchen table talking to the two detectives. They had some news.

"What do you mean they let Jeffy out!?"

Harris said "Exactly that, Miss Morgendorffer."

Johnson added "A judge ruled that he was now mentally fit to rejoin society."

Concerned, Jim explained "He tried to kill us two years ago."

Harris said "Which is why it's our duty to inform you that he's now a free man."

Understandably worried, Quinn said "I can't believe this. What if he comes after me again?"

Johnson said "I understand your concern, Miss Morgendorffer. He has a restraining order barring him from all contact with you. If he violates the order he gets a one-way ticket to jail."

Quinn asked "Can't you guys do something?"

Sympathetic, Harris said "I'm sorry, but unless he violates the order or does something illegal there's nothing we can do."

Quinn looks worried.

* * *

 **A white brick two story house, evening...**

 **Music:** "Obssession" by Animotion

Jeffy is now living in his old room with his parents. The room has sports posters and football trophys everywhere. He is at his computer, watching a YouTube video.

 **Quinn:** (On video) "And that's how you make fudge brownies. Just don't eat too many or you'll get, like, really fat. And why would a girl like me ever date a fat guy? Ewwwww! Next time I'll share my secret to ageless beauty. Don't forget to like and subscribe to "Smores 'n' Pores". Byyyee."

Jeffy a psychotic grin.

"Oh, Quinn! My heart aches for you. I want you, I need you. You're everything to me. We should be together forever."

Jeffy closes his eyes.

* * *

 **Jeffy's Dream...**

Jeffy is a heroic knight on a trusty steed. He's charging at another knight, who happens to be Jim. They are jousting.

Jeffy taunted "I will have the princesses hand in marriage, Sir Jim."

"Dream on, loser." Jim taunted back.

Jeffy knocks Jim off of his horse. Jeffy dismounts and draws his sword. The two battle. Watching the battle unfold is Quinn as a fairy tale princess. She is smiling brightly. Jeffy stabs Jim through the heart. Jim falls down and is dead. Quinn rushes to Jeffy and kisses him.

"My hero! I'm forever yours, Sir Jeffy."

Removing his helmet, Jeffy said "I'll grant your hearts every desire, Princess Quinn."

"Could you get me a soda?"

* * *

Cut back to reality. Jeffy looks absolutely devastated.

 _I don't care what the judge says. I need her. I must have Quinn. It's meant to be. I'll find a way to make her love me and we'll be together forever. I WILL HAVE HER!_

Jeffy once again has a psychotic grin.

* * *

 **Lawndale Mall, day...**

 **Music:** "California Girls" by Katy Perry

Sandi and Quinn are at the women's section at Cashmans, looking at outfits. Quinn is holding up a red evening dress with straps and a drooping v-line.

Sandi said "You have to buy that dress, Quinn. One look at you in that will have Jim eating out of the palm of your hand."

Quinn appears to be staring off into space, which Sandi notices.

"Um, Earth to Quinn? Hello."

Quinn snaps out of her daydreaming.

"Sorry, I've got a lot on my mind. I just can't stop worrying about Jeffy. What if he starts stalking me again? What if he's watching me right now?"

Sandi said "Quinn, you'll only drive yourself crazy thinking about that stuff. That's why I insisted we go shopping today. It'll take your mind off of things"

Sheepish, Quinn said "I know, but I can't help it. What if he's watching me right now?"

Waving her hand dismissively, Sandi said "Quinn, don't be so paranoid. We aren't being watched."

Unknown to either woman, they were being watched by a man in a hoodie and sunglasses. It's Jeffy.

 _My God! She's even more beautiful than I remember. I know I'm supposed to stay away but I can't. I see her everytime I close my eyes. I can't have her but I need her. I LOVE HER AND CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HER!_

Jeffy follows them at a descreet distance as Quinn and Stacy go to the cash register. The sales lady is Tiffany.

Sandi said "Hi, Tiffany. How was Vegas?"

"It...waaas...fuuunnn. The...slotssss...weerrreee...soooo...prettyyyy."

Quinn smiles and forgets all about Jeffy.

"Did you win a lot of money?"

"Noooo...buuut...IIIII...got...marrrried."

Quinn and Sandi's jaws drop and their eyes go wide.

Quinn gasped "Tiffany!?"

Sandi gasped "Married!?"

Their shock doesn't even register. Tiffany said "Iiiitttt...waaaassss...greeaaaaaaat...IIII...met...Elvissss...Heeeee...waaasssss...faaaat. Heee...performed...theee...ceerremooonny...Myy...hussbaand...isss...riiich."

Sandi and Quinn are speechless. Unnoticed by anyone, Jeffy continues to eavesdrop and thinks _So, Tiffany got married in Vegas. I want to marry Quinn, but I can't. I can't have her._

He now looks utterly devastated.

 _There has to be a way for me to be with Quinn. We should be together forever, but how?_

Jeffy seems to get an idea.

* * *

 **Morgendorffer house, evening...**

Daria is relaxing on her bed and reading a book when her cell phone rings. She picks it up and answers it.

"Abandon hope, all ye who call here."

Quinn is on the other end of the line.

"Daria, you are not going to believe this."

Daria said "You're right, save your breath."

A little hurt by the remark, Quinn said "Daria!"

Daria realizes that remark came out wrong.

"Just kidding, Quinn. You know, old habits."

Quinn looks relieved.

"Good one, sis."

Daria asked "What's on your mind?"

Quinn said "You know that Jeffy was recently released from the mental hospital, right?"

Daria looks concerned.

"He's not stalking you again, is he?"

Quinn said "I haven't seen him. I keep worrying that he will, even though there's a restraining order against him. I was so worried about it that Sandi took me shopping today. You know, to take my mind off of things."

Daria replied "All of which sounds like normal behavior to me. When do we get to the shocker?"

Quinn said "Tiffany works at Cashmans. We ran into her there. She just got back from a month long trip to Las Vegas."

"And?"

"She's married."

Daria's eyes go wide.

"Who's the unlucky guy?"

Quinn said "I don't know. We're having dinner with them at Chez Pierre next weekend."

"Hopefully it's not Kevin."

Quinn gasps audibly. Daria smirks.

"Relax, Quinn. I know that he's married to Brittany and that polygamy is illegal in both Nevada and New Jersey."

Daria looks at her watch.

"It's late, Quinn. I think I'll call it a night."

"Goodnight, sis."

"Later."

They both hang up. Just then, Daria hears a strange noise coming from Quinn's old room. She gets up and walks there to find the door open and the lights on. She walks to the door and gasps. She sees the back of someone who's obviously a man. He has long bright-red hair and is wearing a pink baby t-shirt and skintight jeans. He turns around. It's Jeffy in a wig. He's holding a mini-skirt in one hand, a tank top in the other hand and is wearing makeup. In a high pitched voice, Jeffy said "Hey, Daria. Does this shirt match this skirt?"

Stunned, Daria asked "Jeffy, what are you doing in my sisters old room?"

Jeffy asked "Daria, why are you acting so weird? It's me, Quinn."

Daria is too shocked to speak.

* * *

 **Morgendorffer House, evening...**

Daria is standing in the doorway to Quinn's old room in wide-eyed, open-moutned shock. Jeffey is in the room dressed as Quinn and claiming to be Quinn.

"Daria, are you okay?"

Daria shakes her head.

"I should ask you the same thing, Jeffy."

Puzzled, Jeffy said "Why do you keep calling me Jeffy? I'm Quinn, your sister."

Daria decides to play along.

"Alright, "Quinn", what are you doing here?"

"Duh, it's my room."

Daria explained "You moved out of here almost eight years ago. You went to college in New York, remember?"

Jeffy looks dumbfounded. Daria smirks, thinking _Maybe I can snap him out of it with a reality check._ Out loud, she said "You lived in the dorm for three years while during your fourth year we shared an apartment with Jane."

Stunned, Jeffy said "We did!?"

Daria explained "Yes, and if you really are Quinn then you'd know that. You'd also know that after graduation you moved back to Lawndale after Dad suffered another heart attack. You have your own apartment."

Jeffy looks thoughtful. Daria, meanwhile, thinks _God, I hope this works._

Jeffy has a look of sudden realization.

"Ohmygod! What am I doing here?"

Daria looks hopeful.

"I have to get home! Jim must be worried sick."

Daria looks VERY disappointed.

Jeffy said "Later, sis."

He leaves. Once he's gone, Daria can think of only one thing to say.

"Dammit!"

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

Jim is petting Storm while Quinn is on the phone. Her eyes suddenly go wide.

"WHAT!?"

On the other end of the line, Daria explained "I just caught Jeffy in your old room. He seems to think he's you. He's on his way over to your place."

With a morbid frown, Quinn said "I'm going to be sick."

Daria said "I'm sorry, Quinn. I tried to snap him back to reality by telling him things he wouldn't know about you but he just incorporated that information into his delusion. He's on his way to your place right now."

Quinn gasps.

"What do I do?"

Daria said "I don't know. But, you need to think of something quick."

"Thanks for the heads up, sis."

They both hang up. Jim asked "What's going on?"

Quinn said "Daria just caught Jeffy in my old room, dressed as me?"

Jim's eyes go wide.

'heh...Ha...HA...HA...HA-HA-HA-HO-HO-HO-AHA-HA-HA..."

Quinn gives her boyfriend a death stare.

"THAT'S NOT FUNNY, JIM!"

This snaps Jim out of his laughing fit.

"Sorry."

Quinn said "It get's worse. Apparently, Jeffy's convinced himself that he's me."

Jim can feel another laughing fit coming on until he gets another nasty look from his girlfriend.

"Sorry."

"Jeffy's on his way here right now. What are we gonna do?"

Jim looks thoughtful. He gets an idea.

"You hide while I talk to him. If he thinks that he's you then there's no way of knowing how he'll react to seeing you. I'll try and get him to go away."

Quinn looks curious.

"How?"

Jim said "He thinks that he's you, which means that he thinks that I'm his boyfriend. I'll just pretend to dump you and kick him out."

Quinn visibly has some reservations about this plan.

"What if that doesn't work?"

"Then, we call the cops."

Quinn looks doubtful.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment building, evening...**

 **Music:** "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift

Jeffy, still dressed as Quinn, knocks on the door. Jim answers. Upon seeing Jeffy he struggles not to have another laughing fit.

Jeffy said "Hi, babe. I'm home."

Jim plays along.

"Hi, Quinn."

"Won't you let me in, Jim."

Jim puts on his best poker face. He said "Um, Quinn, we need to talk." while thinking _I just hope he doesn't know that the lease is in Quinn's name._ Concerned, Jeffy asked "Jim, honey, what's wrong? You look worried."

Jim said "Quinn, do you remember how we first became a live in couple?"

Jeffy said "Duh, Jim, you asked me to move in with you and I said yes. Your apartment became our apartment."

Jim thought _Good, he doesn't know that Quinn took me in after I came back from Japan and had nowhere else to go._ Out loud, he said "Quinn, I don't think this is working out. I think we need to break up."

Jeffy looks devastated.

"Jim, no!"

Jim said "Yes, Quinn, I'm sorry. I've been thinking it over and decided this just isn't meant to be. I'll drop all of your stuff at your parents house in a few days. After that, I never want to see you again."

Jeffy's lower lip starts to tremble.

"B...But, I live here."

Jim coldly said "Not anymore, you don't."

With that, Jim slams the door in Jeffy's face. Jeffy runs away, crying. Inside the apartment the real Quinn sticks her head through the bedroom door.

"He's gone."

Visibly relieved, Quinn comes out.

"Jim, what's going on?"

Jim said "It's just as I suspected. His treatment wasn't as complete as the doctors thought. He's accepted the fact that he can't have you but he isn't over you. He's coping by having another psychotic break where he becomes you."

Quinn asked "Wouldn't seeing me snap him out of it?"

Jim said "That's a very bad idea. While he believes he's you he's essentially harmless. If that illusion is shattered he could become violent. That's why it needs to be maintained until he's in custody. He'll now most likely return to your parents house. I'm gonna call the cops, tell them what's going on and send them there. You call your parents, explain the situation, and tell them to play along until the police show up. This way Jeffy gets taken into custody and no one gets hurt."

Quinn suddenly has a knowing smile.

"This was your plan all along, wasn't it?"

Jim nods. Quinn grins.

"Clever boy."

* * *

 **Morgendorffer house, evening...**

We see two police cruisers parked in front of the house. In the living room a visibly nervous Jake, Helen and Daria talking to four police officers.

"I'll kill that psychopath, goddammit!"

Helen barked "JAKE, YOU WON'T!"

This snaps Jake out of it. One of the cops looks at Helen questioningly.

"You'll have to excuse my husband, officer. He's a little too excitable for his own good."

Daria looks at her watch.

"I wish he'd show up. I don't wanna miss Sick, Sad World."

Helen said "Now that you mention it, he should've been here long before now."

One cop asked "Mrs. Morgendorffer, is there any palce else your daughter would go under such circumstances? Maybe Mr. Mercer went there."

* * *

 **Chuck and Stacy's house, evening...**

Jeffy, still dressed as Quinn, walks up to the front door and rings the bell. Chuck answers and is visibly shocked beyond words.

Jeffy said "Upchuck, is Stacy home?"

Chuck said "Jeffy! What are you doing here?"

Jeffy asked "Why are you calling me Jeffy? I'm Quinn. Is Stacy here?"

Chuck is visibly confused.

"What's going on?"

Jeffy said "Jim broke up with me."

Chuck clearly doesn't know how to respond.

Jeffy said "I came home and he told me he doesn't wanna see me anymore."

Chuck rolls his eyes.

"Jeffy, I don't know why they let you out of the nuthouse, but you're not Quinn. Could you please go away? My wife and son are asleep."

Jeffy looks puzzled.

"I didn't know you and Stacy had a baby."

Chuck said "You would if you really were Quinn."

Jeffy said "Oh, yes, now I remember. How is the baby, anyway?"

Chuck gets an idea.

"Tell me something, Quinn. Who's little Chucky's godmother?"

Jeffy thinks for a second.

"Tiffany, duh."

Chuck shakes his head.

"If you really were Quinn then you'd know who the godmother is."

Jeffy said "I'm sorry, I forgot."

"The real Quinn is Chucky's godmother. Think about it."

Jeffy looks very thoughtful.

Irritated, Chuck said "Look, I don't have time for this. I'm going to close the door now and then I'm calling the cops."

Chuck slams the door in Jeffy's face. Jeffy looks distraught.

"I...I'm not Quinn. I'm not Quinn. I'M NOT QUINN!"

Now enraged, Jeffy takes off the wig and the clothes. Naked, Jeffy runs off into the night screaming.

"I'M NOT QUINN! I'M NOT QUINN! ARRRGH! AHHHHHH! GRRRRRRRRRRAGH! HAH! BURRRRR! HEEEHEEEHEEE!"

* * *

 **Che Pierre, evening...**

 **Music:** "Disturbia" by Rihanna

Jim and Quinn are seated at a table. Jim looks a little distraught. He said "I can't believe it. Jeffy goes to Stacy instead of your parents."

Quinn reassured him.

"It was still a solid plan, Jim."

Jim said "But I'm worried. What if what Chuck said to him shattered the illusion and made him violent?"

Quinn looks worried. Finally, after a deep breath, she said "Look, we can't go looking over our shoulders. The police are looking for him, he's on the run, we have locks on our doors and you have a gun. We've done what we can. Let's just have a pleasant evening with Tiffany and her new husband."

Jim decides to let the situation with Jeffy go.

"I wonder what her husband's like."

Just then, Quinn spots Tiffany.

"There they are."

Quinn waves them over. Suddenly, both her and Jim's jaws drop. Tiffany arm in arm with...Steve Taylor, Brittany's father. Except for gray hair along his temples he looks like he did on _Daria._

"Iiii'ddd...liiiiikkkee...youuu...tooo...meet...myyy...husbannnd...Steveee...Taylor."

Quinn and Jim are stunned speechless.

* * *

 **Chez Pierre, evening...**

Quinn and Jim are on a double date with Tiffany and her new husband. Her husband is Steve Taylor. Awkward doesn't even begin to describe this.

Quinn said "Mr. Taylor, I thought you were married to Ashley-Amber. What happened?"

"Got divorced. And, please, call me Steve."

Jim asked "So this is marriage number...?"

"Three."

Quinn asked "I hope I'm not getting too personal here, but what happened to Ashley-Amber?"

Steve said "Her looks were starting to go so I called it quits. Proposed to Tiffany here the day after the divorce was finalized."

Tiffany said "Issn't...heee...greaat?"

Jim and Quinn both look very uncomfortable.

Jim commented "I think we're the ones in the looney bin."

Quinn looks at Tiffany with great concern.

"Tiffany, could I talk to you in the ladies room?"

"Suurre."

Quinn turns to Jim.

"We'll be back in a minute, hon."

With that, Quinn and Tiffany get up and head to the women's rest room.

* * *

 **The ladies room at Chez Pierre, a few minutes later...**

Quinn and Tiffany are by the mirror. Quinn is trying to contain her disbelief while Tiffany touches up her makeup.

Quinn asked "Tiffany, what the hell?"

Tiffany isn't even listening.

"Uh-huh."

Quinn frowns.

"You're not even listening to me right now, are you?"

Tiffany continues to apply makeup.

"Uh-huh."

Quinn snatches Tiffany's mascara brush right out of her hand.

"Uhhhh...Why'd...youuu...dooo...thaat?"

"Because we need to talk. You can touch up you're makeup afterwards."

"Ooookkkayyyyy."

Quinn asked "Why the hell did you run off and marry Steve Taylor of all people?"

Tiffany said "Hee's...cuute...annd...richh."

Quinn said "He's also more than thirty years older than you."

Tiffany said "Buut...Jimm's...older...thaan...youuu."

Quinn rolls her eyes.

"Jim's only two and a half years older than me. Steve's old enough to be your father."

Tiffany misunderstands and scrunches her nose in disgust.

"Myyy...faather...Quinn...ewwwww!"

Quinn rolls her eyes again. Tiffany is obviously missing the point.

"What do you see in that guy?"

"I'mmm...nooot...intoo...inceest."

Quinn rolls her eyes a third time. It's going to be a long night.

* * *

 **Chez Pierre's dinning room...**

While Quinn is in the bathroom with Tiffany, Steve is chatting with Jim.

"Yeah, Ashley-Amber was a hot piece of ass at one point but when her looks started to go I figured it was time to trade up. So I hooked up with Tiffany while preparing to serve Ashley with divorce papers. Bitch tried to take me for a bundle in the divorce. Fourtunately, she's so dumb that we were able to get her to take a modest sum."

With forced politeness, Jim said "Interesting approach to marriage."

Steve asked "So, how long have you and Quinn been together?"

Jim said "It'll be four years this July. I'm curious, why Tiffany?"

Steve said "Because she's a total hottie. That and she was dumb enough to sign a pre-nup that forces her to walk away with nothing if the marriage ends. Also, she's a minx in the bedroom."

Jim rolls his eyes. _And all this time I thought Quinn was exaggerating when she told me what a sleazebag Brittany's father is._ Out loud, in a sarcastic tone, he said "The foundation for any solid relationship."

The sarcasm flys over Steve's head.

"Damn right."

At this point, Quinn and Tiffany return to the table. Jim whispers in Quinn's ear.

"How'd it go?"

Quinn whispers back in Jim's ear.

"Like talking to a brick wall."

Tiffany kisses Steve on the cheek.

"I...lovvvee...youuu."

"Likewise, jugs."

Tiffany blushes and smiles while Quinn shoots Steve a menacing look.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, in the parking lot...**

 **Music:** "Funhouse" by Pink

Jeffy walks toward the restaurant. He is wearing a tight red mini-dress and high heels. He also has makeup on his face and a purse on his shoulder. He enters Chez Pierre and walks right up to the hostess. The hostess, a black haired young woman, sees him and is visibly freaked out.

"C-can I help you?"

Jeffy said "I'm with the Carbone party. My name's Quinn Morgendorffer."

The hostess looks at her reservation list. She finally sees "Carbone Party: J. Carbone, Q. Morgendorffer, S. Taylor and T. Taylor." Finally, the hostess looks up and shrugs.

 _To each their own, I guess._ Out loud, she said "Follow me."

Cut to the table where Quinn, Jim, Steve and Tiffany are sitting. Jeffy and the hostess approach. Quinn and Jim both gasp in horror as he takes his seat.

Quinn asked "Jeffy, what are you doing here?"

Jeffy looks offended. He said "For your information, my name's Quinn Morgendorffer. Who are you?"

Quinn looks nervous. Jeffy still thinks that he's Quinn. She thinks fast.

"Um...Erin Chambers."

Indignant, Jeffy said "And just what are you doing having dinner with my boyfriend?"

Jim buries his face in his hands and wishes he could just disappear. Steve and Tiffany, meanwhile, look very confused.

Tiffany asked "Jeffy!?"

Jeffy smiles.

"Hey, Tiffany. Don't you recognize me? I'm Quinn."

"Whaaaaat?"

Steve asked "What the hell's going on here?"

Jeffy said "I'm here to win my ex-boyfriend back."

Mortified, Quinn buries her face in her hands. Under her breath she said "God, could this night get any worse?"

* * *

 **Meanwhile, outside...**

A team of police cars approach Chez Pierre. Cops head to the building with their guns out. One cop said "We got an anonymous tip Jeffy Mercer was here. Weapons at ready, but try to take him in clean."

* * *

 **Inside...**

Jeffy turns his attention back to a nervous looking Jim.

"Jim, I love you. I want you back. Please."

Jim, realizing he has to play along and hope for the best, stands up. Jeffy also stands up. Jim said to Jeffy "Look, "Quinn", it's over between us. Move on.," he points to the real Quinn, "I already have."

Jeffy looks hurt. Quinn stands up. She said "Look, "Quinn", Jim's with me now. You can find someone else. After all, you're Quinn Morgendorffer."

Jeffy smiles. He holds Jim in a hug. Jim is, understandably, freaked. "I'll never forget you Jim, and...," he whispers in Jim's ear, "...I know I'm not Quinn."

Jim immediately pulls away. Jeffy reaches into his purse and pulls out a small .38 revolver.

 **Customer:** "GUN!"

Jeffy aims the weapon at Quinn. Jim shouts "Quuuiiiinnnnnn!" Jeffy pulls the trigger while Jim, acting on instinct, shoves Quinn out of the line of fire. The bullet strikes Jim in the lower right portion of his rib cage. He falls to the floor and bleeds profusely. Quinn is horrified.

"JIM! NOOOOOOOO!"

"DROP THE GUN!"

The cops have the whole restaurant covered and their guns pointed at Jeffy. Jeffy looks at Quinn. He said "I can't be with you, I can't become you and I can't live without you."

Jeffy puts the gun flush against his right temple and pulls the trigger. He falls to the floor, dead. Horrified, Quinn looks away from Jeffy's body and toward Jim. She rushes to him and holds him.

"Please, Jim, don't die."

Jim clutches his wound.

"Qu... _cough_...Quinn."

Tears form in Quinn's eyes.

"I'm here, Jim. I'll never leave you."

An officer runs up. He tells Quinn "Put pressure on that wound."

Quinn, determined not to let her boyfriend die, does as the cop says.

 **Officer:** (into beeper) "Send an ambulence to Chez Pierre. Two gunshot victims, one is the gunman. Shooter is deceased from self-inflicted gunshot wound. Victim is gravely injured."

Jim slips out of consciousness as Quinn keeps pressure on the wound.

* * *

 **Cedars of Lawndale, a room in intensive care...**

Jim is laying unconscious in a hospital bed. His body is bandaged up. Quinn sits by his side. The expression on her face is a mix of shock and concern.

"How? How could this happen?"

She holds Jim's hand.

* * *

 **Next Time**

Quinn helps Jim recover from his injury.


	12. Nurse Quinn

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme Song:** "Jersey Girl" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game at the shore next. We see Quinn calming down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Trent and Lindy. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"Nurse Quinn"**

 **story by**

 **WildDogJJ**

 **Cedars of Lawndale, evening...**

Jim lays unconscious in a hospital bed while a visibly sleep deprived Quinn, wearing the same outfit she wore that night at Chez Pierre, watches over him. Helen enters the room. "Quinn," she said, "are you alright?"

"As alright as I can be under the circumstances."

"How's Jim?"

Quinn said "They got the bullet out of him. Problem was that it ruptured a blood vessel. They were able to repair it, but he still lost a lot of blood. That's why he's in a coma. The doctor says he should come out of it soon if there aren't any problems. They took the tube out, so he's breathing on his own. That's a good sign."

Quinn looks at her injured boyfriend. Helen eyes her daughter with concern.

"Quinn, it's been three days. Have you eaten anything?"

Slightly distraught, Quinn said "How could I possibly eat at a time like this? My boyfriend is in a coma after taking a bullet that was meant for me. I can't eat or sleep and the only time I've taken my eyes off of Jim is when the doctor is working on him."

Before Helen can say anything...

"MY GOD!"

Jim's parents, Tony and Gina, are standing in the doorway. Tony looks impassive while Gina looks mortified.

Looking at her unconscious son, Gina said "Look what that animal did to my little boy! I want the one responsible to suffer, you hear me. I WANT HIM TO SUFFER!"

Tony, in an effort to both calm his wife down and take a cheap shot at Quinn (who he hates), said "If you wanna blame someone, babe, blame Quinn."

This gets Helen so riled up that she gets right in Tony's face.

"How dare you try to put this on my daughter!"

Tony doesn't even flinch as her comes nose to nose with Helen in an effort to intimidate her. He snarled "He took a bullet for her so I'll blame Quinn if I want. If he'd taken a bullet for his country then I'd actually respect him."

Gina gives her husband a death stare. In an ominous tone, she said "Tony."

Tony immediately shuts up and backs off.

Gina asked "Where's the monster who shot my boy?"

Quinn looks solemn.

"Dead. After Jim took the bullet Jeffy saw the cops arrive. He turned the gun on himself and blew his own brains out."

Gina said "I hope he rots in Hell."

Quinn looks unsure as she doesn't know how she should feel about Jeffy at this point.

* * *

 **Jim's hospital room, the next day...**

Jim is still in a coma and Quinn is still watching over him. Mack, Kevin and Brittany are visiting. Brittany gave birth to twin daughters in December of 2007 and is now pregnant with child number four.

Mack asked "Who's watching the kids?"

Brittany said "Ultra is watching over Lisa and Beth."

Mack explained "Ultra's only six. Who's watching him?"

Brittany has a look of sudden realization.

"MY BABY!"

She immediately runs out of the room and straight for home. Quinn rolls her eyes. Of course they'd forget something that important. Kevin is a little freaked by how Jim is so pale. He said "Dude, he looks like a vampire."

At this point, Jim slowly opens his eyes.

"Wh...Where am I?"

Quinn's face light's.

"JIM!? You're awake!"

Kevin freaks.

"GAH! VAMPIRE!"

Despite being disoriented, Jim sarcastically replied "Nice to see you too."

Too scared to run, Kevin asked "Are you, like, gonna try to drink my blood?"

Mack groans in frustration.

"Kevin, he's not a vampire."

"Like, how can you be sure?"

Mack explained "Well, the fact that the suns shining through the window and he hasn't burst into flames is a pretty strong indication."

Kevin loooks relieved.

"He's gonna burst into flames!? Cool."

Mack and Quinn both roll their eyes.

* * *

 **Jim's hospital room, a short time later...**

Jim and Quinn are alone and talking. Quinn said "Sorry about Kevin."

Jim replied "Don't be. It was somewhat entertaining to wake up to that."

Quinn gently takes Jim's left hand in both of hers.

"Honey, I was so worried. If you'd died I don't think I would've been able to deal."

Jim said "Well, I'm still alive."

Quinn asked "How are you feeling?"

Jim answered "Like shit. How long was I out?"

Quinn said "Almost four days. The bullet ruptured a major blood vessel. The doctor repaired it when he took the bullet out."

Jim looks relieved.

Quinn asked "Why'd you do it? Take a bullet for me."

Jim said "Like I'm gonna let the woman I love get shot."

Quinn blushes as she realizes what a dumb question that was. She said "You lost a lot of blood. The paramedics said if I hadn't kept pressure on the wound until they arrived you would've died."

Jim said "So, you saved my life."

Quinn smiles.

"After you saved mine. Also, I love you too much to let you die. Anyway, I'm gonna go to the vending machine. You want anything?"

"No thanks."

Quinn stands up.

"I won't be long. After all, I caught some of the nurses checking you out."

Jim deadpanned "Yeah, I'm a regular Orlando Bloom."

"You are to me."

She kisses him on the cheek and leaves.

* * *

 **The hallway at the hospital...**

Quinn is at the vending machine getting a soda. As she does this, she's deep in thought.

 _Thank God Jim's gonna pull through. I was so worried. I don't know how to feel about Jeffy, though. After what happened part of me is glad that he's dead, but another part of me feels sorry for him._

A can of Diet Ultra Cola drops. Quinn picks it up. She opens the can and takes a sip.

 _I can't help thinking that this is all my fault. If I hadn't strung Jeffy along all through high school then maybe he wouldn't have gone insane._

At this point, Quinn's thoughts are interrupted by a familiar voice with a French accent.

 **Dr. Millipedis:** (VO, off screen) "Miss Morgendorffer."

Quinn turns around. Cut to a shot of her facing Dr. Millipedis.

"Jean-Felipe!?"

Dr. Millipedis said "I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for what happened. How's Jim?"

Quinn answered "He's awake now. He seems to be doing fine but he's still very weak."

"That's good. I don't want his death on my conscience as well."

Quinn raises an eyebrow.

"What do you mean "as well"?"

Dr. Millipedis looks guilty.

"I was the one who'd recommended Jeffy's release from psychiatric care."

Quinn gasps.

"You bastard."

Her face now contorts into a mask of pure rage.

"YOU BASTARD!"

She punches him in the face so hard that he staggers back a few steps. She's about to hit him again when Dr. Millipedis said "I deserved that. It was the biggest oversight of my career. I really thought he had made enough progress to be safely re-integrated into society. It never once occurred to me during our sessions that he was just telling me what I wanted to hear."

Quinn lowers her fist and visibly calms down. Frankly, she never thought Jeffy capable of manipulating a psychiatrist either.

"I guess he pulled a fast one on all of us. To be honest, the ultimate blame is mine."

Dr. Millipedis goes straight into psychiatrist mode.

"What makes you say that?"

Quinn explained "I led Jeffy on all through high school. I was pretty self-absorbed as a teenager and strung all the cute guys along because I loved the attention. Jeffy never got over me. He just became obsessed and went crazy. It's my fault any of this even happened."

Dr. Millipedis said "It's not your fault. While it was pretty selfish of you to do what you did in high school you had no way of knowing one of your admirers would take things too far and develop an obsession that would lead to a full psychotic break. No one is to blame. Mistakes were made that had unforeseen consequences. It happens."

Quinn visibly feels better.

"Thanks."

Dr. Millipedis asked "Can I see Jim?"

Quinn looks angry again.

"Look, after what happened I really don't want you anywhere near my man."

Dr. Millipedis accepts this.

"I understand. Tell him I'm sorry for what happened."

"I will."

* * *

 **Jim's hospital room, a short time later...**

Quinn is back at Jim's bedside having a soda and updating Jim on what happened during his four day coma.

"...so I got Daria to dog sit Storm."

Sarcastic, Jim said "Your mother must love that."

Quinn said "Well, she never was one to tolerate animals. That's why we didn't have any pets while growing up."

Jim rolls his eyes.

"Quinn, I already know this. I have a gunshot wound, not amnesia."

Quinn nods in our direction, breaking the fourth wall. Jim nods in understanding. At this point a doctor enters the room. It's the same doctor who took care of Daria in "Ill". The doctor asked "How are you feeling, Mr. Carbone?"

Jim said "Well, I was shot by a psychotic guy who was obsessed with my girlfriend, spent four days in a coma due to the blood loss and Quinn just repeated a story she's told me a million times for no apparent reason..." Jim winks at us, "...but aside from that I'm doing pretty good."*

*( **A/N:** This was originally written as a script fic. What you just red was a fourth wall gag.)

The doctor said "Well, you'll be happy to know that you can go home tomorrow. I'm here to discuss your in home care."

Jim raises an eyebrow.

"In home care?"

The doctor explained "Yes. The bullet ruptured a blood vessel. The blood loss was what caused your coma. We were able to repair the rupture but you have to take it easy for the next four to six weeks. That's how long it'll take for the wound to completely heal. It's lucky that you're an otherwise healthy 28 year old male who doesn't smoke and only drinks in moderation. For now, though, no vigorous physical exercise, no sexual activity, no stress, no washing yourself, keep your posture straight at all times and don't walk up or down stairs."

Both Quinn and Jim frown when they hear this.

Quinn said "Our apartment's on the second floor of a building with no elevators."

The doctor said "Then, you have a problem."

Jim asked "What about once, just to get home?"

The doctor shakes his head.

"Disregarding these instructions, even once, could re-open the wound. Just be thankful it's only four weeks."

Both concerned and surprised, Quinn asked "He can't wash himself?"

The doctor said "You'll have to tend to his personal hygiene, and that includes wiping his ass for him. It's also important to keep the wound clean."

Quinn and Jim both frown. It's going to be a long four weeks.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment building, evening...**

In the bathroom Jim is sitting in the bathtub while Quinn is beside the tub scrubbing Jim down with a sponge. His ribcage on the lower right side has stitches in it from where the doctor took the bullet out.

Jim groaned "Was it really necessary to have Kevin, Chuck and Mack haul me up here on a stretcher?"

Quinn said "Jim, you heard the doctor. No walking up and down stairs."

"I would've been careful."

"I'm not willing to risk it. Raise your left arm."

Jim does as she says. Quinn scrubs down his left side.

Jim said "Not that I don't appreciate this, Quinn, but you don't have to do everything. I can get the stuff in the front."

"Sorry, but I'm not taking any chances."

Jim rolls his eyes. With a soaped up washcloth Quinn reaches toward his submerged privates.

"Quinn, as much as I love you touching me there in the bedroom I can get that myself."

"Jim, don't be such a baby."

Cut to a close up of Jim's face. He looks mildly annoyed. Cut to when Quinn's done washing him. Jim gets out of the tub while Quinn approaches him with a towel.

Jim said "I'll towel myself off."

Quinn firmly said "No you won't

She starts to towel Jim off. When she's finished she wrapped the towel around Jim's waist, covering his nakedness. Quinn approaches him. She has a fresh washcloth in one hand and a bottle of hydrogen peroxide in the other. Jim asked "Quinn, what's that for?"

Quinn said "To keep the wound disinfected, duh."

With a roll of his eyes, Jim said "You just bathed me, I can disinfect myself."

Quinn soakes the cloth in the peroxide.

"Jim, you remember what the doctor said. Now hold still."

 **Ext. Shot:** The apartment building.

 **Jim:** (VO from inside) "AAAARRRRGGGHHHHH! Damn, that stuff stings!"

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment building, morning...**

In the bedroom Quinn is starting to wake up, but neither Jim or Storm are there.

"'Morning... _yawn_...Jim."

Quinn opens her eyes and notices that Jim's side of the bed is empty. She gasps. Meanwhile, the kitchen, Jim is frying an egg.

"Jim, what the hell are you doing!?"

Jim is startled. He truns around as Quinn comes into view. Her expression is a mixture of disappointment and concern.

"I'm cooking breakfast."

"Are you crazy? You'll reopen your wound."

Jim said "Quinn, I'm okay. I didn't wanna disturb you."

Channeling her inner Helen, Quinn said "Jim, step away from the stove and get back to bed. I'll cook your breakfast."

"But, Quinn..."

Quinn points in the direction of the bedroom and her voice takes on a stern tone.

"Now, young man!"

Jim let's out a defeated sigh.

* * *

 **A short time later...**

Jim is back in bed when Quinn comes in with a tray. On it is the eggs and bacon that Jim had started to make. She places the tray in front of Jim.

"Here you go, honey."

Jim looks a little guilty.

"Sorry I got snippy with you earlier. I'm just not used to being waited on hand and foot."

"That's okay, babe."

Smiling, Jim said "I have to admit, it's nice being served breakfast in bed. Thanks."

Quinn said "My pleasure."

Jim reaches for his fork and knife. Quinn immediately snatches them away.

"Allow me."

She cuts the eggs for him. Jim instantly goes from grateful to annoyed.

"Quinn, you don't have to..."

"I insist."

Now Jim looks even more annoyed. Quinn takes a forkful of egg and holds it to Jim's mouth.

"Open wide."

Jim is beyond annoyed.

"Quinn, I can feed myself."

"Not until you're fully recovered you can't."

Jim rolls his eyes. He isn't sure how much more his ego can take.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, day...**

Jim is on the phone while sitting up in bed.

"...she won't even let me feed myself. It's really annoying."

On the other end of the line, Michael "Mack" MacKenzie, said "You're actually complaining!? Most other guys would love being waited on hand and foot by their girlfriends."

Jim explained "I do, but only to a certain point. Quinn refuses to let me do anything for myself. I can't wash myself, I can't dress myself, I can't feed myself, I can't shave myself. I like being served meals in bed and I don't mind not having to do my share of the housework, but everything else is just too much. I can't leave the apartment at all. If I have to use the toilet I wait until Quinn is running errands because she won't even let me wipe my own ass."

Mack now seems to understand where Jim's coming from.

"I get it. You're used to being self-reliant and now you can't be and it's driving you crazy."

Jim said "Exactly. I get that she's doing all of this out of concern for my well being, but I can't stand feeling so damn helpless all the time."

Mack looks sympathetic.

* * *

 **Food Lord, day...**

Quinn is doing some grocery shopping. She rounds a corner and runs into Stacy. Little Chucky, Stacy's infant son, is in the baby seat of the shopping cart.

"Hey, Quinn."

Quinn smiles brightly.

"Hi, Stacy."

Quinn looks at little Chucky and starts rubbing his chin and making baby talk.

"Hey, Chucky, cootchie-cootchie-cooo"

The baby giggles when Quinn does that.

Stacy asked "How's Jim?"

Quinn said "He's on the mend. I'm just doing some shopping. He still isn't allowed to leave the apartment."

"How are you holding up?"

Quinn said "I'm still shaken up by what happened, but I can deal. I can't stop worrying about Jim. The doctor said I have to do everything for him, so that's what I've been doing. He's not even allowed to wash himself and I won't let him feed himself. I do it all for him."

Stacy, as the mother of a newborn, sympathizes. She said "Welcome to my world."

"At least Chucky doesn't complain about not being allowed to do anything."

Stacy said "Try to understand where Jim's coming from. He's a grown man, not a one month old baby. Not being allowed to do anything for himself is probably a huge blow to his pride."

Quinn looks thoughtful. Finally, she said "Now that I think about it I have been a little overprotective. The doctor only said no vigorous physical exercise, no sexual activity, no stress, no washing himself, keep his posture straight at all times and don't walk up or down stairs but I've not been letting him feed, shave or even dress himself. Maybe I could give him some freedom. I'm just so worried. What if he reopens his wound and I can't save him? He could die."

Stacy explained "I have all those same worries about Chucky."

Quinn asked "How do you deal?"

Stacy said "By reminding myself that I'm doing a pretty good job so far and all worrying about all the what-if's will accomplish is that I drive myself crazy. I can't be a good mother if I let myself become a head case, at least that's what the psychiatrist tells me."

Quinn raises an eyebrow.

"You see a psychiatrist?"

"She's been helping me with my post-partum issues. That pep talk you gave me was only a temporary fix."

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment building, day...**

Quinn is putting the last of the groceries in the fridge.

 _Now I'd better check on Jim._

From the bathroom, Quinn hears the sound of a toilet flushing, followed by the sound of the sink running. She immediately becomes nervous.

 _God, I hope it was number one!_

Jim emerges from the bathroom. He gasps upon seeing that Quinn's home.

"Quinn! You're back."

Quinn eyes him susipciously.

"Was that number one or (shudder) number two?"

Nervous, Jim said "Um...Well...Does it matter?"

Quinn said "Since you're not allowed to wipe yourself, yes."

Jim says nothing but looks like a kid who was just caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Finally, in a stern tone, Quinn said "Answer me!"

Jim sighs. _Busted._ He thought as he admitted _"_ Number two".

Quinn gets right in Jim's face.

"Dammit, Jim, you know you're not allowed to wipe yourself."

Jim insisted "Quinn, I'm fine. I wiped myself without re-opening the wound. See."

Jim raises his shirt. The wound has not re-opened and is actually less apparent than when he got that first sponge bath. He lowers his shirt.

Quinn said "Jim, that's not the point. What if you had re-opened the wound? Even if we can't see it, you could've reopened the ruptured blood vessel."

Jim rolls his eyes.

"I'm not bleeding internally."

Quinn folds her arms and channels her inner Helen.

"Jim, let me see that wound."

Jim is visibly hesitant, which Quinn notices.

"NOW, young man."

Losing his patience, Jim responds with a curt "No".

In a VERY menacing tone, Quinn said "Excuse me!"

Jim angrily explained "I said no. I didn't re-open my wound. Take my word for it."

Her frustration mounting, Quinn said "Dammit, Jim, I'm not doing this to be mean. I'm doing this because I'm worried about you."

"Quinn, it's great that you care about my well being and all, but this is too much. You won't let me do anything."

"Because I'm afraid you'll hurt yourself."

Jim loses his last bit of patience.

"Dammit, Quinn! I won't hurt myself shaving, feeding myself or dressing myself. This is..."

Just then, Jim clutches his ribcage. Quinn is instantly concerned.

"Honey, are you alright?"

Jim groaned "Chest...pain...call...911."

Quinn panics.

"OHMYGOD!"

She runs to the phone and dials 911.

* * *

 **Morgendorffer house, day...**

Daria is in her room listening to Quinn tell her about Jim's chest pain.

"...but by the time the ambulance arrived the pain had stopped and Jim was fine. Turns out it was just a case of heartburn. I can't begin to express how relieved I was."

Daria commented "Just like with Grandma Ruth when Dad had his first heart attack."

Quinn said "What I don't get is why Jim's being like this. I'm only doing everything for his own good."

Daria explained "Quinn, think about it, he feels helpless and that's a blow to his pride. You, of all people, know how guys think."

"I see your point. I guess I should let him do the things he still can. I just can't help worrying. This is all my fault."

Daria raises an eyebrow.

"How is this your fault? You're not the one who shot him."

Quinn said "No, but that bullet was meant for me. Jim's injury and Jeffy's death are my fault. It's all my fault."

Daria said "Quinn, you didn't shoot Jim, Jeffy did. Jim took a bullet for you, but what would you have done if the situation was reversed?"

Quinn has a look of realization.

"I would've done the same thing. But it's still my fault. If I hadn't strung Jeffy along all through high school he wouldn't have gone insane. He'd still be alive and Jim wouldn't be recovering from a gunshot wound."

Daria said "Quinn, none of this is your fault. You had no way of knowing Jeffy would become so obsessed with you that it'd drive him insane. You didn't kill Jeffy, Jeffy killed himself. You don't have any blood on your hands. Also, you need to have this conversation with Jim."

"I will. I just wanted to get your perspective on this first. You always were the most sensible one in this family."

Daria half-smiles at the praise.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment building, evening...**

Quinn and Jim are watching TV. On the TV screen is a grown man in a bib and diaper with a pacifier in his mouth.

 **TV Announcer:** "His wife wanted a baby, so he became one. I Married a Man-child, next on Sick, Sad World."

Cut to Quinn and Jim on the couch while Storm is resting at their feet. Quinn is stifiling a giggle while Jim is visibly amused.

Jim said "It's ironic given my current situation."

A little guilty, Quinn said "Jim, about that. I think I was being over protective. I can't blame you for being short. I know you don't like feeling helpless."

Jim said "Quinn, if anyone owes an apology it's me. I should've been grateful that you're willing to do so much for me. I'm sorry I got mad. Truth is I wasn't as non-chalant as I was acting. When I had that chest pain I really was afraid I'd pushed myself too far."

Quinn asked "Why were you being like that, anyway?"

"I didn't want you to worry about me."

Quinn said "Jim, I'm your girlfriend, more than likely future wife at this point. Worrying about you is part of the job. I mean, you did almost die."

Jim admitted "I know. I just couldn't accept feeling so weak."

"Jim, you're recovering from a severe injury. I want to take care of you because, one: I love you, and two: you'd do the same for me."

"I understand why you went a little overboard. You were afraid I'd hurt myself."

Quinn admitted "I also feel a little guilty. If I hadn't led Jeffy along back in high school none of this would've happened."

Jim puts a reassuring hand on Quinn's shoulder. He said "Hindsight's always 20/20. You had no way of knowing this would happen. I took that bullet because I love you and wanna protect you. Jeffy's death also isn't your fault. He killed himself."

Quinn asked "How did you know that's what I was thinking?"

Jim answered "We've been together almost four years now. There isn't much I don't know about you at this point. Quinn, I won't disobey doctors orders again."

Quinn said "And I'll let you do the things you still can do, but I'm still taking care of you."

"I actually appreciate that. Also, I love you."

"I love you, too."

They kiss.

* * *

 **Montage Scene**

 **Music:** Generic background music (because I couldn't think of a song that fits)

First, we see Quinn giving Jim another bath. He's enjoying it. Next, a shot of Quinn helping Jim dress by pulling his pants up for him while he puts on his own shirt. The next shot shows Quinn serving Jim dinner but letting him feed himself. After this is a shot of the bathroom door.

 **Quinn:** (VO, through door) EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Nest, we see Jim in the bathroom brushing his own teeth, followed by Quinn applying disinfectant to his wound. Final shot is Jim getting into bed and allowing Quinn to look at his wound in order to reassure her.

* * *

 **Cedar's of Lawndale hospital, day...**

Jim is laying on an examination table while the doctor (same one as before) is liiking him over. Quinn is sitting in a nearby chair waiting anxiously. Close up of Jim's wound shows that the stitches have been removed. The doctor finishes.

"Alright, you can put your shirt back on."

Jim gets off of the table, puts his shirt on and has a seat next to Quinn. Quinn asked "Well, how is he?"

The doctor said "He's going to be just fine. The injury is almost completely healed. You must've taken really good care of him."

Quinn smiles proudly. Jim asked "So, what now?"

The doctor said "You can now slowly increase your level of physical activity. You can walk up and down stairs, wash yourself. As for vigorous exercise, I'd hold off on that for another week or two just to be safe. As for sexual activity, mutual masturbation is okay but I recommend abstinence from anything more for another week or so."

Both Quinn and Jim are visibly relieved. The doctor looks at Jim.

"Quinn took really good care of you. You're a lucky man, Jim."

Jim smiles while Quinn blushes.

* * *

 **Pizza King, day...**

Quinn and Stacy are having lunch. Chucky is next to Stacy in a baby carriage. Quinn said "So it turns out that my care actually accelerated his recovery time."

Stacy said "I knew you could do it, Quinn. Why do you think I wanted you to be Chucky's godmother?"

Both women giggle.

Quinn said "Well, I'm glad Jim's gonna be okay. I was really worried about him. I'm especially glad that I can stop acting like his mom and start acting like his girlfriend again."

Stacy asked "Why don't you and Jim have kids? It's obvious that you'd make a really good mom."

Quinn smiles at the compliment.

"Thanks, but I'm not ready for kids just yet and neither is Jim. We aren't even married yet."

Stacy said "Frankly, it's only a matter of time. You and Jim act like a married couple already, have been for quite a while."

Quinn looks VERY thoughtful.

* * *

 **Next Time**

Grandma Emma is going senile.


	13. Fading Memories

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme Song:** "Jersey Girl" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game at the shore next. We see Quinn calming down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Trent and Lindy. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"Fading Memories"**

 **story by**

 **WildDogJJ**

Quinn Morgendorffer is running scared in a large cave with lakes of molten lava all around her. The screams of unbearable pain can be heard all around her. Her path is suddenly blocked by a red skinned monster with a pointed tail, bat wings and huge horns. Quinn immediately recognizes this creature as Satan. He snarled "Fallen one, I am your God now!"

Terrified, Quinn screamed "AAAHHHHHHHHH!"

She turns and runs away, only to have her path blocked by Jeffy. He has an evil grin on his face and his eyes are Sith-yellow.

"YOU! You killed me, you bitch!"

Panicked, Quinn said "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to."

Jeffy hissed "Too late, you whore!"

Quinn turns and runs away. She crashes into demonic versions of Joey and Jamie.

Joey barked "You lied to us, bitch!"

Jamie said "You made us cater to your every whim, you goddamn tease. Time to pay."

Quinn runs from them.

"NO! This can't be happening."

She sees a demon verson of Daria. Daria, her eyes full of malice, said "It is happening, you selfish brat. I was lonely, I was bullied and misunderstood. I needed you and you shunned me you worthless little brat!"

In fear and desperation, Quinn shouted "I'M SORRY!"

Multiple hands grab Quinn and shake her violently.

Smirking, Daria said "Too late! You're beyond redemption."

The demon versions of the three J's hold Quinn up. Jeffy asked "What should we do with her?"

Joey suggested "Let's torture her."

Jamie, practically salivating with delight, said "Yesssssssss! Torture!"

The demon Daria grins sadistically.

"Rape her! Rape her until every opening in her body bleeds."

 **The three J's:** "YEEESSSSSSSSS!"

Quinn struggles against them.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

At this point, Quinn hears Jim's disembodied voice.

"Quinn! Quinn, wake up!"

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's bedroom...**

A visibly worried Jim is trying to shake Quinn awake.

"Quinn, wake up!"

Quinn's eyes open.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

In panic, Quinn's eyes nervously scan the room. She calms down as she realizes it was just a bad dream. She turns to Jim with tears in her eyes. She immediately throws her arms around Jim and crys.

"Quinn!?"

"Just... _sob_...hold me. Please."

Jim holds his girlfriend.

"It's alright. You're safe."

* * *

 **Halcyon Hills Office Park, day...**

 **Music:** "She's Got Issues" by The Offspring

Quinn is sitting in a waiting room when one of the doors opens. A woman with brown hair and glasses steps out. Her name is Dr. Keller, psychiatrist.

"Miss Morgendorffer."

Quinn gets up from her seat. A minute later Quinn is seated in a chair across a coffee table from Dr. Keller. The doctor asked "So, how have you been doing?"

Quinn said "I had a nightmare the other night. I dreamed I was in hell and a bunch of demons tried to rape me."

Dr. Keller said "Tell me about these demons."

Nervous, Quinn explained "They looked like people I'd wronged in real life. They said I needed to be punished. They were going to punish me by violently raping me."

"You came here because you felt some guilt about Jeffy and what happened to him."

Quinn explained "He became obsessed with me and tried to become me. He shot my boyfriend before turning the gun on himself and ending his own life. I can't shake the feeling that I'm responsible."

Dr. Keller said "You have a clear case of survivors guilt. Your reaction is pretty normal."

"I just wish these feelings would go away."

Dr. Keller said "In time, they will. Until then, it's important that you be open about it with the people in your life. Just remember, they may have forgiven you but you need to forgive yourself."

Quinn looks thoughtful.

"What really puzzles me is that this didn't happen until I was done nursing Jim back to health."

Dr. Keller said "That's normal. A traumatic event usually doesn't affect you immediately because you're too focused on cleaning up the mess to dwell on it. It's later on, when you have time to actually think about it, that the mental scars start to show."

* * *

 **Morgendorffer House, evening...**

Quinn and Jim are visiting for dinner. In addition to Quinn, Jim, Helen, Jake and Daria, Emma is also there. Emma, as usual, decides to pass judgment on the fact that Quinn and Jim are living together without being married.

"So, Quinn, still living in sin, I see."

Quinn and Jim stare daggers at her. In a stern tone, Helen said "Mother."

Emma backpedals.

"I apologize for that rude comment. I suppose I should be kinder to Jim. He did save Quinn's life, after all."

Quinn looks uncomfortable.

Jake, wanting to change the subject, said "So, how are they treating you at better days?"

Emma rolls her eyes.

"The staff is so condescending. They talk to me like I'm a small child. I'm Emma, of the most esteemed house of Barksdale. I have a fortune."

Daria, remembering how Emma lost it all in the financial meltdown, said "You had a fortune, you mean."

Emma said "Of course. I still can't recall all of those transactions I made over the years."

Helen looks a little curious.

"I thought you were meticulous about that mother."

Emma snipped "I am young lady."

Daria can't resist.

"Despite evidence otherwise. Denial is such a wonderful place."

Emma coldly looks at Daria.

"Mind your manners."

She doesn't strike Daria with her cane, but instead looks at her questioningly. Finally, Emma said "My apologies, I don't believe we've been properly introduced. My name is Emma Barksdale, and you are...?"

Everyone looks puzzled. Daria is slightly taken aback.

"Excuse me?"

Emma looks at Helen.

"Helen, who is this woman? She looks familiar but I can't quite place her."

Helen said "That's Daria, your granddaughter."

Emma exclaimed "You and Jake have children!?"

Emma seems genuinely surprised.

Jake said "You know we have two daughters, Daria and Quinn."

Emma looks confused for a moment before a sudden look of realization crosses her face.

"Oh, yes! I remember now. Sorry about that, Darla."

"It's Daria."

Emma looks confused once again. Everyone else looks concerned.

* * *

 **Better Days Retirement Home, evening...**

Helen has just giving Emma a lift back to the home and is now with her in her suite. Emma's senior moment at dinner has Helen very concerned. Emma said "Thank you for driving me home, Amy."

Helen asked "Mother, what's going on?"

"What do you mean, Helen?"

Helen said "A second ago you accidentally called me Amy. And at dinner you didn't recognize your own granddaughter. Is something going on?"

Emma said "Nothing you need concern yourself with. I've just been a little absent minded lately."

"Mother, absent minded is misplacing your car keys. Forgetting your own grandchildren and confusing your daughters names is something else."

With a reassuring smile, Emma said "I'm perfectly clear, Rita."

Helen looks a little put off.

"You just called me Rita. Are you sure you're all right?"

"Helen, just because I mix up peoples names doesn't mean I have a problem. Let's change the subject, shall we? When are you and Jake going to have children?"

Now, Helen looks VERY concerned.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment building, evening...**

Quinn and Jim are watching TV. On the TV screen is a six year old boy being tazed by a teacher.

 **TV Annoucer:** "It's the latest trend in classroom discipline. Tazing Tykes, next on Sick, Sad World."

Quinn looks uncomfortable.

"Could you turn the TV off? This is making me uncomfortable."

Jim turns the TV off. He then asked "Anything on your mind?"

Quinn said "I don't think I should watch stuff like this for a while. Not until I get a better grip on my issues."

Jim visibly understands.

"Had any more bad dreams?"

Quinn said "Not since the one about going to hell."

Sympathetic, Jim said "Quinn, what happened to Jeffy wasn't your fault. Neither was what happened to me."

"I know, but I still feel guilty."

Jim said "I understand. I guess it takes time. I just want you to know that I love you and I'll be with you every step of the way."

Quinn kisses him on the cheek.

"Thanks, hon."

Jim asked "So, since TV's out, what are we gonna do now?"

Quinn smiles seductively.

"Well, I'm kind of horny. Wanna have sex?"

Jim grins.

"You bet, babe."

Quinn climbs on Jim's lap. They kiss passionately and are about to take off each other's clothes when there's a pounding on the door.

"Tess, let me in. NOW!"

Quinn immediately gets off of Jim as he groans in frustration. Quinn immediately opens the door. Emma barges right in. Shocked, Quinn asked "Grandma Emma!? What are you doing here?"

Emma gets right in Quinn's face.

"I am never speaking to you again, Tess."

"Grandma, I'm Quinn. Great Aunt Tess died seventeen years ago."

Jim looks puzzled.

"Who?"

Emma said "Tess, my twin sister." She turns her attention to Quinn. "Tess, you harlot, you always do this to me."

"Do what?"

Emma slaps Quinn.

"You know perfectly well! Steal away my gentleman callers. I'll never be married at this rate."

Quinn said "Grandma, I'm not your sister. I'm Quinn, your granddaughter. Remember?"

Emma says nothing but looks very confused.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment building, evening...**

Emma is in Quinn and Jim's apartment. In a disturbing senior moment, Emma believes that Quinn is her deceased twin sister, Tess.

"What are you talking about, Tess? We're both still in high school."

With genuine concern, Quinn said "Grandma, you graduated God knows when. What's with you?"

Emma asked "Why are you playing these games?"

Jim seems to get an idea. He said to Emma "Excuse me, but what year do you think it is?"

Emma said "Why, it's 1939 of course."

Jim thought _Classic case of regression._ Out loud, he said "No, it isn't. It's 2009. You need to snap back. You're reliving something that happened seventy years ago."

Cut to the door, which is still open. A cop enters.

"Excuse me, but we got a call about a disturbance in the area. An elderly woman was roaming around screaming gibberish."

Quinn said "It's my grandmother. She seems really confused."

Emma walks right up to the cop and points her cane at Quinn.

"Tell my sister to get out of the house."

The cop looks at Emma, then looks at Quinn.

"With all due respect, ma'am, unless your mother was still bearing children in her eighties there's no way this woman is your sister. Can you tell me who she is?"

A sudden look of realization crosses Emma's face.

"Of course, she's my granddaughter, Quinn."

Emma looks around and seems confused again.

"How did I get here? Last thing I remember was I was watching TV in my room at better days."

The cop, Quinn and Jim all look concerned.

* * *

 **Halycon Hills Office Park, day...**

 **Song:** "Beautiful Day" by U2

Quinn is having another session with Dr. Keller. She's explaining the situation with Emma.

"...so now my grandmother's being tested for Alzheimers."

Dr. Keller said "I see. How does that make you feel?"

Quinn said "I feel worried about her, but not as much as I probably should."

"Why do you say that?"

Quinn explained "A lot of the time I was growing up she and Mom weren't on the best of speaking terms. We didn't see as much of her as we probably would've otherwise."

Dr. Keller said "So, there's a certain level of estrangement between your mother and grandmother?"

"Yes, grandma Emma was always a difficult person. Mom believes she favored her sister over her."

"How old is your grandmother, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Let's see. She was born in 1922, so...," Quinn quickly does the math in her head, "...eighty-seven."

Dr. Keller said "If it is Alzheimers then she's probably been going downhill for a while now. Alzheimers symptoms usually appear in the victim's late sixties or early seventies. I'll use a famous example from recent history: Ronald Reagan. His Alzheimers was publicly disclosed in 1994, when it became impossible to hide anymore. He probably started showing symptoms during his first term as President."

Quinn looks thoughtful.

Dr. Keller asked "Have you had any more nightmares?"

Quinn said "Not since the last one. I keep reminding myself that what happened wasn't my fault. I had no way of knowing Jeffy would lose his mind and wind up...like he did."

"But you still blame yourself?"

Quinn nods.

Dr. Keller asked "How do you think you can overcome this?"

Quinn said "I need to remind myself that I didn't know things would happen the way they did. Back in high school I never imagined one of the guys I strung along would go crazy. If I knew what would happen I would've definitely done things differently."

Dr. Keller said "You just need to remind yourself of that whenever these feelings of guilt come up. You did things you shouldn't have when you were younger, but everyone has. It doesn't make you a bad person."

Quinn looks thoughtful.

* * *

 **Cedars of Lawndale, day...**

Emma, accompanied by Helen and Rita, is in a doctor's office anxiously awaiting the results of her tests.

"What if I am losing it?"

Rita said "Mother, let's not worry about that right now."

The doctor enters. He's a gray haired man in a lab coat.

"Mrs. Barksdale, Miss Barksdale, Mrs. Morgendorffer, I'm Dr. Holtzer, head of neurology."

Helen asked "How's our mother?"

Dr. Holtzer takes a seat behind his desk. He said "Well, she shows impaired cognition in the tests and a diminished ability to retain information. The MRI and CT scans showed diminished activity in the memory center of her brain. To a degree where I imagine she's been in a state of mental decline for a very long time."

At this moment, Rita has a look of realization on her face. She said "When Aunt Tess died she seemed absent minded. I thought it was just grief at first, but after a few years she started having moments where she seemed to space out. It was like the lights were on but no one was home. Remember Erin's wedding?"

Helen, visibly embarrassed, said "I'll never forget it." (Thought VO) _No matter how hard I try._

Emma said "I remember. It was such a lovely affair."

Rita explained "Mom, you weren't there. The reason was that you were spacing out pretty badly at that time and didn't want to make a spectacle of yourself."

Emma looks thoughtful.

"Of course, I remember now. I'm so sorry about that. But I got better."

Rita said "For a time. You still had the "episodes" but they happened less frequently."

Dr. Holtzer said "Not surprising. During the first decade of progression Alzheimers symptoms come and go. Brief periods of dementia separated by long periods of seeming fine."

Rita explained "It's been happening a lot more frequently in recent years. I've been hiding it to spare Mom any embarrassment, but it's at a point where that's not possible anymore."

Emma's jaw drops.

"Rita, what are you saying?"

Dr. Holtzer said "Mrs. Barksdale, what your daughter just explained to me confirms what the tests indicate. You are in the middle stages of Alzheimers."

Emma gasps in horror.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment, evening...**

 **Music:** "Thanks For The Memories" by Fall Out Boy

Jim is scratching Storm behind the ears while Quinn is on the phone.

"Hey, Storm. Who's a good boy?"

Storm happily wags his tail. Cut to Quinn.

"Mom, I'm so sorry...I will...Bye."

Quinn hangs up and sits next to Jim. Jim asked "What's going on?"

Quinn said "Grandma Emma has Alzheimers."

"Ouch! Quinn, I'm sorry."

Quinn said "I wish there was something I could do."

Jim explained "If this is Alzheimers then there's nothing anyone can do. Your grandmother's only gonna get worse."

"Will she die?"

Not wanting to emotionally burden Quinn further, Jim said "Quinn, you really shouldn't think about that."

Quinn is undeterred.

"Jim, I need to know."

"You've had a lot on your plate lately. I don't know if now's the best time."

Quinn refuses to back off.

"Jim, please. I can handle it."

Jim sighed as he knew there was no way Quinn would drop this subject. He said "I'm no expert, but the way I understand it is that Alzheimers does lead to death. The brain gradually shuts down until the person's a vegetable. Eventually, the brain forgets how to maintain life functions and this results in death. Of course, by then the patient has already long since checked out anyway."

Quinn asked "How long does she have?"

"It's hard to tell. She may only have a few years. I'm sorry."

Jim sees the worried look on Quinn's face and feels guilty.

"I shouldn't have told you all that."

Quinn puts a hand on Jim's shoulder.

"It's okay, Jim."

She hugs him.

"Whatever happens, I still have you."

He kisses her on the forehead.

"You always will."

* * *

 **Better Days Retirement Home, day...**

Emma is watching TV in her suite. There's a knock on the door.

"Come in."

Quinn enters. Emma is pleasantly surprised.

"Why, Quinn, how are you?"

Quinn is visibly relieved to see that Emma is coherent. She takes a seat.

"I'm good, Grandma Emma. I'm actually a little worried about you. How are you holding up?"

Emma said "Well, I am still dealing with the shock of an overdue Alzheimer's diagnosis. It's hard to accept that I'm losing my mind. I'm just glad that today is one of my good days."

Quinn said "Me too, Grandma. In fact, that's why I'm here."

Emma can detect the concern in Quinn's voice.

"Quinn, what's wrong?"

Quinn explained "Well, it's occurred to me that we don't know each other as well as we should. This diagnosis has sort of brought home the fact that we won't have many more opportunities to bond. I'm sorry we all took you for granted."

Emma said "Don't be. I haven't been the easiest person to get along with. On my clear thinking days I've come to realize just how much I've done to drive your mother away."

"I don't know if you remember, but the other night when you showed up at my place you seemed to think I was Great Aunt Tess."

Emma said "Tess was my twin sister. We didn't have the best relationship growing up."

Quinn said "I thought as much."

Emma asked "Would you like to hear the story of how your grandfather and I met?"

Quinn smiles warmly.

"I'd love to."

* * *

 **A two story house in Virginia Beach, 1939...**

In one of the upstairs bedrooms a teenage girl fixing her hair in front of the mirror. She's wearing a modest evening dress and is clearly getting ready for a date. She looks like Quinn but with a 1930's hairstyle. It's Emma when she was seventeen.

 **Emma:** (VO from 2009) "It was my senior year of high school. I was going to the homecoming dance."

1939 Emma thought _I can't wait to go to the dance with Arthur. He's such a fine gentleman._

From behind, a voice that sounds a lot like Quinn, but with a southern accent, said "You ready for your big date?"

It's Tess, Emma's twin sister. Both she and Emma are the spitting image of Quinn when she was in high school.

Emma said "Yes. Maybe if you actually looked for a gentleman caller instead of just taking them to the backseat for fornication you'd have a date."

 **2009 Emma:** "I was a proper young lady while Tess...Let's just say she had a "reputation"."

Tess rolled her eyes and said "Don't be such a stuck up prude."

Emma said "I'm no prude, but you let any man have you and it's embarrassing. If we didn't look so alike I'd claim to be an only child."

Tess becomes angry.

"I wish I was. Better than having a stuck up bitch like you for a sister."

Emma said "Tess, language!"

"Prude!"

"Temptress!"

"Snob!"

"Harlot!"

They look like they're about to come to blows when they hear their mother calling from downstairs.

"Emma, you're gentleman caller is here."

Emma happily skips out of the room. Tess stares daggers at her.

 **2009 Emma:** "I should've known Tess would try something after that argument. She never was one to let things go."

* * *

 **Glennhaven High School (looks like Lawndale High), Evening...**

 **2009 Emma:** "Later that evening I was at the dance with my boyfriend at the time, Arthur Morris."

On the stage is a big band playing jazz music under a banner that reads "Homecoming 1939". A teenage Emma dancing with a young man who looks like Jamie. He's Arthur.

Emma said "This song is so lovely."

Arthur said "Not as lovely as you, Emma."

Emma blushes.

 **2009 Emma:** That's when SHE showed up.

Another couple dances by. The guy speaks to Arthur and Emma.

"Emma, your sister's here."

Cut to the refreshment table and we see Tess. She's wearing an evening gown that's quite revealing (by 1939 standards). It's strapless and shows ample cleavage. Cut back to Emma.

Emma thought _What's she doing here?_

Arthur is visibly taken in by Tess's looks. Tess walks up to them in a seductive manner.

"I'm cutting in, sis. Arthur, may I have this dance?"

Arthur is too turned on to say no.

"Of course."

He begins to dance with Tess while Emma looks indignant. Emma goes to the refreshment table and pours herself some punch. She looks pissed.

 _The nerve of her._

Emma looks at the dance floor in time to see Tess and Arthur kiss passionately. Her sister has effectively stolen her boyfriend. Emma looks absolutely devastated.

 _That strumpet!_

 **Quinn:** (VO from 2009) Grandma, that's terrible!

 **2009 Emma:** I was totally devastated, so I left.

* * *

 **The parking lot at Glennhaven High...**

Emma is sitting on the sidewalk and crying. A young man approaches her.

"Excuse me, miss, but are you alright?"

Emma looks up and sees a smartly dressed man who appears to be in either his late teens or early twenties. He has short hair that's the same color as Helen's. He sits down next to her.

"What's wrong?"

Emma said "M... _sniff_...My sister just stole my boyfriend."

The young man is sympathetic.

"I'm sorry. Why don't I do something to cheer you up?"

"Like what?"

"Well, there's an ice cream shop across the street. I'll pay."

 **2009 Emma:** Something about him let me know that I could trust him. I can't explain it, but I've never regretted it.

The teenage Emma smiled and said "I'd like that."

The young man takes her hand and helps her up.

"By the way, my name's Richard. Richard Barksdale."

"Emma Landry."

They walk arm-in-arm to the ice cream store.

* * *

 **An ice cream shop called "Seaside Malt Shoppe", 1939...**

Richard and Emma are each having a sundae and talking. They are visibly enamored with each other.

 **2009 Emma:** It was love at first sight.

1939 Emma said "So, you're a student at Norfolk State?"

Richard said "Yup. I'm majoring in finance. After I graduate I'm going into the family business."

Emma asked "And what business is that?"

"My father owns a small bank in Norfolk. What about you? What are your plans for the future?"

Emma said "I had hoped to someday marry Arthur. (bitter) Fat chance of that happening now.

Richard said "He was a jerk to jilt you for your sister. If I were your boyfriend I'd never do something like that."

Emma blushes and smiles.

* * *

 **Later that evening...**

Richard is escorting Emma to the front door of her house.

Emma said "I had a pleasant evening, Richard."

Richard said "So did I, Emma. Who would've thought an evening stroll would lead me to a swell girl like you."

Richard and Emma stare into each other's eyes. They lean in until, finally, they kiss.

* * *

 **Emma's suite at Better Days in 2009...**

Emma is telling Quinn the story. She said "Your grandfather and I were practically inseparable after that night. After he finished college he joined the army because by then we'd entered World War II. He served in the European theater and was wounded at the Battle of the Bulge. He was sent home and medically discharged from the army. After the war we were married. He took over his father's bank just in time to profit from the post-war housing boom. That's how he made his entire fortune."

Quinn wipes a stray tear from her cheek.

"That's so sweet, Grandma."

Emma said "You know, Quinn, the way you and Jim look at each other reminds me of how Richard and I used to look at each other. You two are going to always be together, I know it."

Quinn looks VERY thoughtful.

* * *

 **Quinn and Jim's apartment building, evening...**

Quinn and Jim are seated together on the couch. She's just repeated Emma's story to Jim.

"That was a great story, Quinn."

"I know. It made me glad that I decided to spend some quality time with Grandma today."

Quinn now looks serious.

"Jim."

"Yes."

Quinn said "About what happened with Jeffy. I've been thinking it over and this stuff with my grandmother put some things into perspective. Yes, I was a selfish brat as a teenager. If I'd known the ultimate consequences I would've done things differently. The fact is that what happened happened for a reason. I may never know what that reason is but I can't go through life hating myself for what happened in the past. I can go through life trying to be a better person. That's what I'm going to do. What happened to Jeffy was his own fault. After all, Joey went on to live a normal life and I'm sure Jamie has, too."

Jim said "Quinn, you did bad things because you didn't know any better, we all have. It doesn't make you a bad person. You're actually one of the most decent people I know. You're smart, kind hearted and always willing to help others. That's why I love you."

"I love you too."

They kiss.

* * *

 **The parking lot in front of Quinn and Jim's apartment...**

Jim unlocks and enters his Camaro. He reaches into the glove box and pulls something out. That something is the ring he bought in Paris. Jim looks at it.

 _It's the right time. I've never been more sure of anything. I just have to wait for a perfect moment._

Jim immediately gets an idea.

 _Our anniversary is in a few weeks. That's when I'll ask her to marry me._

* * *

 **Next Time**

On their four year anniversary, Jim pops the big question. Will Quinn say yes?


	14. Jersey Sure

**Opening Montage**

 **Theme Song:** "Jersey Girl" by Cash Cash

We see Quinn and Jim walking arm in arm down the street gazing affectionately at each other. Next, we see them at a diner on a double date with Chuck and Stacy. Close up of Quinn and her red hair. Next, we see Quinn dancing at a club. Jim comes into view and sweeps her off of her feet and they kiss. Cut to a bunch of guys looking jealous. Next, we see them speeding on the highway in Jim's Camaro. We see them playing a carnival game at the shore next. We see Quinn calming down a frustrated Sandi while Jim beams proudly. Next, we see her and Jim at a bar on a double date with Trent and Lindy. Finally, we see Quinn's smiling face in a circle with a pink background. Below that...

 **Quinn**

 **in**

 **"Jersey Sure"**

 **story by**

 **WildDogJJ**

 **A street in Lawndale, evening...**

Jim is driving his Camaro while Quinn's in the passenger seat. They're on their way home from a night out. Quinn said "Thanks for taking me to Cest La Ve, Jim."

Jim replied "Well, after what happened I figured you'd want someplace other than Chez Pierre. By the way, how are you doing with that?"

Quinn answered "I'm not having nightmares anymore. I still feel bad about what happened, but it's getting easier to deal. I never wanna go to Chez Pierre again, though."

Jim can fully understand that given what happened. He's in no hurry to return to the place where he got shot either. He said "No one does. Ever since the incident that place has been losing customers in droves."

They both visibly want to change the subject. Jim did so by asking "Quinn, do you know what this coming weekend is?"

Quinn knows but decides to play dumb. In a playful tone she said "Noooo. Tell me."

"Four years since our third date, the one where we became exclusive."

Quinn smiles. Jim always remembers these things. She asked "Did you have anything special in mind?"

Jim said "I booked us a hotel room in Seaside Heights. I figure a weekend at the sight of our third date would be both romantic and sentimental."

Smiling affectionately, Quinn said "You always we're the sentimental type."

She kisses him on the cheek.

"Just one of the reasons I love you."

Jim smiles.

* * *

 **Morgendorffer House, evening...**

 **Music:** "Poker Face" by Lady Ga Ga

Helen's Prius (she ditched the SUV long ago) pulls into the driveway. Helen steps out and looks frustrated.

 _It's getting harder to keep a neutral face around the other partners. They're such sleazebags that firing my associates would be an act of mercy if we weren't in a recession._

Helen walks in to the house. She enters the kitchen and is surprised to find Daria...cooking!?

"Daria, I thought it was your father's turn to cook."

Daria said "It is, but he wanted to make Kitchen Sink Stew. I immediately took over cooking duties for the sake of all of our stomachs."

 _Smart move._ Helen thought as she asked "Where is your father, anyway?"

"I suggested he clean the garage as a distraction."

Just then they hear a crashing sound coming from the garage, followed by Jake's voice.

"GAHHH! DAMMIT!"

Helen rolls her eyes.

"That figures."

Daria notices the haggard tone in her mother's voice.

"I take it you had another rough day at work."

Helen said "Is that ever an understatement. If we weren't in a recession I'd quit law entirely after firing all of my associates."

Daria said "I take it you consider that an act of mercy."

With a sigh, Helen said "When I decided to pursue law it was because I believed I could make the world a better place. Instead, I'm just being part of the problem. Making partner was great for the first year. Since then I've just grown more disillusioned. My life sucks."

Daria said "Life in general sucks, but the alternative sucks even worse."

Helen smiles.

"I think we had a similar conversation ten years ago, only I was saying what you're saying." _They really do grow up so fast._

Daria smiles.

Helen said "Well, I'd better see how your father's doing."

As Helen leaves Daria looks at her with obvious sympathy.

 _You worked so hard for so long, and it was all for nothing._

She sniffs the air. She looks at the pot on the stove and sees that the chicken she was cooking is now black and smoking.

"Dammit."

* * *

 **Lindy's house, day...**

Quinn and Lindy are in the living room, sitting on the couch and talking. Quinn has Storm with her. Lindy said "So, a romantic weekend at the shore, huh?"

Quinn said "Yeah, the same place where we first decided to be exclusive. Thanks for dog sitting Storm."

Lindy shrugs.

"It's less tempting to relapse when I have something to do. I'm surprised you didn't ask Stacy."

Quinn said "She's got her hands full as it is. She's completely over the post-partum depression now, but a two month old baby is still pretty time consuming. Speaking of issues, how's the drinking?"

Lindy said "Been sober almost four months now."

Quinn has an encouraging smile.

"Lindy, that's great."

Lindy said "Another reason I agreed to take Storm. Without a drivers license I've been going a little stir crazy."

Quinn asked "When do you get your license back?"

"December. At least you won't have to chauffer me when I go Christmas shopping."

"It's no trouble, Lindy."

Lindy sighs.

"Quinn, I'm thirty-years old. You'd think I've learned my lesson before now."

Quinn reassured her friend.

"Lindy, thirty isn't that old. My Dad can be a complete man-child and he's fifty-nine."

Both girls laugh because it's true.

* * *

 **Helen's office at Vitale, Horowitz, Davis, Riordin, Schrecter, Schrecter, Schrecter and Morgendorffer...**

Helen is at her desk looking bored when Maryanne comes in.

"What's my schedule today, Maryanne?"

Maryanne said "You have a meeting with that guy involved in the oil spill class action suite, lunch with the other partners, and then the casino executive to discuss his tax evasion case."

Helen groans.

 _First, the oil exec who won't spend money to safeguard against spills, then lunch with the scum of the earth, followed by helping a toupee wearing misogynist cheat on his taxes while he abuses his employees. I never thought I'd say this but I REALLY hate my job._

Maryanne notices the distraught expression on Helen's face.

"Is something wrong?"

Sounding haggard, Helen said "What do you really think of this firm? And, please, be honest."

Marryanne looks uncomfortable, which Helen notices.

"Don't worry. I won't get angry or fire you if I don't like what I hear. I just want an honest opinion."

"You won't tell the other partners!?"

"No."

Reassured, Maryanne said "Well, to be honest, I find some of what we do to be...immoral. We help the richest one percent screw everyone else over a lot of the time. I actually like how you've gotten us to take a few pro-bono cases, but you seem to be the exception. Underhandedness seems to be the rule here."

Helen bitterly replied "I actually agree with you. I wanted to be part of the solution when I first became a lawyer. I never dreamed that thirty years later I'd actually be part of the problem. As for immoral, you don't know the half of it."

Maryanne gives Helen a curious look. Helen responds by saying "If you knew what really goes on at the partner level you'd quit in disgust."

Maryanne asked "Why don't you? It sounds like you want to."

"Two reasons. One, we're in a recession. Two, I signed a non competittion agreement with this place. I'd have to change careers if I left."

Maryanne is visibly sympathetic as it's obvious that Helen feels trapped in a job she's grown to hate.

* * *

 **Seaside Heights, NJ, day...**

Quinn and Jim have a room at a hotel called "Seaside Inn". The room is small with a nautical decor and a single bed. Jim is wearing a T-short and board shorts. Quinn is in the bathroom. Jim sits on the side of the bed and looks at the ring he bought two years earlier in Paris.

 _So glad I held on to this. I just have to wait for the right moment._

The door to the bathroom can be heard opening. Jim immediately puts the ring in a nightstand. Quinn said "Ready to go, honey?"

Jim glances in her direction. Quinn in a blue string bikini that leaves little to the imagination. She has a transparent pink sash tied around her waist. Cut to a visibly impressed Jim.

"Damn, where have you been hiding that sexy little number?"

Quinn smiles seductively.

"You like it? I figured you would. I've been saving it for this occasion. After all, I love being sexy for my man."

Jim said "You could wear an oversized t-shirt and sweatpants and I'd still find you sexy."

Walking seductively toward Jim, Quinn said "I know, buut...," her voice takes on a very sultry tone, "...this is a lot less for you to take off later."

Jim is visibly turned on.

* * *

 **The beach at Seaside Heights, day...**

 **Music:** "Right Round" by Flo Rida

Quinn and Jim lounging on a beach towel. Quinn has removed the pink sash and Jim is no longer wearing a t-shirt. Some guys walk by and are checking Quinn out before eyeing Jim with envy. One of the guys, upon seeing Jim, muttered under his breath "Dude must be rich".

Jim, who overheard that remark, turns to Quinn.

"Hey, Quinn, those guys who were checking you out think I'm rich."

Quinn stares daggers at the guys, which Jim notices. He said "Relax, Quinn. I think it's flattering."

Quinn said "I don't. I used to, but now it upsets me to hear comments like that."

Jim looks curious.

"How come?"

Quinn said "Because it means that people assume I'm a shallow gold digger just because I'm beautiful."

That sounds so much like her sister that Jim just has to comment.

"Did you and Daria undergo a brain transplant recently?"

Quinn blushes.

"I did sound like her just now, didn't I?"

Just then a young couple approach. The woman is a blonde in her early twenties in a skimpy purple bikini while the man is a twentysomething guy in blue board shorts with huge muscles and gelled spikes in his brown hair. The couple spot Quinn and Jim and are impressed. The guy, sounding a little star struck, said to Jim "Dude! Are you Jim the Car Guy?"

Jim nods. The guy said "My names Mike. I'm a fan of your YouTube channel."

Flattered, Jim shakes hands with Mike.

"Pleased to meet you."

The girl is just as star struck by Quinn.

"OHMYGOD! You're the "Smores 'n' Pores" girl. I'm, like, your biggest fan. My name's Paula."

Quinn and Paula shake hands.

"Nice to meet you. Nice tan."

Paula said "Thanks! I got it from one of your videos, the one where you showed how after making macaroons the leftover coconut oil can be used as a bronzer."

Quinn is visibly flattered.

Mike said "Jim, thanks to you I know how to change my own oil. Beats getting ripped off by a mechanic."

Paula asked "Can we take a picture with you guys?"

Quinn and Jim smile. They were struggling to make ends meet a few months before. Now, they're famous. God bless the internet.

* * *

 **Meeting Room at Law Offices of Vitale, Davis, Horowitz, Riordin, Schrecter, Schrecter, Schrecter and Morgendorffer...**

The partners are having a meeting. The most senior partner is Jim Vitale, a blading man in his sixties with gray hair and a slight beer gut. Chuck Davis is also a sixty something with a very obvious toupee. Michael Horowitz has curly red hair, buck teeth and thick-rimmed glasses. Harvey Riordin is a fifty-something with slicked back gray hair who never takes his sunglasses off in order to hide the fact that he's coked up all the time. The other two Schrecter brothers look like older versions of Eric. Eric has yet to arrive and Helen looks like she'd rather be anywhere but there. Finally, a dishelved Eric enters.

"Sorry I'm late.," He grins lecherously, "That hot intern just can't get enough of me."

Grinning, Harvey said "You were getting laid. No need to apologize for that."

Chuck added "I wish I could still get a hot piece of ass like that."

The guys all high five while Helen looks like she doesn't know whether to vomit or strangle Eric.

 _Misygonistic pigs!_

Eric takes his seat. Vitale has a huge grin on his face. Helen frowns with dread because she knows she's about to hear something she'll find highly offensive.

Vitale joked "Why do women have breasts? So guys have something to look at while they're talking."

The other guys burst into loud laughter while Helen is so pissed she can't keep silent anymore.

"With all due respect, Mr. Vitale, I find that joke crude and offensive."

Eric stares daggers at Helen. In a condescending tone, he said "Well, looks like someones having that time of the month."

Helen wants to slap him, but the look on Eric's face makes her think better of it.

 _He wants me to slap him so he can sue me for assault._

Helen lowers her hand and silently simmers with rage.

Vitale said "Enough fun, let's get down to business. Harvey, how's that lawsuit against the domestic violence shelter going?"

Harvey said "The judge awarded our client one-hundred million. We get ten mil in addition to the legal fees. Granted, those women now have to go back to their abusers. But hey, money's money."

The other guys nod in agreement. Helen is despondent over the fact that the other partners don't give a shit about innocent people.

 _What have I become?_

* * *

 **An outdoor cafe called "Crab Shack", evening...**

Jim and Quinn are enjoying a seafood dinner. They're still in their beach wear. Quinn said "I can't believe we actually met some fans of ours today."

"I know." said Jim, "It was almost surreal. You don't think they were too disappointed, do you? I mean, we were acting like ourselves."

Quinn said "I think they were smart enough to know that my shallow girl persona and your macho persona are just an act. What do you wanna do after dinner?"

Jim suggested "We could go back to the hotel, change clothes and go clubbing."

Quinn said "Since everything's within walking distance we could bar hop."

"That could work."

Jim looks serious.

"Quinn, what do you think of us?"

Quinn asked "What do you mean?"

Jim said "Ten years ago I never thought I could get a girl like you. Granted, I know better now, but part of me still can't believe my luck."

Flattered, Quinn said "To be honest, Jim, if we met in high school you probably wouldn't have liked me very much. I was pretty stuck up back then."

"Yeah," Jim reassured, "but no girl is the same person at 26 that she was at 16."

Quinn blushes.

"Thanks. Even after four years you still make me feel special."

Jim said "Because you are."

Quinn blushes even more. She said "Jim, to be honest, if I'd met you in high school I probably would've been attracted to you. But I never would've publicly admitted it due to peer pressure. I've seen your old yearbook picture."

Jim said "You would've found me repulsive in middle school, but everyone did. That was before I lost the weight and the acne cleared up."

Quinn said "That was then. Now, you embody everything I've ever wanted in a guy."

"And you embody everything I've ever wanted in a woman."

They look at each other. Quinn gets an idea.

"How about after dinner we just take a romantic stroll along the boardwalk?"

Jim said "Works for me."

Quinn, in a sultry tone, said "And after that...," Under the table she suggestively runs her foot up and down Jim's leg. ,"...we could have some really hot vacation sex."

Jim grins slyly.

"I love the sound of that."

* * *

 **Morgendorffer House, evening...**

Jake, Helen and Daria are sitting at the kitchen table having (big surprise) microwave lasagna. Helen asked "So, how was everyone's day?"

Beaming, Jake said "I finally did it! I finally solved that Rubik's Cube."

Daria deadpanned "And it only took you twenty-seven years."

The deadpan flying over his head, Jake said "I know! It helps when you have more free time because your business went under. A constant reminder that I'm a failure. A failure, just like my old man always said I was!"

Helen and Daria frown as they see where this is going.

Jake ranted "Oh, he just always had to tell me I WAS NEVER GOOD ENOUGH! IF THAT MISERABLE OLD BASTARD WAS STILL ALIVE HE'D SPEND EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY GODDAMN DAY TELLING ME WHAT A USELESS LITTLE SHIT I AM! "YOU'LL NEVER BE A MAN, JAKE." "YOU'RE JUST A SISSY LITTLE GIRL, JAKE." "STAND AND F #$ING ATTENTION, YOU LITTLE MAGGOT.""

Jake looks at the floor and shakes his fist.

"HAPPY NOW, MAD DOG!? YOU WERE RIGHT!"

Daria hands Jake a pamphlet.

"Look, Dad. A survey about male potency."

Jake's expression brightens as he takes the pamphlet.

"Neat-o!"

With Jake snapped out of his rant, Helen asks "Daria, how was your day?"

Daria said "Well, I got rejection letters from all the places I sent a resume to, my Monster account has had zero hits, and I was even told that Cluster Burger's not hiring when I asked for an application. So, I had a pretty typical day. How about you?"

Helen, in a deadpan that rivals Daria's, said "Well, I spent the day listening to the other partners tell sexist jokes when they weren't bragging about putting battered women and children on the street with a frivolous lawsuit, so I had a pretty typical day too."

Daria appears both impressed and concerned.

"Are you alright, Mom?"

Helen slumps her shoulders and sighs. She said "No. The more I learn about how the firm really works, the more disgusted I become. At this point, the bad economy is my only reason to stay on. My dream of breaking the glass ceiling has turned into a nightmare."

Daria looks sympathetic. She said "If it's any consolation, Mom, my dream never came true either. I fully expected to either be a published author or Lit professor by now. I never imagined I'd come out of grad school entering a job market so tight that my only option is long term unemployment and moving back in with my parents."

They exchange understanding looks.

Helen said "Looks like we're in good company with each other. We're both trapped in a lousy situation with no way out."

Daria said "At least it's only temporary. This recession can't last forever." After a brief pause, she added "I hope."

* * *

 **Seaside Inn, night...**

 **Music:** "I Got A Felling" by The Black Eyed Peas

Quinn and Jim are in their hotel room having some very passionate sex. They knew exactly how to drive each other wild in bed. The sex is a perfect balance between animalistic, kinky and loving. It culminates in an epic mutual climax. As they come down from their orgasmic high they lay in bed, naked in each other's arms.

Quinn gasped "That...was...incredible!"

Jim grunted "I forgot how hot vacation sex actually is. I could get used to this. So, enjoying our anniversary so far?"

Quinn grins seductively.

"Like you even have to ask."

They kiss. Afterward, Quinn said "I can't believe it, but even after a mind blowing orgasm like that I'm still horny."

Jim said "Me too. But, then again, I'm a guy. We're always horny."

Quinn laughs as it's both funny and true.

Jim said "You know, technically our anniversary is tomorrow."

Quinn seductively runs her finger up and down Jim's bare chest.

"You have anything special in mind?"

Jim thought _A marriage proposal._ Out loud, he said "It's a surprise."

In a sultry tone, Quinn said "Ooooo, I love surprises. In the mean time...", Her hand slides down his body and disappears under the sheets, "...let's see if I can get you up for another round."

Jim smiles. It's going to be one hell of a night.

* * *

 **A diner in Seaside Heights called "Oceanview Diner", morning...**

Quinn and Jim are seated at a booth having coffee. A waitress comes up to them.

"Can I take your order?"

Pointing at Quinn, Jim said "She'll have a fruit cup."

"And you, sir?"

Pointing at Jim, Quinn said "He'll have over easy eggs and bacon."

Now, the waitress raises an eyebrow.

"Do you two always order for each other?"

Jim bragged "That's how well we no each other. She's something of a health nut."

Quinn added "And he only ever eats eggs and bacon for breakfast."

In an insincere tone the waitress said "How cute."

With that, the waitress leaves. Once she was gone Quinn asked "Is there any reason you ordered for me just now?"

Jim answered "Just felt like showing off. I didn't mean anything by it."

Smiling, Quinn said "I know. I just don't want people to get the wrong impression and think you're some kind of abusive control freak."

Jim looks thoughtful.

"Now that you mention it, I did come off as condescending there."

Smiling, Quinn said "Maybe just a little."

They both laugh.

Quinn asked "So, when do I get this anniversary surprise?"

"This evening."

"What do you have in mind?"

In a playful tone, Jim said "Now, that would be telling."

Equally playful, Quinn said "Can't blame a girl for trying."

They smile at each other.

* * *

 **The boardwalk at Seaside Heights, day...**

 **Music:** "You Belong With Me" by Taylor Swift

Quinn and Jim are walking and talking. Quinn is telling Jim a story from her high school days.

"...so Brittany's bratty little brother ran by me and caused me to spill my drink all over the crotch of my jeans."

Jim snickers.

"I know what that must've looked like."

Quinn said "Sandi added to my embarrassment by mentioning that at the time. When I tried to clean up the stain I accidently sat on the bands mixing board and that caused the trophy Mr. Taylor made for Brittany to shatter. I was really distraught after that."

Jim asked "So, what got you off that guardian angel kick?"

Quinn said "A pep talk from Daria, which was kind of weird since pep is not a word you'd use to describe her then...,"pause, "...or now."

They both laugh.

Jim said "Speaking of memories, remember when that Jessica woman tried to steal me from you?"

Quinn said "I was so proud that you resisted her charms. Whatever happened to her anyway?"

"Her attempt to seduce me made things so awkward between us that she quit a few days later. Last I heard she hooked up with a married guy."

Quinn joked "A natural born homewrecker."

They laugh.

Quinn said "I knew it was love when you came back from Japan to be with me, even though I was about to go there to be with you. You resisting Jessica just confirmed it that much more. Also, I know feet gross you out but that doesn't stop you from massaging mine every time I ask."

Jim said "Well, you literally handled my shit when I was recovering from that gunshot so I think we're even on the grossing each other out end of things."

"Yeah, but still...Ewww!"

They both laugh again.

* * *

 **Helen's office at Vitale, Davis, Horowitz, Riordin, Schrecter, Schrecter, Schrecter and Morgendorffer...**

Helen is seated at her desk looking down. She's deep in thought.

 _When did it all go wrong? I was an idealistic hippie when it all started. Jake and I left that commune because we wanted to change the system from within. But Sunflower was right, we didn't change the system, it changed us. I went into law because I wanted to help people. Oh, I helped alright. I helped corporations cheat on their taxes, people guilty as sin get off scot free and domestic violence victims get sent back to their abusers. I wanted to change the world for the better, but it was all a lie._

Helen sighs.

 _First, those ignorant rednecks I worked for in Highland. I only stuck with them as long as I did because I had a family to provide for and Jake's paycheck couldn't be stretched far enough to cover the lifestyle we'd grown accustomed to by then. Finally, after almos two decades, I look for a job elsewhere and find this place. They promised a fast review for partner because of all my experience. That turned out to just be a hook they used to string me along._

Helen smiles.

 _Still, I did eventually make partner._

Now, she frowns again.

 _After threatening a gender discrimination suit._

Her wallowing in self pity is interrupted by the buzz of her intercom. Helen presses the talk button.

"Yes."

Over the intercom, Maryanne said "Your eleven o'clock is here."

"Send her in."

A woman with blonde hair who appears to be in her thirties enters. Her beauty marred by a black eye.

"I'm Angela Carson."

"Helen Morgendorffer. Please, have a seat."

Angela sits down.

"I want to sue my boyfriend for assault. He's been abusing me for years and I've had enough."

Helen said "I can help you. You came to the right place."

Angela said "Before I tell you everything, I need to let you know that I'm not sure I can pay my legal fees. That was why the other lawyers I talked to turned me down. You're my last hope."

Helen smiles.

"Considering what's going on, I'd be happy to take your case pro bono."

Angela, who can hardly believe her luck, smiles.

"Thanks."

Helen thought _I may be surrounded by morally bankrupt parasites, but I can at least do the right thing here._

* * *

 **Musical Montage**

 **Music:** "Space Age Love Song" by A Flock Of Seagulls

We first see Quinn and Jim having a picnic on the beach. This is followed by them playing a game oof darts on the boardwalk. Jim wins a large teddy bear that he immediately gives to Quinn. Next shot is three guys surfing. Quinn walks by and it distracts them so much that they all wipe out. Next, Jim and Quinn are playfully splashing each other in the water. Next, we see Quinn and Jim running along the shore holding hands and smiling. They fall into the shallow water. Cut to Jim's POV and we see Quinn smiling lovingly at him. Cut to Quinn's POV and we see Jim smile back. Cut to third person and we see them kiss. Next, we see Quinn and Jim riding the farris wheel on the pier. They are visibly having a good time. This is followed by a shot of them at a t-shirt shop asking the clerk for a custom design. Cut to them walking outside with the new t-shirts. Quinn's has a heart that says "Quinn and Jim 4ever" while Jim's has an arrow pointing to Quinn and reads "I'm with Her". Next, we see them posing for a caricature artist. He gives them the protrait. We see it showing caricatures of Quinn and Jim staring lovingly at each other under a caption that reads "Forever". Montage ends with a panoramic shot of the town with a beautiflu sunset in the background.

* * *

 **The boardwalk at Seaside Heights, evening...**

It's a beautiful evening with a full moon. Quinn and Jim are standing at the edge admiring the view. Quinn asked "Jim, when do I get my surprise?"

Jim responded by asking "Do you know where we are?"

Quinn gasps in realization.

"This is the spot where we decided to go steady!"

Jim said "Exactly four years ago today."

Quinn is visibly impressed. Jim looked her right in the eyes and said "Quinn, I love you. I always have loved you and always will love you. When I wake up in the morning and see you next to me in the bed I have to remind myself that I'm not dreaming. I really did get the girl of my dreams."

Lost in the moment, Quinn said "I feel the same way when I see you. I really am with someone who embodies everything I ever wanted in a guy. I'll always love you, Jim."

As they continue to stare into each others eyes, Jim said "These past four years have been incredible. Even when we do hit a rough patch we always seem to emerge from it a stronger couple. I'd do anything to make you happy, Quinn."

Quinn said "And I'd do anything to make you happy, Jim."

"I think you're ready for the surprise."

Jim gets down on one knee. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small jewelry box. He opens the box. It contains the ring he bought in Paris. The ring is 24 karat gold with a tiffany cut diamond. The word "Always" is engraved on the band.

"Quinn, will you marry me?"

Quinn gasps. She knew this would happen eventually, but it's still a surprise. Jim has a hopeful smile. Quinn stares at the ring with her mouth open. Jim is visibly starting to get nervous. Finally, a huge smile appears on Quinn's face as a stray tear of joy runs down her cheek.

"Yes! Yes, Jim, I will marry you."

Jim immediately stands up and places the ring on Quinn's finger. Quinn stares at the ring in amazement.

"Jim, it's beautiful."

She immediately throws her arms around him.

"Oh, Jim, I love you so much."

"I love you too, Quinn."

They kiss. After the kiss they look out toward the ocean. To them it symbolizes all of life's possibilities. A life they're determined to face together, through good times and bad.

 **The End (for now)**

* * *

 **Author's Notes**

That's it for season 4, hope you liked it. Next season expect to see Daria with a new boyfriend, Sandi with a girlfriend, an unexpected return to Highland and a wedding that's either going to be something out of a fairy tale or a total disaster.


End file.
